Hi, Sandy here, you know, the parish priest from the Church of St. Generic Brand, down the road and round the corner from the Pigs Arms.
Wwwwweeeeeelllll. I have some breakout news for you. Currently I’m in space with Gordon, Gordon O’Donnell, the creator of the universe and we intercepted this phone call from Earth. The message was intercepted by a SHITBOX(Sub-ether Hologram Intergalactic Transmission Broadcast Over X). X is the operating system. So here’s how the theory works. Many aeons ago a single-minded company decided to create objects called shitboxes. I’m sure all who are reading can identify several shitbox
episodes in their life. These shitboxes ended up all over the galaxy and they transmit all means of communication available. They play news from Bad Aunty, sport, music, even country and western!
This transcript is between an orange roughie called the Pres(TP) and a foodie called Jim Kong Ung(Jim) who just loves a deal and whose hobby is rockets however is somewhat a sticky character[one for the nurses].
The Pres decides to give him a call. Ring, ring, ring, ring[get the picture].
Here’s a transcript and I really hope that this will put your minds to rest.
Jim: Heeelo Jim speaking, are you ready to place your order. Today’s special is a burrito called “The Wall” and you build your own, pay on the way out, extra fries 50 cent today only.
TP: No, I don’t want food, I want to speak to the leader of North Career, is that you?
Jim: Yep, that’s me. Crispy fried chicken wings 3 for a dollar, waddy ya say?
TP: Look, it’s about this missile thing with really dangerous stuff on-board.
Jim: Don’t worry bout that, that’s just for the locals, keeps them on their toes, bhawawahahahahah, I made a funny. Schnitzel 7 fifty, just for you.
TP: Hey, ewes a smart man, wheeze could do business. I tell you, what would it take for a man like yourself to reach a peace deal?
[At his stage the phone is muffled by a hand over the talkie bit. The Pres could hear
phrases but nothing to much, “sigh,basket caper, go hurt the dill, lots of sauce and don’t go sour on the dough, moucho dough”. The Pres then realised that these guys were tough negotiators. That’s pretty high praise for fictional characters].
Jim: Can we get a signed basketball and some smoked salmon with sour dough and a yogurt and dill sauce dressing, oh hang on, [muffle, muffle] and capers.
TP: Is that all? Anything else.
Jim: Um, yeah enough to feed the crew.
TP: Okay, how many?
TP: And so we won’t bomb each other.
Jim: Okay, you drive a hard bargain. Sure you don’t what some fried rice?
TP: Now I’m taking your order.
Jim: Yes, so it seems Pres.