from the Pig’s Arms North Uhmerikan correspondent, Phil Meeup.

Latest product development from the makers of Pig-Tel Hygiene Products inc proves to be a massive failure, arseholes say.

Pig-Tel will recall thousands of rolls of 2 ply product after consumers reported that nothing sticks to Trump Soft. Local area man, Scotty Shu said “This stuff is impervious, man. Nothing sticks to it. And worse, when you try to use it, the print comes off on your ass.”

Pig-Tel executives were tight lipped at this latest in a string of failed products including the Mogger Dish Shoe, the Eye Rack, the Tail-O-Ban, Warren Drugs, iWanka Trump Beauty products and lubricants and the Universal Elf.

Not to mention the Wall.

Wall Street, however sold Trump Soft down the poop shute upon launch and anal lists called the stock price’s run a “dip shit dip.. Pan dits pre-dicked most of the Trump Soft will wind up as blotting paper for the next executive spill in the Wine House.