Late Barking News

Our Pig’s Arms “Over the Horizon” news scout, Manne le Trenches, reports today that in an atmosphere of rising tension with former super power and general tough bastard Russia, following the Putanians sending warships to Australia (for the kind of military exercises America likes to do around places they might want to invade any minute now), fearless Australian minnow  leader Tony “feel my pecs” Abbott has instructed the Minister for Deference to re-arm Fort Denison.

The ADF is reportedly saving up the ferry fare to ship tonnes of sticks and stones to the fort in readiness for a protracted siege.

In other developments, negotiations are reportedly underway with Great Britain to put pressure on Moscow by releasing Rolf Harris into Muscovite care – on his own cognisance.

Sources close to the Kremlin (in the actual Kremlin, truth told) said “Oh NO !  not the fucking wobble board, anything but the wobble board !”

 The UN Security Council has been called to address an urgent motion to ban wobble-boarding.  The motion was apparently called by …. Russia.  And the Secretary of the Security Council ……. Australia …. was quoted as saying “Sorry, I was on holidays and I must have missed the Email.  I’ll get onto it when I get back in the office”.

A “Bay of Pig’s Arms” capitulation is anticipated at any moment.