Tripe

The front bar of the Pig’s Arms was abuzz with the news that one of Rosie’s[1] girls had “come forward” with revealing and damning evidence relating to the Thompsen affair.[2]

A Mr Thompsen was a regular visitor to Rosie’s back room and was known to request the services of a Hooker.

John Lee Hooker

Miss Letoe is reported by usually ultra-reliable news sauces to have said that Mr Thompsen was often seen to “get it on” and “rock his socks off” in the company of another Hooker.

He seemed to prefer slide and sometimes bottleneck and was often participating in what he referred to as “walking bass” activities of an unspecified nature.

“Most of our ‘Johns’ – referring to their fondness for working with known recalcitrants loosely known as “John Thomas” – came in straight off the street but we bend them to our better purposes and send them slip-sliding away.  Short a little bit – and also short of their cash” said Miss Letoe, smiling sweetly.

“But this dude was different.  He was a no-cash, credit-card wielding man whose face revealed a worldliness beyond his years.  He must have been an old single guy – he was into the Grecian 2000 – more like 2020.  And no way could he have been married – I mean only a total dickwad married bloke would use a credit card to buy a hooker.  I mean, who else would go through his papers except his wife ?”

When asked how he came to Rosie’s, Miss Letoe corrected the reporter from news saying “No, he comes after he arrives – usually in a taxi.  I know I picked up the cabcharge chits when I was ironing his trousers”.

“And what line of business do you think Mr Thompsen was in ?”.

“He was in the art business.  He was always banging on about being framed and stuff, but if you ask me – and I gather you ARE asking me, I personally think he was as innocent as the driven snow.  I mean he was often saying that his friends in some nursing operation didn’t have a prayer”.

“He seemed to be a man of simple tastes – he brought the hotdog and we brought the buns”, said Miss Letoe.

“So what do you make of all the parliamentary allegations circulating ?”

“I think they’re mostly tripe” said Miss Letoe.

“So HSU has no resonance for you ?”

“Sure, I seem to recall that he is a card-carrying member of the Highly-Sexed Ungulates”.

“Bull !”

“Precisely”