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Arturo Sinister Demons, Chikka Kerryovski, Colin Peters, Eddie O'Bad, Gez, granny, Greiner, H, Hung, Ivan Milhat, Manne, Merv, Obie 'One Barrel" Fatobie, Peter Snidearse, Sir Lunchalot, the Rodent, Viv, Voice
Story by Emmjay, Photo borrowed with undying thanks from the Canberra Times.
“But he was one of the better NSW premiers,” said Voice.
“That’s a load of cobblers” said Gez. “His mates are up to their tits in it”.
“Not a chance of being up to my tits”, said Viv, adjusting her polo neck.
The usual suspects were having a quiet one or fifteen in the main bar of the Pig’s Arms and the ABC was re-running an interview (if you could call it that) of Robbie Robertson repeating over and over and over some horseshit about three cabinet ministers and one premier gone already and three more sitting members to face ICAC after Easter. And “This has nothing to do with a bottle of wine. It’s got everything to do with the untrustworthiness of the Liberal Party, blah, blah, blah. And I’m not going to draw any comparisons with anyone on this side of politics who has made a career out of corrupt behaviour and scored top billing at ICRAP”.
Arturo stirred his 1959 Grunge with a finger previously dipped in Granny’s wedges sauce – for that extra bit of piquancy. He looked piqued, for sure. And he could have easily landed the lead role in Baz Luhr’s upcoming pulp movie ‘The Piquinese Falcon’. Sinister, didn’t raise his eyes above the rim of the glass when Hung demanded to know where he got the Grunge.
“I don’t remember”, said Arturo. “Wot, so the label embossed with ‘Compliments of the O’Bad Empire’ is no clue ?” inquired Hung. Manne emerged from the cellar in the Greiner of time and added helpfully “I remember the Grunge, Mr Demons”. That was the one that Merv had lying under his bed for a rainy day and he lost it in a poker game with Sir Lunchalot. I dropped it off at your place on the way home, and you scribbled a note that I delivered to Mr O’Bad. It said “Not half O’Bad, many thanks, the Rodent”. “I thought it was very funny, Mr Demons.
“I don’t remember” said Arturo. The juke box was playing the Beatles’ “Baby said she’s drivin’ on the one after 59”. “That reminds me”, said Manne, “Is (former) Justice Sin Minefield out of the slammer yet ?” “Nope said Gez, it’s getting pretty crowded in the P-wing library out at the Bay”. “Is it true that Ivan Milhat and Peter Snidearse asked to be moved out to avoid the corrosive influence – or more likely the smell of bent politicians ? I mean – even psychopathic killers have standards”.
“Most likely” said H (who was renowned for thinking the best of even the most obviously evil criminals). “I’m given to believe that they adored their mothers and were kind to sparrows”, she added.
The acoustically-enhanced Pig’s Arms car park gravel gave up its customary crunchiness under the weight of a huge white NSW government Falcon piloted by Chikka Kerryovski and Colin Peters. Obie, One Barrel Fatobie, rolled out of the back seat onto the deck trailing about a half a canteen of cutlery from the back of his commodious jacket. The other half of the canteen was in the Kent street lunchroom – lacking almost all the knives.
The entourage entered the side door of the pub and took up the more comfortable seats in the ladies lounge. “I had a serious memory failure” said Obie One. “Thank Cripes for that”, said Arturo, who had been wondering whether the Cook’s River was going to give up more flotsam. More in the shape of a Sinister Demon, he was thinking.
“GEEZUSS”, said Hung, holding a rather tired napkin over his nose. “Someone must be cleaning out the grease trap in the Ladies Lounge”. “There IS no grease trap in the Ladies Lounge, said Manne in his ever-helpful way”.
“For some reason I feel like a felafel” said Gez. “You must be kibbehing me” said Hung “I’m smelling the overwhelming stench of hypocrisy. “How can you hommusly think of Foodge at a time like this ?”
“I feel awful”, said Voice. “Our good ship NSW is without a rudder”.
“Perhaps” said Gez. “But there’s no shortage of ballast”.
Tabouleh continued ……
algernon1 said:
There’s a lot more to play out here. I wonder who leaked the wine to the press. I wonder how Mike Baird managed to get installed as Premier. I wonder how long he’ll last Will Di Girolamo claim two premiers? I suspect Baird might not last until the next election.
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Hung One On said:
Is Di Girolamo gay?
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algernon1 said:
No he’s not as far as I know. But he is a product of a school that is adroit in producing practising arseholes.
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warrigal said:
He was also a young Liberal. A vituperative bunch of embryo emperors if ever there was one. As for his time at Kings, I wonder if he was there during the time Buggery Jones taught bumbawazzarology, oh and trained the First Fifteen.
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algernon1 said:
Di Girolamo went to St Pats at Strathfield. I wonder whether Baird was at Kings at the same time as the boy lover. O’Farrell on the other hand has only ever worked for the Liberal party, so something as simple as bottle of wine has bought him undone. How did it get leaked to the press.
I was talking with my well connected Liberal mate last night. There’s more to play here and it all revolves around his directorship appointment. The Liberals have erred badly here. They should have put Gladys there instead. My guess is that Baird wont make the next election as Premier and Di Girolamo will claim him as well.
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Warrigal said:
Baird Jnr voted against same sex marriage and stem cell research. He does not believe in AGW, which is not surprising because he surfs with the Worry From Warringah, another famous denialist.
He is what the Very Rev. Gordon Smee of honoured memory would have called a “muscular Anglican”. Roughly translated that means that he’d rather fight than change his mind or the subject.
Another god botherer at the helm.
What is it about Australian politics that attracts the second rate, many of them no account suburban solicitors like Fatty O’Barrel, and too many of them like Baird Jnr., thinking that their christianity licenses them to force their narrow views on the rest of us.
I suppose the best I can say about young Baird is that he’s less than he appears, offering hope that he won’t get it too muddled before he’s dumped for the next lizard in line.
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sandshoe said:
That one that’s flat out drinking …
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gerard oosterman said:
There is a lot more to this bottom of the barrel.
NSW….43 premiers
QLD….38 premiers
SA…..45 premiers
TAS….45 premiers
VIC….36 premiers
WA…..29 premiers
———————–
Total.. 236 premiers.
Not one female Liberal premier ever…
Clearly a boys club denying females the same status.
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algernon1 said:
Baird is the new Premier, Gladys the deputy. The Greens will now go after him for parachuting him into a directorship. Gladys may have been the smarter choice.
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helvityni said:
I think that too, and not just because she is a woman…
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gerard oosterman said:
Someone suggested that Abbott’s ‘broad church’ actually means ‘a bloke’s church’. Broads not welcome.
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gerard oosterman said:
You would not get the labor party demonising pensioners in order to get the budget in surplus.
Hockey: The days of ‘entitlements’ are over. The liberals are now trying to get society to harass pensioners over their 50c cup-o-tea at the community centre or the one dollar scratchy they might sometimes squander.
I really think there should be an embargo on male politicians for a few years and give females a free run like they (males) have had.
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sandshoe said:
I dunno about ‘the labor party wouldn’t’. Honestly I survived a Labour Party in New Zealand that did not have too many scruples about who was sacrificed to bring the country to a surplus. The cost as it affected me in a cross fire was critical. Just because they did not tear dollars out of the actual pension does not mean they did not tear dollars out of the hands of people who were at their most vulnerable. Who knows any more, Gez.
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gerard oosterman said:
So, there you go. I always held NZ in high esteem, ever since they took on the refugees from the Tampa some years ago. Weren’t they also the first to give women voting rights?
Politics is never an exact science is it. Yet, many people study political science.
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gerard oosterman said:
One has to conclude;
1. Women are not up to the job of being a premier. or…
2. The Liberal party is run by men for men and actively prevent capable women from the top job.
You would think that the law of averages would finally have a woman as a liberal premier. So, it has to be deliberate action by the party machine run by men for men.
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helvityni said:
I don’t know much about Berejiklian, but I suspect that as someone of Armenian heritage, she would be supporting improved education for all.
No, an absolute no for Pru, a woman or not.
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helvityni said:
…a bit sad really, I was the pleased when Barry O’Farrell was the first Premier to sign on Gonski.
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algernon1 said:
Transport Helvi, she’s the one building the toy train to Rouse Hill.
Goward has put her hand up for Deputy as has mummy’s boy Anthony Roberts. Both will be destabilising.
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gerard oosterman said:
As for the Liberal party being an abusive boys club. As far as I know, Australia’s history has not thrown up any female Liberal state Premier. Odd, isn’t it? There have been a couple of Chief woman ministers though.
It is clearly a party for the big boys. I can just see them around the barbecue dressed in shiny blue shorts, ramping up diatribe against refugees, women and other impediments to progress, while tugging at their dicks. Discussing football and bragging the latest root they (didn’t) had ( did not achieve being too pissed). Regaling the hilarious private school adventures around the dorms flushing Ernie’s head held down in the toilet.
Of course, the Grange Hermitage a logical conclusion, so much more decent and healthy than visits to massage parlours.
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hph said:
🙂
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sandshoe said:
What, mate. You only get unseated instead of losing your pants. OK.
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Voice said:
Top Five Reason why Nick di G handed in the note:
5. He has a deep-seated respect for Truth .
4. He naturally handed ICAC all papers related to politicians and sums of money over a thousand dollars in order to facilitate their enquiries.
3. He advertised its existence on his network and was paid off by a Lib O’Farrell rival.
2. He advertised its existence on his network and was paid off by a Lab backroomer.
1. Now everyone knows you don’t fuck with Eddie O’Beid.
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algernon1 said:
He went to school with Obeids boys. Its a factory that produces practising arseholes. My son played sport against them. They are taught to lie, cheat, poach anything to get ahead by dishonest mean,. the coaches active encourage it. On top of that the coaches are a condescending lot. My bosses sons go there, he’ll cheat on a quiz.
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Voice said:
I remember years ago in Sydney there was a big fuss about some kids caught cheating on uni entrance exams. There was a groundswell of support from some popular radio shows about how that’s the way things are in the Real World and how the kids showed real promise.
I think it’s endemic in Sydney thinking.
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helvityni said:
Support from shock jocks? I don’t understand why anyone would listened to them; I never have and never will…put them in big hessian bag and…
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Voice said:
No, not shock jocks. Just the usual popular radio babblers. Couldn’t tell you who or what station but I remember where I was when I first heard it – driving across the Sydney Harbour bridge.
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Hung One On said:
algy, are you a big A or a little a over at the Dumb?
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algernon1 said:
yes hung, little is some nazi arsehole.
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Hung One On said:
I sometimes read your replies and am not sure if it is you.
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algernon1 said:
HOO I don’t sprout right wing rubbish anyhow a complaint to the mods and they seemed to have gone away.
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algernon1 said:
Guess what the little a is back sprouting loony rubbish. Only on public holidays when they are short staffed I suppose.
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Voice said:
I’ve got it! Arturo Sinecuros. Obvious really.
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Hung One On said:
So do actually have anything to say?
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Big M said:
Good one, Voice. Very neat.
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Voice said:
Thanks mate. Eaten any good pizzas lately?
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Big M said:
Yes, and Yes!
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helvityni said:
I have an idea the Liberals are discussing the choice between Baird and Berejiklian (?).
Let’s have Baird, an easy name and he’s a bloke after all…
Do we really want a bird with a hard to spell and pronounce name…has she even got papers…
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Hung One On said:
Baird invented TV didn’t he?
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helvityni said:
I thought he studied to be a priest, just like Abbott, but decided that banking and politics was more profitable…I think they’ll make him our Premier; I think he’s one of Abbott’s boys.
I believe that O’Farrell was better than most of the Liberals.
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Big M said:
Baird is of ‘good’ Anglican stock, no Catholic priests there.
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helvityni said:
Anglican/Catholic, whateva, it’s all same to me, Sarah Ferguson gave him no mercy, good on her…I hope she will stay on 7.30…
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gerard oosterman said:
Yes, and all that when on 2nd of May the momentous occasion of getting my ‘flexible’ teeth arriving from the dental technician in Goulburn.
I gave the implants a miss. A confusing world of different opinions and the cost no matter where or how, seemed astronomical.. Possible bone implants and ‘seeding’ bits of a thigh onto a jaw etc… Far out!
No give me a good premier resignation spectacle any time.
Prue Goward? Is that what we might have to look forward to in our declining chairs?
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Big M said:
It’ll be hard to chew, with your thigh fused to your jaw.
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helvityni said:
Talking about being kind to sparrows, it should not go so far as to make our little sparrow- like Pru our Premier…
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helvityni said:
..funny, but so is Berekjilian…bird-like, I mean.
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helvityni said:
sorry, Berejiklian..never learnt any Armenian.
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algernon1 said:
Are you sure helvi, her parents are Armenian, Armenians will do whatever it takes to preserve their culture and language. I suspect more so than most ethnic groups. Sports, scouting even churches. A bus buddy is of Armenian extraction and whilst he and his wife speak English in the family they haven’t lost the ability to speak it. Their kids learn the language at school, go to Armenia at in year 10, play for an Armenian soccer team. The kids are at least third generation
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helvityni said:
Algernon, sorry about putting it clumsily, I meant that I had never learnt Armenian, as a weak excuse for not getting her name right. I’m sure Gladys is fluent in Armenian and many other languages as well, people from those countries usually are multi-lingual.
They value education…
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algernon1 said:
It’s why she got into politics. Metherill that rouge tory shut down schools willy nilly, some of which will need to be reopened,
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Voice said:
Yeah. “Those countries.” WHICH countries she wonders out loud.
I live in an area with a large Armenian community. They are mostly of good peasant stock. My son was good friends with a lad from an Armenian family. His father ran a little petrol station and the lad was crazy about Formula One racing. He failed a grade at school much to the discredit of the teachers I feel – nothing slow about him.
I was told that those trips “home” in late high school were partly about arranged marriages – sometimes causing contention with Sydney born girls. That was back in the 1990s.
Multilingual? Nup. But the middle-aged and younger ones spoke English.
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helvityni said:
We must move in the different circles, my Armenian friends all speak many languages, the Australian born children less, but even they all still speak Armenian.
Many, most, of the Greek, Croatians, even the Germans and the Dutch often send their kids to learn more of they parents languages at the special Saturday morning schools. My Hungarian friends, whose parents are migrants still speak Hungarian,my kids kids can speak Dutch, but know only few Finnish words: Perkele, Saatana etc. etc.
I have no numbers on this, I’m just talking about what I have found out having many friends from many different backgrounds, anecdotal like your post.
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gerard oosterman said:
The literacy rate in Armenia is 99.6% with a rank of 19 out of 194.
I doubt there are many Armenian peasants or if there are they are likely to be professors or scientists.
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algernon1 said:
My bus buddy (Armenian) was in Armenia recently, like January this year, he gave me this observation. It is certainly no his first trip there. They are a third world country who like to think they are a first world country and try to live on a first world income with third world wages. The place is riddled with corruption. As he pointed out they may be literate but most of them appear to be shysters.
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Voice said:
Frankly gerard you have absolutely no idea whatsoever what you’re talking about. Firstly, quite a lot of Armenian immigration didn’t come from Armenia. Secondly, … Forget it. It’s no skin off my nose what you want to believe about my local Armenian community and if you think googling a literacy rate fact gives you a better insight.
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gerard oosterman said:
And Australia is corruption free?
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algernon1 said:
Gez I think your missing the point. The bus buddy and the others live here and have no intention of ever living there. My guess is that the visits is to impart some of the culture and to demonstrate how lucky they are to live where they do. Of course there’s corruption here but there is also a rule of law
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gerard oosterman said:
Most people that live here have no intention of living somewhere else, including Armenian migrants. That’s not proof or worth or value of a country. I knew two Armenian girls, both highly educated, spoke many languages. I remember, how after they found a room to share in Kings Cross, the first thing they bought was a piano. They were both accomplished pianists. I am sure many Armenians are happy in Armenia as are Australians in Australia or Argentines in Argentina, Colombians in Colombia
Apart from that I know Armenia has an old and very interesting culture. I am not sure if they are fond of workers clubs, big brick veneer houses or casinos as we are here.
Different strokes for different folks.
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algernon1 said:
Except the bus buddy is second or third generation, his kids a generation on.The trips about the maintaining of culture. Nothing else.
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Voice said:
Of all places to make a crack about big brick veneer houses. Armenia! Is it even possible to be that insensitive, or you just never read the news. What next? You’re not sure whether Somalians are fond of roast lamb with all the trimmings?
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Hung One On said:
Good stuff boss, you are on a roll
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Thanks, Hung 🙂
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algernon1 said:
Beautifully written Emm, I love the damage control by the Liberal aligned. Lateline last night was worth a watch. It had the usually insipid Gerard Henderson and Kate McKlymot fro the SMH on. Gerard H was on the attack and literally called Kate a liar. Integer blah blah blah. Kate who attends ICAC daily would be more in tune the Gerard H. He looked a goose as he dug the hole deeper and deeper.
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vivienne29 said:
It is darn good isn’t it Algy. Gerard was close to a sobbing mess. He was so upset. He forgot that it was Barry who resigned on his own accord. No one sacked him.
For all the Libs’ ‘integrity, honesty and blahblahblah’ – just imagine if roles were reversed and it was a Labor Premier. They’d be jumping with glee and yelling corrupt, dishonest blahblahblah.
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algernon1 said:
Imagine indeed vivienne. Gerard was bullying Kate and she just looked on bemused. He reputation was greatly diminished as a result.
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Voice said:
The guy KEPT the note.Why, FFS? Obviously for Nefarious Purposes.
One of your best, Emmjay.
I was just dong some light reading over at the Daily Tele “Nick Di Girolamo plays his trump card” and I see he was at one time a managing partner of a law firm. Figures.
The name of the firm is (was?) Colin Biggers and Paisley. I’m not insinuating anything about them but I think the name has promise.
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algernon1 said:
The bottle of wine is hardly a hanging offence its the manner in which O’Farrell denied it.
Nic D was parachuted onto the board of the organisation I work for by Barry, the captains pick so to speak on 3x what everyone else on the board was receiving. To suggest that my colleagues and I weren’t just a bit pissed off would be an understatement. You see he replaced someone else who was parachuted in by Labor who was parachuted in. but for a lot less.
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Voice said:
Obviously. Shades of the judge and the speeding fine.
Of course, it’s not just the denial it’s what it might be hiding.
Everyone knows the world runs on jobs/favours for mates. It’s done at all levels; sometimes it’s good for business, sometimes it’s harmless and sometimes it really hurts. That’s the problem with getting rid of it really, that it’s pervasive and it’s a continuum. Government and big business try to deal with one aspect of it by having rules that jobs are publicly advertised and that’s just really frustrating applying for a position that you find out later had been earmarked in advance.
At the big end of town the stakes get bigger. Being a continuum it’s hard to draw the line. We see the O’Beid situation is grotesquely illegal, we see the bosses’ girlfriend getting a promotion and resent it but accept it as business as usual.
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algernon1 said:
And look how that turned out. He could have copped the fine and moved on but no he chose to fight it and jailed as a result.
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Thanks, Voice. I think it was Ronnie Corbett who invented the Law Firm Name of “Martin, Barton and Farrrrrrrrgo”. All time great.
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Googlehoover said:
A friend of mine who worked for “Freehill, Hollingdale and Page” used to call the firm “Free-meal Holiday and Wage”
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Big M said:
Funny that, old mate, Nick sold his Sydney waterfront home for 4.8 mill, yesterday!
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algernon1 said:
Perhaps to pay his mounting legal costs.
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Big M said:
Very droll, Mr Jones, but, do you think the Conalition will get it?
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Therese Trouserzoff said:
Thanks, Big. When life is more bizarre than fiction. There we has it ! As Ned said “Such IS life” (My Emphasis :-))
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