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Merv – upon returning to the carpark and finding that some prat has keyed his beloved Jag.

.... before the incident ....

Bugger ME !

How many are my foes who with keychain fob

Come forth and scratch my trusted ride

And steal they next, my loved bride ?

But you, our Vinh Ordinaire Rouge

And Jail too, I beseech to remove your

Bronzed arses from the beach and go forth.

Smote these scoundrels and break their teeth

Wield with displeasure the justice sword

And the open bar tab shall be your reward.