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Category Archives: Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Lehan’s Gift

24 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Bands at the Pig's Arms, Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 17 Comments

It’s been a while – but great to hear from Lehan Winifred Ramsay.

Euthanasia

02 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

bd, Lehan Winifred Ramsay, pet euthanasia

bd

bd

Story, painting and photograph by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Vale to my old dog, old dog, old dog bd, who died yesterday, pretty old but not as old as I would have liked him to be. And this is for him, this consideration of euthanasia.

A year and a half ago we went together to the animal doctor, me crying and him grimacing, and I asked the doctor to euthenize him. The doctor said no, he was still in pretty good shape, and he was right, it wasn’t an end ailment he had, not a spiralling sickness, it was temporary and he got over it. The doctor didn’t give me medication, he gave me some painkillers because I asked for them, and I put them away.

But on Monday we went there again, walking the kilometre or so along the road. Bd’s tumour had grown immense, and it was now changed, and it was damaging, nasty, impossible to heal. I had received a second opinion about removing the tumour, it was the same as the first, it was too big to remove. I took a plastic box with the last piece of my birthday cake in it, chocolate gateau, because I wanted the doctor to euthanize bd, and I wanted him to have that cake before he died.

But the doctor refused. Refused to euthanize him and refused to treat him. I suppose he had a particular line, at which he would euthanize, and we had not yet crossed that line. And I had already told him I had received some ointment from another doctor, so I suppose he felt he could also refuse treatment. Also, I suppose that he hastened the line, and in his own way that was treatment.

And so we came home and the next four days were kind of like a horror movie, and I was a bit frozen, a bit slow, as I went over options, went over possibilities, tried to figure out how to do this, how to do that. On Thursday I gave bd a painkiller. Painkillers are essentially useless for this kind of thing because once you start them you are going to have to continue them, the pain will be much worse when you come back to it. So okay, I thought, I can do this if bd can have painkillers, and if I can have antidepressants. Because the pain of this is going to kill me too. But with those two things it’s doable.

The other doctor came on Friday afternoon. We didn’t talk about it in advance. He brought the drugs. He described the situation, the options. I held bd, and we ended his life.

A year and a half ago I thought it was simply my judgement, that I was not capable of knowing, because I am not an experienced doctor, when is the time for ending the life of something. Now I think that is only half of the story. It is also that the doctor treating the patient is not capable of knowing, because they are not close to the patient, when is the time for ending their life. And that, I think is the fundamental difficulty.

I, here, was thrown into the dark ages.

He didn’t get his chocolate cake, in the end, he didn’t get any chocolate. The pound said they would collect his body and they came pretty soon. They said they would also take some flowers or food if I wanted. While I waited for the pound to come and collect his old body, I made him a brown felt lions collar, I put it in a little pouch with a block of chocolate.

lion bd

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

24 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Lehan Winifred Ramsay, Old dog

ThisOldDog

Story and Painting by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

The cat has taught him how to escape.

He taught the cat how to take walks, him on the leash and the cat darting freely and in return the cat taught him that it is not necessary to have a human with one to do that.

The cat does not know how to open the door but this old dog has now taught himself and I look up to find both of them have silently exited the house and are out on the road wandering freely and holding up the traffic.

Pig’s Arms DIY Fully Eco-Friendly 2015 Calendar – Our Thanks to Lehan Winifred Ramsay !!!!

16 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

2015 Calendar, bricks, Do it Yourself, Lehan Winifred Ramsay, mice, Pig-Tel, Tranquility

2015Calendar

Fireworks

15 Thursday May 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 7 Comments

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Fireworks, Lehan Winifred Ramsay

fireworks

Fireworks by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

The Curse of Cassandra

17 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 53 Comments

Tags

Cassandra, future patterns, Madness

The Afternoon

The Afternoon

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

I am thinking that it is very bold of me to venture into the domain of myth as we have amongst us Atomou, a true scholar. But the public debate – one with two sides with no ears – last week moved back in to mental health and this is a place I have some curiousity about. I wish I had kept a copy of one comment I posted that was knocked back, as it was I thought quite good but I will try to return to that moment here.

The “mad” were once considered seers. Not all of them, I’m sure, but some were. They appeared to be able to see into the future. Cassandra was given the gift of being able to see into the future, perhaps by Apollo. But then in an act of total spite he cursed her with small print – that nobody would ever believe her.

It appears to me that mental illness can carry with it something that resembles Cassandra’s gift. It is a sensitivity to pattern. Is mental illness a “bad fit” – that the individual somehow comes into conflict with their environment or community and for whatever reason is unable to conform to their thinking and action? For a multitude of possible reasons – that they are simply incompatible, that the individual has some unacceptable behaviours, that the environment or community has some unacceptable behaviours.

Perhaps sometimes merely through belief that they are correct and do not accept correction. There is either a great necessity to evade correction to remain safe or a smaller necessity to evade correction to remain convinced of that correctness. For whatever reason they become aware “of the air”, as they say in Japan. They develop higher skills in pattern recognition. Those patterns being patterns of behaviours or actions that are unfolding. They learn to recognize how things happen, which patterns lead to good results, which lead to unfavourable ones. And they learn how to head them off.

It’s quite a skill, when you think about it. It’s also a skill everyone has and uses. But for a person who has developed a conflict with their environment, this skill is highly sensitized and particularly acute. It’s acute because it is detecting developments that could be dangerous to the individual ego or actual physical safety. It’s acute because it is aimed at preventing things from happening. Because this individual’s sensor is far more sensitive than those around them, they are seeing things developing much earlier.

Firstly this means that their reaction to those emerging patterns is going to seem abnormal and far too strong for what is actually happening. But secondly, they could be wrong. The patterns that they are seeing may not develop in the way they are expecting. And their reaction to those patterns may in fact be part of the pattern itself. And importantly, it might be that the more unsettled the person is, the greater the selection of data from which those patterns are forming. This means that they might be recognizing a pattern from something else, so the level of distress is an important factor in determining the accuracy of those patterns.

I’ve experienced the recognition of this in myself. First I began to feel stressed by some interactions, even though on the face of it they appeared not to be particularly serious. Next I found myself in a couple of situations in which my reaction surprised the people around me and also myself. I felt a little ashamed, but also curious. This has happened before, what is this, I thought to myself, and spent a lot of time going over everything that was going on around me.

What had happened was this. There was an initial interaction. It was quite innocuous. But some time before that the same persons had initiated a very similar interaction, once or on multiple occasions, and each of those interactions had led in the same way to an unfavourable outcome. My response was to the pattern, but the strength of my response was to all of those previous outcomes. I was also signalling that I would not allow this strategy to happen. The strategy appeared to be a kind of manipulative use of socially acceptable interaction but it appeared in hindsight that they were actually using that socially acceptable interaction as a form of manipulation to achieve an outcome that was not really acceptable to me at all.

I suppose I had signalled to the other person that I would not allow the strategy. But to the onlookers I had signalled something else. I had signalled that I was over-reacting. If they were surprised by this it is likely that they were not aware of the interaction at all. It was not a group strategy, it was an individual strategy. And it was helpful to know that but that too came at a cost: they were now likely to distrust my future reactions. This is, I suppose, the curse of the “mad” – that even a response is tricky. The response is to the ongoing interaction, not to the actual dialogue or action. That ongoing interaction cannot be seen by those around it if it has taken place over time. So we are talking about a time-based problem.

Can the “mad” see into the future? In a way, perhaps they can. Perhaps though the real curse is that they cannot predict that that particular possible future is the one that will happen with any real certainty. We cannot know how their knowledge might contribute to an unfavourable result. But that anyone knows anything at all about what is unfolding is perhaps an advantage to us. I believe that it may be to our advantage to return to a point of listening to madness, rather than trying to cure it.

This does not mean: to give up our interventions. It means: to pay attention. It may be trying to tell us something. Patterns of individual communication are strongly affected by our environment – and I am particularly thinking about our media and our public dialogues.

 

Garbage Days

23 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 25 Comments

Tags

climate change., garbage, Hokkaido, Matsumae, Seaweed, Town kids

KYOKO

KYOKO

 
Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

It is Big Burnable Garbage Day and I have waited three weeks and four or five years for this, it is the last of the Big Burnable Garbage of my little junk house in this seaweed village.

And it is the second time I have put out this garbage. One one of my first holiday days here I went for my morning walk and found garbage up and down the street all put out and ready to be collected, and I came back and assembled my own pile, very excited. From the dilapidated General Store I bought a page of Garbage Stickers, ten for three dollars and stuck them on each and every bundle.

There was a very big chest of drawers with all the drawers taken out and tied up into more piles. Stacks of plywood, wooden doors, paper doors, a bicycle. Sadly my neighbours were wrong, and their garbage was rejected, but worse still was that almost all of mine was too. They took the rusted bicycle. They put the doors into the truck, smashed out all the glass and then put the doors back on the road. And I had to pull it all back in. I stacked it in the lane with the permission of my neighbours and it cluttered up the street for two weeks.

And then again today was Big Burnable Day and there was nothing, nothing that was going to keep me from being here. Even the final funeral ceremony of my friend did not keep me from being here. Early I rose and dragged the chest of drawers back up to the road. All the plywood, now swollen with rain and mouldy and full of bugs, threatening to fall apart, to be retied, and the drawers, retied, and all the bits of wood from the glass doors, bundled, and I stacked this big pile by the side of the road and this time I did not check to see what my neighbours had put out because two weeks ago they were wrong.

And it was all out there, and quite early the garbage men came, about nine-thirty, and I went out to see them trying to figure out how the hell they were going to get it all into the truck, already pretty full, and lest they find a reason not to take some of it and break my heart I just waved and fled back into the house. And it was gone.

Even though it was a huge pile of garbage and I had fretted over it for two weeks and for five years before that it did not give me that feeling of huge success, because there was already more. All the plywood that had splintered and fallen apart in my garden, I had bags full of that, and all the broken glass from other doors people had put over the weeds to try to control them in my absence, that had all been scraped up and pulled up and put into more bags and all I could see were those bags. Was I going to be able to rid my house of those bags before my holiday was up.

There was a knock at the door and a neighbour appeared, one of the women who work part-time for the konbu fishermen, laying out the konbu to dry, sorting it, picking it up, laying it out to dry again. She had a bag. Here, she said. This is curry. This is seaweed. This is nira. I don’t know what nira is in English, it is a bit like a green onion and a bit garlicky.

It was all frozen, she had brought it from her freezer but I only have an esky in my kitchen and only sometimes with ice in it, ice is laughably expensive now that it is only for luxury, so it is not so practical. She stepped out of her shoes and into the house, which is only half-properly built these days, and sat down on all the things I had thrown onto the couch because I have thrown all the cupboards away. I cleared the couch for her and made her a cup of coffee and she had a cigarette and looked around.

Oh that’s a good painting she said, I made it I said make one of me she said okay come here at nine o’clock tomorrow I said, I have one canvas left.

She laughed with delight, had some cigarettes and the big cup of coffee and told me about her family; three sons and one daughter and six grandchildren and the youngest son married only last month and her husband and some complicated arrangements to be where things are now.

My next-door neighbour appeared, she was wearing a bright yellow scarf and she was pretty happy, she went to the Big Town on Monday and saw some movies with her friends and I think she may not have done that nearly enough since her husband died earlier this year but today – again! – she is going into the Big Town for an enka concert – some old-fashioned folk-wailing about love and the sea – and she said it wasn’t really her thing but anyway she was off soon on the bus.

And she pointed out the bags of plastics I had put beside the house because I put them out on the wrong day last week and they were refused, and that the crows had got into them and thrown everything around. My life here is about garbage disasters, I tell her and she says you BOUGHT garbage! You bought this HOUSE! It is true, I am without any common sense. Anyway while I have my neighbour in my house drinking coffee I can ask her lots of questions. She gave me some food. This is curry I thought she said but actually it is kare, a kind of fish. Quick! It’s an exchange of local produce! Throw it in a pot!

This village is dying out, is what people say. Even with the shinkansen coming in, still maybe five years away if we are lucky, it is dying out. They are lucky to make three classes for the Junior High school but the big thing is that even if the kids in High School were smart their parents cannot afford to send them to university, they don’t have dreams of going to university so it is unlikely that they will bother to do particularly well at high school. They get jobs and they go away. All of her kids live in Tokyo, and Sapporo, they got jobs there because there were no jobs here.

The sea is unwell, for a long time it hasn’t had much fish, it hasn’t had much seaweed, people only just manage on what they catch. She says the coast of Korea is much the same, the sea is dirty, who would swim in it. For a long time, not just for the three years of nuclear disaster. The sea is dirty from people using it as a dump. That is pretty terrible for an island like Hokkaido.

Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to be neglected at all in such circumstances. My student says it’s not so much the dirtiness of the water as the temperature of it that has risen, sending all the fish who lived around here up north to Russia, it’s global warming that is the problem. And then my friend the car man rides his motorcycle down for morning tea and says the coastline around here is much dirtier than other places, people have no respect for the sea and it’s that that’s the problem. But he also says we’re too far from the big town and anyway the big town has sea. And the sea walls aren’t very high and the houses close to the shore, there are more earthquakes and more tsunami than there used to be and it’s just dangerous these days.

I would like to feel that there was a way in which these villages could thrive. But what incentive is there for that. When you want fish you go to the big supermarket and you buy what everyone else buys. There is no fresh fish shop, there is no fresh vegetables shop to sell the produce that is grown around here. You buy what people in the city buy and it is more expensive and you have less choice because nobody will buy expensive stuff so only cheap stuff is what you see here.

But the worst thing I think is the kind of evolution of neglect. If your best kids cannot be their best then the natural effect of that will be that kids settle for moving to a big city and being second best. They don’t get what the city kids get – a fair chance. So they will always have lives that are a bit if a struggle and it is more unlikely that they will thrive and come back here, saying: I have some good ideas for this town.

This kind of city-led intelligence is creating overcrowded cities and dying towns, and just when our technology could be making a difference, when our enlightened thinking could be finding ways to bring people back to their villages, we are settling for big-town/moderate-climate intelligence.

I think that it is not intelligence. I think that any time a moderate climate dictates construction know-how, living know-how and system know-how the extreme edges of the climate are going to suffer, I see that in Australia too, where the very hot places are still negotiated using moderate-climate thinking. And where centralized distribution ensures that the advantage lies in a cluster and there is little advantage to not joining that cluster.

We should somehow be giving these small town kids, who have experienced life here, a way to use their knowledge to make something of their towns. And we’re not. My neighbour says that nobody famous has come from Matsumae in the past twenty years and I think in a country where there is a constant search for local specialities and curiosities, that should not be the case.

If seaweed kids do not go to university and become Masters and Doctors we will have no more seaweed kids, we will lose the species. More simply, more short-term, if we forget how easy it is to say to someone: that is very good, you are very good at that, then we are relying on the system to find those people. This moderate-climate city-cluster system is never going to find anything that doesn’t suit it. It is not to be relied on.

Here is the painting I painted of my neighbour, her name is Kyoko.

The Sounds of Sirens – The Final Conclusion

10 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Rudd

Conclusion to Lehan Winifred Ramsay’s mini-series

IT’S HERE. BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND. THE STORY THAT THE OTHER MAINSTREAM MEDIA REFUSED TO RUN

Two men stand on the dais before the Great Walk On The Water. It is The Course of History and Only One Man can Survive. There is Mister A Boat. And there is Mister Rudder.

Neither of them of course prepared to admit that the most vehement, the most emphatic subject of their campaign was based entirely on the boatiness of their names and how that was going to resonate to the public. Even Mister Rupert Murdoch has not been shameless enough to invoke the name of the McCales Navy in this fight-to-the-death, preferring a more nuanced referencing of Hogan’s Heroes. This is probably because he can edge in not only a reference to women but also the ongoing social controversy in America concerning weapons and therefore get the conversation round to John Howard again.

This is The Walk On Water and it should not even be attempted by someone who is not prepared to swear that they will in their determination to become the Leader of This Great Country of Ours try absolutely anything. Things that ordinarily you would be put into a mental hospital for, things that ordinarily might be considered not cricket. Mister A Boat is prepared to say that he would consider anal sex, that’s pretty shocking and it is not going to be topped by Mister Rudder and that is probably why he is going to fall through that great Partisan Platform out there. We all know that, apparently, even though the contest has not yet begun. Anyone who doesn’t know that is really dumb.

There are other rituals for the attaining of manhood and Leadership of course but since that nasty incident last year with the Walking Barefoot On Coals at one of those Tony Robbins events nobody is even going to suggest them. So that’s enough of a lead-in here, our two candidates are at the waters shore now and they have taken off their shiny black shoes being careful to untie the laces first and peeled off their breathable socks cuts down on athletes foot and they have taken their first steps and YES! It DOES! It DOES look like they can walk on water! In fact they ARE, they ARE walking on water it is a small miracle here today folks but a big one for Christianity which is being redeemed as we watch. Oh god, the humanity.

A bold step each of them takes out onto the water and another and another both looking very confident and somehow bigger and more emphatic with each step. But oh Mister Rudder has just dropped below the surface of the water some of the security are just donning life jackets and reading health and safety regulations they will be out there in just a moment. But oh wait there is a kind of choir that has popped up there they are singing. Everything’s all right now everything’s fine. And it’s cool and the ointments sweet for the fire in your head and feet and I think this was meant to be an interlude it is clear that Mister Crow has really done a lovely job with the local volunteers and this could be a bit of a highlight. We are just segueing smoothly into Les Miserables now. Mister Rudd has been pulled in by a pole with a robotic looking arm there.

Mister A Boat, he is still walking. He is just walking and walking, across the water, and from here his hair it seems to be growing, almost leonine, the hair dye seems to be fading, from here he appears almost hawkish, it is quite remarkable. I understand that it looked good to start them both off at the Parliament House but Mister A Boat is just getting further and further away, who knows where it is going to end today. People have started blowing whistles now, trying to get his attention there is talk of ordering in some of those things from the South African World Soccer Cup vuvulesas perhaps but he seems distracted by something, he is looking a little up into the sky, he seems to be seeing something there, something up there, in the sky. Anyway that’s how it happened here today.

A Funeral for a friend

06 Friday Sep 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 4 Comments

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Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Blue Willow

Blue Willow

 

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay
On Thursday a message comes from Facebook that my friend Aoyagi san has died. I have a feeling of being mortified. Ten days ago I arrived here and instead of finding his hospital and visiting him as I had planned I went straight to my little house because it is quite far away and utilities had to be organized. I was planning for a second time to visit him and had to cancel that plan and that is the very day that he dies. I am at the hospital with a scratch on my eye trying to get some relief from the pain. While I am waiting a woman strikes up a conversation with me and when I tell her about my friend she says the funeral will likely be on the weekend.

But I am struggling to get what I need for my eye. What I need is a contact lens, and why I can’t get it is because it runs against common sense. Common sense for someone who is not an eye doctor or an eye patient is that contact lenses commonly cause infection and in case of infection they should be removed. But common sense for an abrasion on the cornea is to put in a contact lens, because the swelling causes the cornea to rub against the eyelid and the swelling gets worse. On Thursday I get some ointment because I have all the other medicines with me, I brought them with me, I have a chronic eye problem. On Friday with a swollen purple eye I go back again and sit for three hours and demand a contact lens, and against their better judgement they give me one.

Later on on the Friday I have had a painless sleep and am feeling euphoric and the message comes that the funeral is this evening, in two hours time. I’m sorry, I reply, I cannot go, and then I sit in my car and think: yes I can, I can drive there and be one hour late. So I do, I pack up the car with dog and futon and bags and drive into town and get to the funeral. It is in the house of his wife and people very formally dressed in black are spilling out into the street. There are a lot of people I know. Go into the house and pay your respects, they say. I have never actually been to a funeral in Japan, even in twenty-three years. And I am not dressed in formal clothes, in fact I am wearing prison stripes. So I feel a bit embarrassed. Takeshi is there, Takeshi was my student and then my assistant and then a teacher in my school and he is very smart and he has come with the correct funeral wear and two envelopes with a monetary offering; one for him and one for me.

There is a room filled with white; white curtains, white flowers, white glowing lamps and candles and photographs and incense and a terribly thin, terribly long white coffin. My friend Ayoagi san is dead in the coffin, he looks very pretty in there, quite healthy but so tiny. His coffin is so thin because he died of cancer and he had almost disappeared. I don’t know how long he knew he had cancer, but we all expected him to have it anyway because he smoked a lot and drank a lot and was gaunt and slow. He had a bar up town and a cafe down town.

I have one time spent some time with his son but not his daughter or his wife. I am in a queue and when it is my turn I kneel down on the ornate cushion and make a prayer and light some incense and pay my respects to Aoyagi san and when that is done I move off the cushion and kneel on the floor and pay my respects to his family and talk a bit about Aoyagi san. I am “the woman with the dog who lived in Aoyagi Cho”. Well we understand him, Aoyagi san’s wife says. But he – the son – how will he understand him? But there are more people waiting in line to pay their respects and I have probably spent too much time there.

Outside people are drinking a bit and eating a bit and feeling very sad, Aoyagi san was, I reckon, a pretty exceptional person. He sat in his bars encouraging people to do things, even just talk, and I think a lot of things got off the ground because of that. I know they did, because I saw them and even participated in a few of them.

Well my eye feels pretty okay even after I drink till three o’clock talking to Takeshi, who I haven’t had a chance to talk to for two and a half years, and it feels okay when I sleep in the back of the car with my dog down by the seaside and even when the old guys talking on the sea wall wake me up at six o’clock it feels good and even through the morning until I drive the two hours back to my small village it feels fine, I am giving it a lot of drops and the contact lens is still doing its job.

I am thinking about the son and I am wanting to tell him some story about his father so I paint a picture for him. But by Sunday my eye is hurting again. The hospital always takes out the contact lens after three days and three days is Monday so even though it is still hurting I take out the contact lens and then it hurts a lot.

By the evening it is quite unbearable and I know that the little hospital has an emergency service so I go up there at six o’clock and they send me down to the general section. There is a nurse and a doctor and the doctor is very very uncomfortable with the idea of putting a contact lens in my eye. He first spends a long time washing it, which involves squirting water into it for twenty minutes after pain-killing drops have been applied. I know that it is not lint but a cut and I am not very comfortable with twenty minutes of having water squirted into my eye and although we reach a compromise in which he allows the nurse to put the second contact lens in there, he says that there will be no more contact lenses. So I know that I have a very limited time to get myself to a proper eye hospital and that doing so would be a very, very good idea. So it is time to get in the car again and drive the two hours into town.

When I leave the little hospital it is seven o’clock and there is a white fox sitting in the driveway as if it is waiting for someone. Then it runs away.

So I pack up the car again, with futons and bags of things and my dog. And the painting I made for the son of Aoyagi san, which is not yet dry. And I drive into town and it is half-past-nine when I get there. It is late but he will be at school tomorrow and so I knock on the door and when he answers I sit in the entranceway with him and give him the painting and explain the things I have been thinking about. His mother comes home and finds us there and says that she wants to hear them too and another friend of Aoyagi san has just arrived from England and that I should stay so I go into the house.

Aoyagi san has been cremated, the coffin containing his body is gone and there is a box that contains some fragments of his bones. But according to the religious doctrine he is still here, his spirit is a little disorientated and he needs some time to get used to his new non-living status before he makes his way to a heaven. So the altar is still set up, all the curtains and flowers and photographs and incense and food offerings. In the end, I sleep there on a futon on the floor, it is very bright with the lamps and the candles, and we are aware that he may choose to visit and talk. But he doesn’t. Anyway it is very soothing, it is a chance to sit with him and reflect too on his new self, the non-alive Aoyagi san.

Anyway I have never met Aoyagi san’s wife before and I have a chance to spend time with her. I go to the eye clinic at six-thirty, it is just around the corner, it is in my old neighbourhood. I come back at eight o’clock when I have been signed in and the clinic will begin at eight-thirty and she makes me breakfast, and then I go to the clinic again. They say; it is okay, the abrasion in your eye is now only about two millimetres and it is healing up, it is just taking a little longer but there is no infection. You can wear that contact lens for another two or three days, the problem will probably be fixed by then and here is a letter for the little hospital in case you need another contact lens put in and here are two more contact lenses and everything is fine.

So I am relieved, my eye will be fine, I can go back to the village without fear and I have a day to do things in town. I go to see some of the people I knew and say hello and then at midday I have been invited to have lunch with Aoyagi san’s wife, we are talking about the things she can do with her life now, that is very good. I bring her a melon I have been given by my carpark landlord and we give it to Aoyagi san, an offering on his shrine, because, she says, he always liked expensive fruits. She gets a lot of telephone calls from people.

The next day will be the final day of Aoyagi san’s spiritual repose in the house and a priest will come and say prayers and conduct a ceremony. I think that it is a very good practice, this week of living with the spirit of the dead, because in that week you have a lot of time to be doing things with them and for them, something that is missing in a Christian ceremony, where after the funeral they are simply gone, there is a terrible void and no time to prepare for it. She asks me to stay for the afternoon while she is working and that is very nice. After that I go back to the village, I cannot stay for the ceremony. I will go back later in the week, I will take my tarot cards with me, because there is planning to be done for the living.

Fighting Spirit Fukushima

02 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Datsun, Fighting Spirit, Fukushima, Lehan Winifred Ramsay, Statue of Liberty

Lehan garden

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

When I lived in Hakodate I used to walk with my dog from my house on Mount Hakodate along a road to get to the ropeway, and on the other side of that was a vacant block of land with a stone wall and a bench. You could sit on that bench and look down the wide cobbled road at the temple and at the bottom of the hill the passing streetcar and beyond it the harbour and on the other side of the harbour the mountains.

You could get a beer from the ropeway kiosk and the bench became a bar with the best view in town. One day I took Takeshi, who was doing some part-time work for me, along with me and we sat on the bench while my dog grazed in the vacant lot and talked about the business we could make there. I wanted to make a pastizzi shop with a window for hot coffee and Takeshi thought it should have an inn as well, just four rooms for rent at the back, I think he’d read about an inn like that in a book once. But definitely keep the low stone wall and the bench.

Of course the vacant lot became occupied, it started to get trucks from the local souvenir seafood shops parking there. All those shops were down in the tourist sections and although they looked like different businesses they were mostly just the one and for some reason the trucks started to park up there on top of the hill. Then they built a two or three story square building there, the wall went, the bench went and this building went up.

But it seemed they felt they needed more visual presence than their cheaply built building and they put two things in front of it. An old Datsun car and a large statue of liberty.
It was smack in the middle of the old part of town with the churches and the old buildings and the locals really didn’t like the statue of liberty up there on the hill and they complained about it a lot. So much so that the company had to do something about it but instead of taking it down they hoisted up the statue of liberty and laid her down on her side on the roof and there she stayed for some time staring down at the people passing on the street.

People still complained. Then they decided to take her off the roof and hoisted her down to the ground and stood her up again. This time they put a big banner over her saying “Fighting Spirit Fukushima” and people were annoyed again. That has nothing to do with Fukushima, they said, you are just exploiting people’s troubles.

Then the shop went broke and they moved everything out and closed it down. They took away the little Datsun car but they left the big big statue of liberty standing there with her banner saying “Fighting Spirit Fukushima”. The people complained, and the City Hall complained. But the company said they were broke and so they did not have the money to take her away.

I took a photograph for you but it did not come out, it is a shame.

Here is a painting of my dog instead.

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