Foodge swung the Zephyr into the car park at the Pig’s Arms, running at an impossible clip and sending a shower of discarded eyebrows and Brazilian wax imprints across the driveway. Reminding himself that Glenda should arrange for the Hair’em Scar’em waste removal and illegal dumpsters to do something about her overgrowing business refuse problem.
He removed the 8 track from its slot in the front wall of the Z mobile and reminded himself to book for ZZ Top set to play at the Pig’s Arms in the Nathan Rees Memorial Ballroom at the month of the end.
He scanned the lot for the usual suspect local urchins and noting nothing suspicious – itself a suspicious nothing, he locked the car, adjusted his Fourdoorer, paced the six steps through the side door of the pub and as if he lacked a car / sorry as if he lacked a care and took an urgently vacant chilled vinyl stool on the good side of the jukbox.
He cooked his heart, adjusted his flannels and looked expectorantly ant Mirf. Moive’s bar tab amnesia swept over him (Mirth, mainly, but also a litter offal Fodge) aird he pored the dick a drunk and containerd to swap dawn the bar.
“Harbor leave dart a sir tan expat airtist hazar plain ticket to come bark tudor pub in May. High over herd some loo shat why liar ah was gettingar hare cut indoor Pig Sleggs.
Wafer rom ? deksa vreM, stihl loo king in the ma raw.
“Libel leave some where hoover the rain barrel in Hokey Dokey. They men shined Harry Garto” sed egdooF, coal aps sing urn has peer.
Arm geld thart shezz calming bark two sed vreM.
“Sfuckin coald in Hokey Dokey” offered Flogged.
.deilper verM “erad revooh yrd tniap dluow yaw oN “

I love this. I now will never know if I would have immediately recognised what you’re on about, but I did. I think I do. Did. 🙂
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I’m sure you have, was, did, are 🙂
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My grandmother used to administer expectorant, when I had bronchial trouble as a child. I stayed with her on numerous occasions, when I had holidays from boarding school── Java was a long way to travel in those days. I spoke with difficulty during a bout of bronchitis. So I sympathise with Foodge and Merv, who obviously suffered likewise.
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No I could not figure that last line…..any translation, emmjay?
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Read it from right to left. No way would …
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On the third reading I got it all. But now all has been revealed. Very clever though.
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Sorry, Viv. I was being so hard on the readers. This clearly a limit on how feral a piece should be 🙂
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Actually I was trying not to sound too smart – I got it the second time !
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Pardon?
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Perhaps Foodge has a”Spaniard In The Works”.
Perhaps we should call in the “several dwarts or cretins; all named – Sleezy, Grumpty, Sneezy, Dog, Smirkey, Alice? Derick – and Wimpey.”
I think they’ve been where Foodge is right now.
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Whoooaaaah! We’re not in Kasas any more, Toto! Did someone slip LSD in morning tea or what? Or did I just lose my babel fish?
😉
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Yo, but no, but yeah but no. :-
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Reminds me of the wonderful book les stalk strine.
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Which reminds me of the north-eastern English book, “Larn Yersel Geordie”, on which I suspect the ‘strine’ book was modelled.
🙂
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“ark at ee!”
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Yes, it was written by a Dutchman!
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Afferbeck Lauder was the author, he also wrote Nose Tone Unturned, Fraffly Well Spoken and Fraffly Suite .
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Yes, but not that well-organised 🙂
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Well y navre soot dis wud affer sie de lite of dee, cupurp lekuase, iefan if y saa so myzelf. wel dun!
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I is no Aussie; translations to Finnish, Swedish, Dutch, German, Italian or Spanish please…
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Helps if you say it aloud. Just a start.
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I’d settle for English, Helvi…
😉
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Poor Foodge, caught in some M.C Escherish world, or has Merv dragged him into a parallel universe. Shit, I dunno.
Nice work, EmmJay, but, is it Satanic if you play it backwards?
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I never did any other, never did any other, never did any other.
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Devil never even lived.
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Vectis Lad,
Plenty of ‘devils’ are living here and there and they are making life a hell for other people.
Did you see Ted Lapkin on Insight, he was actually quite amusing in a kind of mad fashion. He looked a bit ‘devilish’
🙂
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My palindrome was just an acknowledgement of Big’s Satanic reference.
And yes I saw Lapkin; a huge disappointment since I like the way he writes (not necessarily, his content). He’s clear and articulate.
He looked like a demented ventriloquist’s dummy, on insight, and kept interrupting.
I don’t kn ow what to think of that episode. But Jennie Brockie is just fantastic. I’m a huge fan.
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I like Brockie too.
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