Tuna
A nice pear
Hi, Hung here. Thought I would share with you one of my all time favorite pizza toppings. It’s tuna and pear, now no emesis will be entered into on this site however this is an original way that Italians would make pizza.
Okay we will get to the tin tacks in a minute however you need six beers and a shotgun and a cat.
[Cut, cut, stop here. Emmjay here, look Hung what do you have against cats for Gordon’s sake?
Nothing boss, just that they are good at intercepting bullets]
Okay, no fun then I guess so here’s the ingredients.
One pizza dough, rolled out onto a tray for baking in the oven. I know that most of you will all have your own method of making a pizza dough but this is my simple method for one pizza.
170 ml water
1 tbsp olive oil
half tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 and 3/4 cups of plain flour
1 tsp yeast
Now I use the dough cycle on my bread machine however if you want to do this by hand, whisk the water sugar and yeast in a bowl and stand for 5 minutes. Chuck in everything else and blend, then on to a floured surface and belt the fuck out of it for ten minutes. Let the dough rest till doubles or about 30 minutes which is enough time to shoot some cats.
Roll the dough out to suit your baking tray. I do this on baking paper. Prick the fuck out of it with a fork.
Okay now for the sauce which you can prepare in between shooting cats or torching your neighbors fence. It’s up to you.
Get a fry pan, add olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic for 2 minutes on medium. Add onion and continue. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, wine, oregano and basil and simmer gently. Add tinned tuna. Let cool.
Shoot a cat, drink more beers, call your neighbor and Islamophobic homosexual. In most cases you will be right. If the cops come deny any knowledge of anything. After the cops leave pierce the tyres of your neighbors car and then shoot their cat.
Spread the tuna sauce on the pizza base. Now add segmented pear around the pizza and top with cheese. The pear should be soft and ready to eat.
Cook in a hot oven for 15 minutes or so. This gives you time to kill more cats and drink more beers.
Enjoy. The pear becomes sweet like pineapple and the tuna provides salt. When Tutu first made this for me I thought she was crazy however it became one of my favorite pizzas. We got this recipe from an Italian cookbook that was printed in the 1950’s.
A pizza, well sort of…
Wonder what other recipes were in that 1950s cookbook.
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lol 🙂
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I want to complain.
I followed (most) of the instructions, drank a slab of beer, shot fifteen cats, and ended up with nothing but a hang over and the ire of local cat owners.
Where’s my fucking pizza?
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If you shot 15 cats then you have done the world a favour, well done Sister.
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Truth is we do have cats here – the odd feral one which walks along the front verandah at night – dark and out on the prowl – big and probably well fed on rabbits. Yes, cats can do rabbiting quite well.
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The best way to get rids of feral cats Viv is a bowl of anti-freeze. Lock up the precious pets and leave out a bowl of AF, apparently they drink it and it causes liver failure. One other method is panadol syrup, same action as AF.
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Thanks for the tip but one or two are okay especially when they knock off a rabbit. Years ago we had quite a lot and the noise some nights was awful. Think we might stick with the shotty.
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We shoot rabbits here.
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I have rabbits in my yard Viv and are keeping the grass down.To useful to shoot.
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Instead of using them with pizza, rabbits are good to roast, casserole, bbq or poach.
They can keep the grass down but they also like eating my herbs and some plants and trees. They pruned my grapevine to as high as they could reach and then they stood on a branch to go even higher. They’ve done a good job of pruning low hanging olive branches too. Lola occasionally gets one in the back yard and I’ve been known to swat a few with a long handled shovel (no good for eating after that!). The shotty gets some and then they all disappear. The whistling kites are getting plenty of tucker – they are working our paddock as a team (I think it’s mum, dad and three kids) – magnificent to watch.
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Are those birds here on the NSW coast Viv? As my family of rabbits expands I do wonder what will happen to them.
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They should be – very widespread according to my Field Guide of Aust Birds. How well they might attack your rabbits depends on how open your area is. They love trees but need open space or room.
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We have rabbits here too. I’ve seen them basking in the sun on a main road.
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They have had kids Ace and the little ones race across the front yard at 100 miles an hour. I guess dogs and foxes will keep them under control however in the mean time they are doing a good job keeping the grass down.
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Saw a Fox on the median strip of Epping road once. Big thing it was, too many rabbits, chooks and cats I suspect.
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I think I’d rather a sample of a tuna pizza before making a whole one. I can’t quite get the idea into my head.
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When Tutu first made this I thought she was mad. I really love the combination and to me it tastes great.
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Dough recipe much the same as mine but I use honey instead of sugar. Once the water and yeast etc has frothed, add flour and mix with wooden spoon. Cover and leave to rise. When risen I just hit down once and then shape into flat ball and then onto baking paper on big round tray and push out by hand. The point is, it does not need any kneeding bashing at all. It always rises and later cooks beautifully. Saves a lot of bother.
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200 ml of water btw. Enough flour to mix to a dough which is much less dense than a bread dough.
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Sounds great Viv, I will have to try it.
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Don’t think I’ve ever seen a cat pizza before.
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Lets hope for our sakes we never see one either.
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You have to know where they hide, and watch closely, I understand.
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Once you know where they are you call out “Come out with your paws in the air” just in case they have concealed weapons, then you shoot them. 🙂
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