Pig’s Arms Bumper Christmas Edition 2012 – George’s Tree
25 Tuesday Dec 2012
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay
25 Tuesday Dec 2012
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay
24 Monday Dec 2012
Posted in Algernon, Entertainment Upstairs
Tags
Bing Crosby and David Bowie, Christmas Playlist, Coldplay, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley and Martina McBride, Frank Sinatra, Herb Alpert & Tijuana Brass
A short playlist by Algernon
Just a little something to remember trips to the shops, supermarkets and malls in the weeks leading up to 25 December just one more time.
Merry Christmas and a safe and most of all happy New Year to all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiXjbI3kRus
The little drummer boy/ peace on earth – Bing Crosby and David Bowie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC2PF9r9Nhs
The Christmas Song – Frank Sinatra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMF8KZ5Woyw
Have yourself a merry little Christmas – Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtWSR89UhRg
So this is Christmas – Robbie Williams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkFP0VwpPRY
Walking in a Winterland – Dean Martin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KK6sMo8NBY
Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley and Martina McBride
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHra-PJHcNk
Let it snow – Herb Alpert & Tijuana brass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PAwuNg-7-U
Hark the herald angels sing – The Torero Band Tijuana Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at68PMbgyhw
Christmas sweatz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoxQ4Ul_DME
I wish it could be Christmas everyday – Wizzard
22 Saturday Dec 2012
Posted in Emmjay
A couple of years ago, we published a short piece by Madeleine called “Defining Moments”. It raised the topic of favourite books – always worth a chin wag.
Last birthday, one of my mates (well, my only mate, really… well, he’s not really a mate, but he used to live next to a mate … or a person with whom I am acquainted)… Anyway, because I was shouting him dinner (actually I was bribing him to come out and eat with me so I wouldn’t have to birthday it up all alone), he gave me a copy of a book that he had gone to the trouble of asking the retailer to wrap for him, but he forgot to also make sure that they had removed the price sticker … which, as we well know then reveals how cheap books are overseas and how dumb we are for not buying a stash of them from overseas to use as emergency birthday gifts. But I digress.
Luckily, the cost of his dinner was about the same as the value of the book, neatly and by pure accident avoiding the embarrassment of either of us appearing to be a total cheapskate.
The book in question was Rhys Darby’s “This Way to Spaceship”. A cursory glance at this book reveals a lot about my mate’s world view and his rough sketch of what MY world view looks like. Rhys Darby writes in the promo on the back page: “If there is just one book that you would take on to a desert island… grab a copy of this book and take it too”. This is the essence of Darbeyesque humour. The insightful observation coupled with the bait and switch.
My mate got that right. I adore the unexpected idiot twist. Child-like, I love to be told stories and especially to be led up the garden path and to be fooled.
And I also love to hear about other people’s favourite books. Take me to the spaceship ! Away we go…
21 Friday Dec 2012
Posted in Algernon, Bands at the Pig's Arms, Entertainment Upstairs
Tags
. Beatles, Blues rock, Bob Dylan, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Eric Clapton, Fleetwood Mac, Janis JoplinJimi Hendrix, John Mayall's Bluesbreakers, Paul Butterfild Blues Band, The Doors, the Grateful Dead, The Rolling Stones, Yardbirds
Playlist by Algernon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PBDocOXDGE
See See Rider – The Animals
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW4y-9RoMFU
Maggie’s Farm – Bob Dylan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc17DqcA6Qc
Shapes of things – The Yardbirds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RflG4g39amw
Mary Mary – Paul Butterfield Blues band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R6nmKjcSeU
I put a spell on you – Creedence Clearwater Revival
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF0LLfm2bns
On the road again – Canned Heat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbMS0BzOMV0
Love me two times – The Doors
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8scHKFwr0og
Albatross – Fleetwood Mac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSQCatgWaEE
Down on me – Janis Joplin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiOMn0FhLoU
The Wind Cries Mary – Jimi Hendrix
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUUEtCBhn_Q
All your Love – John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers with Eric Clapton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgWUi-ozMAU
Get of my cloud – The Rolling Stones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMUxM4CAAFU
Good Morning School Girl – The Grateful Dead
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8LZGQ4MkvQ
Come together – The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN_Aq2W2Yi0
River Deep Mountain High – Ike and Tina Turner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2LSSgQMc2E
For Your Love – The Yardbirds
17 Monday Dec 2012
Posted in Big M, Foodge Private Dick
Story by Big M
Merv was out of sorts all day. He had to wait for the lunch time crowd to disperse, then, of course the Bowling Ladies lingered on for a ‘spin round the bar’ with ‘Our Mr Merv’, which Merv usually didn’t mind, but he was anxious to get over to see Rosie, at her tattoo emporium and house of pain. He was so distracted that he managed to step on Beryl’s right foot, twice. The first time he mumbled an apology. The second he felt compelled to compensate her with a glass of ‘South Sea Island’ gin and Aldo’s tonic.
He finally bid farewell to the Bowling Ladies, packed up the old urn and Blend Forty-three, then headed over to Rosie’s. He was surprised to find the waiting room empty, but the strangest noises emanated from beyond the beaded curtain that concealed the view of the inner sanctum. Merv sat and busied himself with the puzzles in ‘That’s Life’. The sounds stopped, then a red faced, and rather well known Local Member emerged, ducking his head and mumbling something about the union credit card.
Rosie herself came out to greet him, clad in a very short silk robe, black silk stockings (you know, the one’s I like with the seam at the back, and the butterfly on the ankle) and stilettos. “Missa Merv, Losie been expecting you!” She beckoned him with her right index finger.
Merv was transfixed. He dropped his pencil, and magazine. Merv had never shared this with anyone, but he had quite a penchant for petite women, particularly Asians, and, more particularly, Rosie. “Err…um…ah…Rosie…I …”
“Losie know all about bad dream!” Rosie walked over and picked up Merv’s drooping jaw that was about to leave a stain on her carpet. “Losie know all about babies that cry at night.” Rosie spoke perfect English at home, but liked to bung on an accent for the punters. “Losie rike to help Missa Merv.” Rosie took Merv by the hand, and guided him into the inner sanctum, which was in fact, her tattoo studio (of Foodge’s tattooed arse fame). “Sit, and tell Losie all about dleam!”
Merv sat uncomfortably in the tattoo chair, which was like a dentists chair, but had more levels of adjustment, and an array of armrests, and so on. He looked at the range of inks, and the disposable needles. ‘A hell of a lot different to when I got me tattoo’, he thought. Merv also remembered having to get a Hepatitis B injection after his first, and, hence, only tattoo! Rosie had placed her stilettoed foot on the low coffee table between them, revealing a little more thigh than Merv felt comfortable seeing.
“Come on, Merv, let’s cut the bullshit.” Rosie suddenly dropped the accent. “What the hell’s going on?
Merv was flabbergasted. “Pfft…what…err?
“OK Joe’ I go back to funny Chinee accent” Rosie stood, with her hands on her hips, letting them sway ever so slightly. “I’ll tell you an old Chinese story about man who work twenty hours a day, lun business, rook after famirry, up all hours of the night…then, one day…he have heart attack…die a painful death…you wan that, Missa Merv?”
“Um…err…you can go back to ordinary English…um, but, who else is goin’ to do all a the things that I do?”
“You have a wife, get her to look after the twins.” Rosie had sat down on a stool, and, had decided to drop the ‘Chinee’ accent.
“But, she never ‘ears ‘em cry.” Merv implored, with both hands outstretched.
“She needs new hearing aids, or, needs to leave them turned on!”
“What bloody ‘earin’ aids?” Merv was flabbergasted, again!
“You mean she doesn’t know she’s deaf?” It was Rosie’s turn to be flabbergasted. Everybody knew that Janet was deaf. “Take her to see my cousin, he’s an audiologist. I just happen to have one of his cards. You say ‘Losie’ sent you, he’ll give you discount.”
Merv was astounded. This could be the answer. He thanked Rosie, and hurried out, insistent that he didn’t need a special massage, or a wax, or even an eyebrow tint. He got back behind the bar in the Main Lounge in time for the evening rush. Granny was already sick of pouring pints, tore off her apron, mumbling something about pressure lines in the cellar, then disappeared.
Foodge was back in his usual spot, only slightly worse for wear with his tie half mast, his Fedora tilted back at a ridiculous angle, and his old packet of camels in his hand. “So, how did you get on with our fair Rosie?” He asked, rather too loudly for Merv’s comfort.
“Orright, mate, settle down, ‘ave another pint.” Merv pushed another canoe across the ancient bar. He was interrupted by an insistent screech.
“Merv…you down there?” Janet was in fine form.
“Yes, my love.” He yelled back.
“Merv…Merv…you there?”
“Yes, of course I am, my angel!” Merv was getting quite loud.
Janet’s red face suddenly emerged from the gloom of the staircase that went up to their private rooms. “Merv, you’ve been here all along…why didn’t you answer me?”
The entire bar put down their drinks in unison, and retorted. “He bloody did!!”
Merv was also red faced, and had a small tear in his eye, as he took Janet aside. “Janet, my love, this just confirms something that I’ve been suspecting…you’re going deaf.”
Janet must have been losing her hearing for a while, because she subconsciously lip-read, and understood. “I can’t be going deaf, not at forty four!” Yes, she was young to be a new mum. It was her turn to tear up.
Merv suddenly caught something out of the side of his eye. The Mexican hat, Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and dense moustache couldn’t disguise the features of a man old before his time. “O’Hoo”. He shouted. “What the bloody hell are you doin’ ‘ere?” As he dropped Janet’s hands, and grabbed O’Hoo in a bear hug.
O’Hoo looked around furtively. The only danger was Foodge stumbling towards him with a canoe that was about to capsize all over O’Hoo’s Hawaiian shirt. “Um…under cover…need to know basis…Oh, Christ, can you hide me Merv??”
Quick as a flash Merv grabbed hold of Janet, O’Hoo and Foodge, quickly righting the aforementioned canoe. “Upstairs, the lot of yuz, we’ve all got things to sort out.” As he dragged them up to the Nathan Tinkler Memorial Sitting Room.
To be continued.
14 Friday Dec 2012
Posted in Algernon, Bands at the Pig's Arms, Entertainment Upstairs
Tags
Playlist by Algernon
Last Christmas I had a look at ‘70’s music year by year as well as some of the television of the time. This year I thought I might look at the music of the 60’s. This time around though, I’ll look at specific popular music genres. For the first I’ll look at Beat music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-hL7ryCy3Y
Glad all over – Dave Clark Five
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCBMjgnVTgQ
The Cruel Sea – Billy J Kramer and The Dakotas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR-f10Z2iB4
I’m telling you know – Freddie and the Dreamers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSm0M-BbVdY
A hard day’s night – The Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOYOJAczH0k
I like it – Gerry and the Pacemakers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juzm3BRksf0
Don’t let the sun catch you crying – Gerry and the Pacemakers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv8k0VI9tBc
Mrs Brown you have a Lovely daughter – Herman’s Hermits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reqc38YW81w
No Milk today – Herman’s Hermits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It75wQ0JypA
Bust Stop – The Hollies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1HylIjQt-Y
I’m alive – The Hollies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aog_jgCUJTw
The Fortune Teller – The Merseybeats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyj2qL-bQ4E
Silence is Golden – Brian Poole and The Tremeloes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypv1lZlW1WY
Needles and Pins – The Searchers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Loo99IUUA
The Hippy Hippy Shakes – The Swinging Blue Jeans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5IRI4oHKNU
She’s not there – The Zombies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6LVI1gDswg
Keep on Running – Spencer Davis Group
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrQ4UGIPphk
Baby can I take you home – The Animals
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmYo0ZRpOgo
Go Now – The Moody Blues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0YifXhm-Zc
She Loves you – The Beatles
13 Thursday Dec 2012
Posted in Sandshoe
Tags
Story and Illustration by Sandshoe
Tiki is a revered Polynesian symbol of the beginning of time, evidence of a genesis; recognisable in jade, bone, ironstone and green plastic.
Living in Takau Street in Auckland I walked the slope of the hill into the city to buy mussels for steaming and bananas, yams and taro. The culture new and heady had the background song of the Polynesian congregations in local churches and at Christmas time the nativity. The vaporous steam and the delicious smells of the cooking later lead me to buy bamboo steamers that would throw a lid off as the shell of the mussels burst open and revealed their succulence. There in Takau Street, in the bungalow in a distinctive row of them on stilts, I became aware one week-end day of an assembly of Polynesian men laughing and jostling between them a squealing pig up the steep climb alongside the side division fence of corrugated iron. I assumed one of them sliced the pig’s throat open.
Much later when I learn Ruth Park had lived in Takau Street, it assumes a folkloric quality for me as if I had walked on hallowed ground.
Walking anywhere, I looked for the Pohutekawa tree and mixed it with the Feijoa because of the red blossoms. I think I will never see once I learned of the legend of the Pohutekawa Tree a more important tree in its impact, its story, in my consciousness of cultural difference, the importance of access to story telling and a nation’s symbols, legends, a people’s heritage. It is replete with stories in Maori culture, as many possibly as one for each of the magnificent fiery red blossoms it flourishes in full flower. The pohutakawa was the first tree I knew in New Zealand in that it grew ancient and giant like in the front yard of the home which was my family home there with my then-husband and our children. My favourite image of the pohutakawa tree is from children’s books in which the roots of the tree allowed Tawhaki, the warrior, access to the land from a subterranean reality, an under-world.
I eventually became alone in an emotional sense in a culture that grew on me by a kind of osmosis of understanding, a hunger to understand, to recognise the symbols. Searching for the musical notes, the sounds, I read in the city library from a reference book about early Maori flutes and amazed at the variety of sizes and configuration in detailed plates of drawings.
Turning to the culture of the Europeans I read in a local council library a first hand account of the end of the Maori Wars written by a land agent established by the British Government. It surprised me for its empathy and most that I mastered the placename and remain captivated by it, Ngaruawahia, designated home of the Maori King established to meet the spokespersons for the British Queen Victoria.
I stumble in the local library on the story of Governor King at Norfolk Island who was ordered by the British Government to capture two Maoris and return with them to Norfolk Island to garner the secrets of flax growing and processing. The Governor hearing the plaintive song one sang in the evenings came to recognise grieving. To simplify; he had the men dine with him, created the rudiments of a Maori-English dictionary and returned them, against the orders of the British Government, to the location from where he had stolen the men. Claimed is that when a British boat returned to the location, local people ran to meet it shouting “Kingi”.
When I returned to visit New Zealand in recent time I embarked on a pilgrimage to the library. I am sure it is a worthy library. For my part, I could no longer recognise it, large, impersonal and nobody was recognisable, or immediately able to identify an “old book based on a University generated thesis or by a lecturer, about Governor King”. Pity nevertheless I could not find the text in the time available to me and short of resources. The story I read would make an excellent film, whatever basis for it might be established through detailed research.
Do I imagine it was claimed the author was discredited in his time or scoffed at but anyway, I settled in a library chair with a collection of short stories for old time’s sake.
When I lived in New Zealand, I was desperately hungry when I discovered their power, for short stories by New Zealand authors. Frank Sargeson emerges wry and friendly. I imagine him down to earth and perfectly accessible to an inner circle. Janet Frame who I had not heard of and I cannot understand why sweeps me off my feet with her short story, You Are Now Entering The Human Heart, about a teacher who drapes a snake around her shoulders. Frame published it in America first, I am sure I read that and it exemplifies for me living an existence that feels estranged in one’s native country. Driven by that understanding, I consider I would like to have the poem I wrote, The Horse, published in the Dari language and distributed in Afghanistan and Pakistan. I believe it would be instantly appreciated, understood, find its admirers, be taken into the human heart in the Islamic culture of the region.
Lit by the torch of discovery so many writers in their culture in New Zealand told stories of elements I had begun to sense as migrant, nevertheless as an outsider and but felt isolated with, I consumed Dan Davin, Stead, Morrissey, Patricia Grace, the Maori writer Witi Ihimaera and on it went, in an immersion in the first class writers that have sprung out of the dynamic environment, the fascination that is the colour, smell, sights and sounds of Aotearoa, The Land of the Long White Cloud. The cloud is a persistent and recurrent configuration that evidences itself as a characteristic roll like a bed roll, like a chastity roll, like a round Japanese pillow to rest the neck on if only it were possible. It has to be seen to be understood for its power as a symbol of the country we know more commonly as New Zealand.
Land and sky, tree and mountain, cloud and formation in misty and re-formative shaping that is easily perceived and naturally incorporated into the soul are everything in the story telling.
When I worked subsequently for a juncture at the offices of the New Zealand Herald as a copy holder I was one of the staff employed to read The New Zealand Listener on contract. Here was access to the copy of some of the greatest of the contemporary short story writers published in New Zealand. I thrilled to the quality of what I was holding at first hand.
One of the regular political columnists to the Listener presented copy as a veritable rant of passionate declaration. She threw fact and raw opinion together with what looked like an ultimate faith in the editorial resources at her disposal. Thus I learned her column was what was left after the reduction of her copy, in my opinion brilliantly, by the editorial staff assisted by the Readers Department; sometimes from as many as 5 intensely and minutely hand written pages to 2. The published segments were lifted directly out of the text nevertheless with the barest alteration. I was privy to the emotion behind the scenes, the pulse of an environment at the heart of contemporary culture.
My marriage had meanwhile irrevocably broken down.
It was very much later I privately lampooned (in the doodle published here) myself in a hostesses uniform, hostess of myself, searching for identity. The allusion is to the attention to detail and money spent on the design of uniforms, which came to my attention in relationship with a one-time clothing manufacturer and designer who was brought to New Zealand by the government to assist establish the clothing industry in the 1950s, the industry it became, which was leading edge. One of his claims about his (spectacular) career was he had in one year designed the Air New Zealand hostess uniforms. I tried my hand at designing my own.
‘W’ is, of course, the initial of my surname. It is homage to a former lover who depicted himself in a cartoon thinking – at a job interview – “I wonder what Wilson is doing”.
I was caught up in another culture and travelling one of the hardest roads, almost too lonely to travel home alone.
10 Monday Dec 2012
Posted in Lehan Winifred Ramsay
07 Friday Dec 2012
Posted in Algernon, Bands at the Pig's Arms, Entertainment Upstairs
Playlist by Algernon
Here’s one for the superannuated Punks. On Thursday Therese, FM, Algernonina the Elder and I went for a big night out to the Enmore to see Blondie, The Stranglers as well as The Machinations. Here’s a selection of their tunes.
The Machinations
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y5Ru76ce6Q
Pressure sway
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dDRQRFDbu8
No say in it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqEioAE01Kw
My Hearts on fire (sorry about the ending)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW0o8BBvv_c
You got me going again
The Stranglers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B4bsqYxwo0
No more heroes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7R7q1lSZfs
Golden Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si2kis6lWRg
Hanging around
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF3P4AAaVIg
Peaches
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFmGV_UY548
Strange little girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqd9oWSqWIE
Skin Deep
Blondie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGU_4-5RaxU
Heart of Glass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH3Q_CZy968
Call Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWhkbDMISl8
Hanging on the telephone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXX8rUV4p9A
Mother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0skjm-uJSs
Tide is high
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW6OrdLkCLU
Atomic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvqgb1D6Opw
Union City Blue
06 Thursday Dec 2012
Posted in Sandshoe
An Uplifting Story by Sandshoe
“You alright this morning, mate?”
He explained.
“We’ll get someone to look after it. Won’t be long”
“How long would that be? Long, the time I mean? How long?”
He remembered he opted for supposing it would be looked after. The answer to his question how long was a retreat of crackling vowels and consonants jumbled in an echo of archaic concrete and metal pipes humming a low tone through the speaker phone in the basement. Even the intercom was a hangover of twenty years.
Not even a pack of cards to play Patience. A gust of sighed air that frightened him for its despair disappeared into the bright light.
He considered the light above him in its exposed recess. When this happened the last time, the week before, the lift had shuddered to its stop and the light went out. He was really frightened then, banging with his right fist on the black for a door he had walked towards with his other arm extended in front of his body, the tips of his fingers stretched until they scraped abruptly on its surface.
Ironic he considered ‘lift’ was the heading on the memo on his desk, yes, inclusive of the carefully dug out (scratched on and doodled) single inverted commas glaring at him yesterday morning when he arrived for work. He didn’t follow up after the short exchange with maintenance. He was late. The bus broke down at the outskirts of the park. Breathing the steady moment as he called overcoming stress, he walked but unsure of the time it might take to negotiate the race barricades dragged across the side streets. He had feigned indifference at the foot of the step of the bus to the exhortations of a feral passerby he should get a life.
How can we tell where and for what reason an incident might lodge in the brain and restore itself in a broken shard he thought. He recalled yesterday again, rounding the corner into the stairwell at the back of his building, the man approaching him from the other side of the rubbish bin and motioning with two upheld fingers, a v-shape towards his lips, his right eyebrow arched.
Not that it was his building. He detested these intrusions of thought. They flickered in intransigent patterns, entirely irrelevant. He shook his head. He walked into the lift that day without thinking about what he was doing yet had vowed to not ride it. Punching the bundy he derided you could say he forgot.
Sound seemed to come even from the opposite direction to the noises that swallowed the retreating voice when maintenance told him wouldn’t be long. He imagined that he supposed.
He shifted his weight and wondered how long had he been standing in the position he assumed. Habit meant he executed a turn as he always did after walking into the lift and pressing the floor button he wanted. He ended facing the door in a stance of readiness to exit. The optimism of that repeated movement seemed foolish.
Habit meant he lifted as well the wrist he always lifted to check the time on his wrist watch. The cuff of his shirt lay perfectly flat where his watch would usually be revealed each morning as the lift ascended to his floor. He didn’t have his watch. He saw in a moment the pin that secured the band on the ceramic tiles of the ground floor men’s rest room. The allergy cream he worried would stain his shirt only smeared a light trace of an oily substance on the cuff seam. He stared at the fabric, making purpose that was useful out of lifting his wrist. Realisation was haunting him he had not considered the pin belonged to his own watch band. He tapped at the sleeve realising his error, re-viewed the shine on the end of the pin against the rough grouting. Panic rolled in a wave from the tip of his toes through his stomach to his throat.
Where the watch might be took precedence over thinking about how long he had been waiting. His eyes watered. Out of a swirl of red colouration and shallow breaths he felt defenceless. He recalled the camera and looked up to the flickering expulsion of red light overhead. Security might not be esconsed in his office, drinking the mug of coffee so large he wondered the man could walk a straight line, least year after year walk the crooked walk keeping him resolutely grabbing at vulnerable juniors. He protected the man by doing nothing. It was out of fear of his own secrets.
In the meeting in the afternoon, Jon interrupted Dave with a flourish of his hand and the retort he didn’t think it was a good thing they lost the account. Dave had snapped it doesn’t matter.
“Of course it matters!” he said aloud, “It bloody matters.”
He returned to the buttons and pushed the alarm. He was having a panic attack, quietly perhaps but nevertheless. He had forgotten the alarm.
If his mother were alive she would call the garment his friend in the new office was wearing a cardie and discuss with him how attractive he had thought him in the pink stretch top flattering the below knee grey skirt. His eyes across the room moved from the match of the sensible slim line flat shoes and simple white-blonde shoulder length wig. He saw close later he had beautiful blue eyes.
How he got the job was easy. He recounted he got sick of the daytime soapies and laughed his endearing guffaw. End of day he got to the stage he had to tape episodes to get the housework done before his ex-wife came home. Started with a girl he went out with. He corrected himself. Woman.
“Twiddled my thumbs at first,” he said, “because her sitting in front of the box episode after episode bored me.”
He sat on the floor of the lift. He sat by shuffling backwards and leaning, sliding his shoulder blades in contact with the wall down its length until his behind touched the floor. Motionless, he squatted with his head bent back, rigid until the desire to sit took over. He stretched one aching leg forward and then the other in a gesture of defeat and collapsed, limp, his head lolling forwards.
“Mr. Leydon?”
The intercom spluttered into a crackle of pattering, scattering sounds like a dozen mice scratching at the glass cage in the research laboratory downstairs. When he worked in the laboratory he took the sweeping reach of broad and comforting stairs with the carved rail firmly in his grasp.
“Mr Leydon? Nobody’s in yet. I can’t get maintenance. I do know the electrician is sick today. Rumour had it he was going to watch the race from home instead of here. Mr Leydon, I’m sorry.”
He raised his head slowly, staying alive he considered and wiped his face with the back of one hand, then with its palm and the other hand, careful, avoiding the stiff cuffs of his sleeves by elevating his forearm. He felt like a cat.
“Mr Leydon?”