Tags
Calgon, Gina, Rupert Murdoch, scum, Tony Abbott, Twiggy Forrest
You know what I hate. What I really, really hate ?
What’s worse than soap scum that builds up in the shower ?
Answer: The substances only slightly less toxic than nuclear waste or hexavalent chromium (look that up Orica plant neighbours or Erin Brockovitch deniers) – namely supermarket products that boast they can remove soap scum with NO SCRUBBING.
This is complete and utter bullshit. No such substance exists nowadays. Go ahead, scrub your arms off, disappointed punters. Then check yourself into the respiratory department of the local hospital until you grow some lung lining back.
I think, as an act of faith, that if civilisation can invent soap, designed to get rid of dirt, it behoves an industry the size of six or seven Greek economies, sorry, make that nine Greek economies by the time you’ve finished this sentence, to invent a substance to get rid of soap and dirt – or scum to you.
Now, I recall in my salad days there used to be a substance that was supposed to be really good for this purpose. By accident, the manufacturers or their advertisers discovered that the water softener “Calgon” was an ace remover of soap scum build up in washing machines.
Which is why you can’t find it on the supermarket shelves any more. Too convenient, I suppose. Too effective and likely to prevent the sale of a humungous mountain of ersatz soap removers.
So I googled “Calgon” and found a plethora of Wiki info, including stuff like it was invented in 1933, and the formula was changed so that the phosphates didn’t screw up wastewater treatments, probably completely neutering the product, but the only answer to “Wheredoyagettit?” was a five year old reference to Tesco selling it in the home of hard water – namely the UK.
But cop this, lucky punters, the Pig’s Arms research department (ever on the lookout for cleaning products that will enhance the flavour of Trotter’s Ale) have found a Calgon supplier in St Kilda Melbourne. Get right over there, Ato…..
And they have “companion products for ladies” – including “Morning Glory Shower Gel” – a snip at $5.47 – postage and handling $13.53 (I kid you not). I thought morning glory was one of Brkon’s responsibilities – but there you go.
In case you think this is a bit limited, they can offer you “Hawaiian Ginger Body Mist” and “AHH Spa Intensive Tropics Body Scrub”. Where would we be without marketing boffins ?
Wait ! Did you just read the word “scrub” ? Oh my, my, my. The decline of product effectiveness. Right here. Right before your eyes. I’m sorry to report, folks that it falls to us to remain nose to the Mondrian Brothers’ tiles, scrubbers to the individual.
Footnote: Come on. No fibbing. How many of us thought this piece was about Rupert Murdoch, Gina Rhinegold, Twiggy Forrest or Tony Abbott ? I thought so.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
Buggered if I know what you lot are talking about. There isn’t a spot of soap scum anywhere to be seen around the Ato house! The stuff that might remain on the shower glass screen does not do so if, immediately after the shower we wipe it with the face washer especially dutied for that task.
Hardly ever have a bath any more. (Used to when we first installed the bubble maker thingy but no more)
As for the odd taste of Trotters ale, well, I never drink the stuff and if I did, I’d guzzle down a shot or two of ouzo to wash the oddity of the taste away. Ouzo is one of the best cathartics there is. Don’t need no Calgon and certainly no Aboot, nor Howard, nor none of them other scum.
Oh, and thanks very much ABC 4 corners! Shitty program last night but it’ll send the fantasy-polls for the ALP diving even further! One could well be excused for thinking that this organisation needs an even more vigorous scrubbing session than do our baths and dunnies!
We’ve used vinegar on the odd occasion.
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I think ABC wants Abbott…
I couldn’t watch Q&A either, such a boring lot of people, and Tony did not ask Mann anything, so he was just quietly amused when that silly IPA boy was shouting, what was the point of the comedian sitting there, I ask…
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The comedian is a mindless nincumpoop but he votes Labor so I excuse his idiocy for this program since the whole program was for idiots. Kroger, though, is an even bigger idiot, still clappering on about “individual responsibility” (until it hits them and then they ask for more aid from the poor. She couldn’t work out the oxymoron in her own statement about means testing. “Ya gotta means test students, in case they’ve got rich parents but ya can’t means test the rich when it comes to health, education, taxes, mining giants, banks…”
They just can’t get their heads around the term, “justice for all,” these Libs -or they simply pretend not to get it!
Manne was completely drowned by the bullshit and, I think, just gave up and tried to enjoy the farce. Probably what I would have done too.
Jenny McAllister, unfortunately was also not her usual sharp, articulate, quick-responding self.
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As we’re talking about scrubbin’ here…were not they a poorly behaved heap of bush bound misfits. Tony interrogating that young woman whose articulate self seemed to have (already previously) deserted her had it ever been installed. ‘You know’…’ah’…short of ‘um. Mikey was ill at ease, nay seemed nerve ridden poor man. Manne was gentle, inoffensive. I would have read the poem better than the chap from The Chasers…and felt a rush of incredulity I have no income to call an income, that feeling I detest. If this is the standard, what delusions have I laboured under ever imagining there is life out there. It was awful. The audience seemed as bored or tranquiilised with vets darts.
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And, to top it off, Tony had the great idea of making everyone else continue with the idiotic doggerel-smithing, well after the Gina’s crap was extricated!
Shocking stuff Q&A, bloody insulting stuff!
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I aint scrubbin’ no tiles to brown nose nobody for nothin’.
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Nothing like a good scrubber.
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And nothing better than a good scrubbing tale.
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If it’s about Gina, Tony and Abbott, then baking soda is not effective enough, we need to fill the bath with turpentine or bleach…
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Sulphuric acid would work wonders.
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I’m still waiting (8 months now 🙂 ) to find out what Abooot’s gonna do, that frightens you so much Helvi.
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I think I can help here, VL. When Tony was Health Minister, he peaked at banning that morning-after anti-abortion drug – until the women in his party threatened a revolt – and the High Court let him off the hook by saying that he had exceeded his powers. His Catholicism got in te road of his civic duty. He is an obvious dyed in the wool misogynist and how any woman with half a brain could vote for him beggars belief in my book.
Was a devotee of Bob Santa Maria – whom I’m sure you will remember was a splitter from the ALP – forming the Democratic Labour Party – which robbed Labor of more than one election by splitting the working class vote along religious lines. So I for one am genetically totally opposed to Tony for recent and past crimes.
More than all of those objections is that I knew him as a student politician (with Malcolm Turdbull) in the 1970s at Sydney Uni. This was the anti-Vietnam moratorium days. Tony was an ardent supporter of the government of the day -when Fraser was running the show – and therefore a supporter of the war. He was a clueless arsehat then with no real policy agenda beyond gaining power and holding it. Nothing has changed in the last 40 years, in this regard. Still a power for power’s sake arsehat in my book.
Name one of Tony’s policies – too slow – he’s changed it by now ! Too dumb, too autocratic, too negative and too self-interested to run Australia.
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VL, I don’t want a fishmonger as my PM.
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Or a fruit packer or bad bricklayer.
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This is ground hog day. You answered the same thing on her behalf, last time.
It’s a wonder that she hasn’t learned it–after your careful grooming.
No I’ve not heard, or can’t remember Bob SM.
A misogynist? Because of his Catholicism…..mmmm ..Maybe? Or maybe just following his (ridiculous) faith-like Rudd.
Of course he may have matured now and be The PM, that we have to have. Julia is hopeless. A solicitor: a trained liar.
Yup, not enough ammo to put me off. Rather him than Bill Ludwig.
——————–
Digressing; I’m watching the 54th Grammy Awards. Who thre hell is Adele. She has just won song of the year-and accepted the trophy, sobbing in an English accent.
Gawd, I’m out of touch.McCartney’s on now, playing piano and singing Golden Slumbers, You’ve gotta carry tat weight.
Glen Campbell has been on too
All good!
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Wow, McCartney has got every guitarist ion the world on stage now! Gotta go.
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VL – Santamaria was before your time in Australia. He had his own TV show and gave us a long rant on politics every week. There are more lawyers in the Liberal party you know. They have no ex business people to speak of by the way. All lawyers or political hacks. The one thing they have in common is ability to lie.
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So I Julia is a solicitor, trained liar what does tha make 80% of the Liberals in the Parliament given they’re all solicitors.
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Haven’t heard ‘arsehat’ in a while!
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VL, what are you talking about, I did answer you…
I was just a bit late because I was doing a spot of paving in the backyard…I bet you and Abbott are much better pavers than me… 🙂
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Jesus gave the title of fisherman to Peter.
And @ Algy Jesus was a Carpenter (a builder) 🙂
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Anyways, youse lot have thrown your lot in with Bill Ludwig–so nothing that you can ever do, or say, can let me take your views seriously. He is a blight in this world.
Off to meet the removalists at Fort Knox…Dunno where we’re gonna put everything? My Mum’s garage I s’pose.
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Yes thank you vectis, Yes I know Jesus was a carpenter. :p
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Chux Magic Erasers do just that. No spray, no paste, no goo, no smell, no scrubbing – no soap scum. What with microfibre cloths, chemical household cleaners are practically eliminated.
I ♥ the 21st Century.
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Suggested full title:
The Scum of The Earth – How to Lighten Up
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These didn’t work very well at Maison de FM and Emm. Maybe we have extra stubborn filthy scum.
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There’s the problem right there. Because assuming we’re talking about a standard hard surface, that’s physically impossible for soap scum. Your scum must have absorbed into the surface.
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Voice, do you love cleaning…thank god Gez took to vacuuming when my hand was in plaster…he can keep doing it forever.
You even put hearts in your post about cleaning, wow!
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I seem to remember borax being very good.
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It’s excellent for killing ants, Big !
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baking soda. removes all scum from this earth, when applied wet to the power inlet of your computer.
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Good one Lehan.
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Forget the soda, Lehan. Just bring a shot of ouzo within olfactory range to the puter and it will it be cleaned good ‘n propa!
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