Today the Festival of Sydney Ticket sales opened.  Or they are alleged to have opened.

Today I tried unsuccessfully for two hours to buy tickets to the Festival of Sydney.

Phones….  just rang through…. or gave a message that they are overloaded and to call back  later.

Luckily we have the web site ….. ahahahahahaha …

So when I logged in and waited for the site to open at 9:00 – and got in the queue to buy a 5 event multi-ticket (value over $1,000 for – FM and me and a couple of our Sydney mates) at 9:02.  I sat and watched my browser update every 30 seconds for OVER TWO HOURS.

Point A.    Then ….. Eureka.  Lucky me !  I’m in, Yay !  Click on John Malkovich – just a pic and some words.  No booking.  Hit continue.  Can’t continue.  Go back.

Point B Try JM’s second show.  Aha ! Tickets.  Select A Reserve.  Select 2 tix.  Sorry, due to overloading, please try to submit the request again.

Web cleverly forgets the class of ticket and the number wanted.  Enter that again, and again and again…. No wonder the site is melting down.  The design is stupid beyond belief.

So – try another show – Smoke and Mirrors at the Spiegel tent (see last year’s review at https://pigsarms.com.au/2010/02/03/not-extremely-festive-this-year-my-fault/ )

Go Back to Point A.

How about Paul Kelly ? Go Back to Point A.

“My bicycle loves you “? Go Back to Point A.

Phillip Glass ? Go Back to Point A.

Emmylou Harris ?  Go Back to Point A.

Emmylou Harris again ?

OK, you’re good to go.  We’ve reserved two tickets for you – for twenty minutes.

Go back to Point B No, you’ve got to be kidding.  Go Back to Point A.

Time’s running out fast on the two tickets I do “have” so head for the checkout just in case.

“Sorry you can’t check out because you don’t have anything in your shopping trolley !

So I just gave up !

I can understand that the Festival is massively popular.  But this is no surprise.  It’s not the first festival.  It’s been going for thirty or forty years for Pete’s sake.  2011 would have been our fifth in a row.  And thanks to the wonders of web technology we now have a virtually unlimited array of ways to NOT go to the Sydney Festival.

Moreover, why is it impossible to scale the ticket selling websites to meet this huge spike in demand – or maybe just let people say what they want and process the orders first in, first out and get back to punters with an offer.  We can seat you here ….. want it or not ?

But getting people to sit online for hours, trusting that their internet connection or browser session has not secretly gone guts up – is just bullshit.

I simply do not understand the point of festival multi-tickets.  If you buy for three events, you are supposed to get a 10% discount and for 5 events, a 15% discount.  That is, if you can navigate the mess that is laughingly called the ticketing system.  What is the point of offering discounts when the ticket lines are a mile long ?  I suppose for one of the more expensive tickets, ten bucks or fifteen bucks off is a good deal – but not if you have to line up for hours to get it – maybe, maybe not.

Moreover, why the hell does the ticket office open on a Monday when many people are supposed to be at work ?  What’s wrong with opening it on a Saturday – that way punters would have the whole weekend to waste, lining up.

Somebody out there does have a clue !  The Opera House Emailed us directly offering Malkotix.  Snavelled two.       Main event covered and looking forward to seeing him in the flesh – after the wonderful Steppenwolf production at STC a few months ago by his Chicago colleagues.

Now – anyone for Paul Kelly – the hard way ?

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