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Borrowed with thanks from Private Eye

Borrowed with thanks from Private Eye

Story by Manne

“No, fuck it.  She’s far better off dead”, said Jayell.

“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it”, Merv replied.

“Come on, she was the complete bastard.  She waged war on the working class in Britain.  She destroyed the union movement.  She cut welfare. She privatised everything that moved and a lot of things that didn’t move”    Said Jayell, who was removing a very large volume of bile from his liver and was starting to accelerate into the home stretch.

“She deregulated the financial sector”, Added Emmjay, helpfully.

“She led Britain through the greatest period of post WW II expansion”‘ said Gez.

“Yeah, and she ordered the deaths of how many hundred Argies on the General Belgrano ?” said Jayell. “She was a fuckin’ Mussolini in pearls and twinset”.

“But she did lead Britain out of her doldrums and she created a generation of entrepreneurs out of an unemployed hoard with a belief system of entitlement without contribution or effort” added Gez.

“You know what used to piss me off more than anything else, was her arrogance, inflexibility and smugness – like these were the only qualities a leader needed.  She ran the whole country like the fucking corner shop of her childhood.  Cash, profit and hang the poor.  Sweep up, keep it neat.  Keep sweeping up.  I made it through sheer hard work so everyone in Britain has to do it my way.  She was a countess all right – an effing countess”, said Jayell.

“Baroness, actually” said Merv.

“No, she had a couple of kids” said H.

” I dunno”, said Merv “is there a time to bury the hatchet when a great leader – whether you agreed with them or not – kicks the bucket ?”

“Bury what hatchet ? said Granny, late to the party, but bearing a massive welcome tray of wedges.

“Probably should ask the wife of an unemployed coal miner whose kids went hungry” said Emmjay.