A nice pear

Hi, Hung here. Thought I would share with you one of my all time favorite pizza toppings. It’s tuna and pear, now no emesis will be entered into on this site however this is an original way that Italians would make pizza.

Okay we will get to the tin tacks in a minute however you need six beers and a shotgun and a cat.

[Cut, cut, stop here. Emmjay here, look Hung what do you have against cats for Gordon’s sake?

Nothing boss, just that they are good at intercepting bullets]

Okay, no fun then I guess so here’s the ingredients.

One pizza dough, rolled out onto a tray for baking in the oven. I know that most of you will all have your own method of making a pizza dough but this is my simple method for one pizza.

170 ml water

1 tbsp olive oil

half tsp salt

1 tsp sugar

1 and 3/4 cups of plain flour

1 tsp yeast

Now I use the dough cycle on my bread machine however if you want to do this by hand, whisk the water sugar and yeast in a bowl and stand for 5 minutes. Chuck in everything else and blend, then on to a floured surface and belt the fuck out of it for ten minutes. Let the dough rest till doubles or about 30 minutes which is enough time to shoot some cats.

Roll the dough out to suit your baking tray. I do this on baking paper. Prick the fuck out of it with a fork.

Okay now for the sauce which you can prepare in between shooting cats or torching your neighbors fence. It’s up to you.

Get a fry pan, add olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic for 2 minutes on medium. Add onion and continue. Add tomatoes, tomato paste, wine, oregano and basil and simmer gently. Add tinned tuna. Let cool.

Shoot a cat, drink more beers, call your neighbor and Islamophobic homosexual. In most cases you will be right. If the cops come deny any knowledge of anything. After the cops leave pierce the tyres of your neighbors car and then shoot their cat.

Spread the tuna sauce on the pizza base. Now add segmented pear around the pizza and top with cheese. The pear should be soft and ready to eat.

Cook in a hot oven for 15 minutes or so. This gives you time to kill more cats and drink more beers.

Enjoy. The pear becomes sweet like pineapple and the tuna provides salt. When Tutu first made this for me I thought she was crazy however it became one of my favorite pizzas. We got this recipe from an Italian cookbook that was printed in the 1950’s.

A pizza

A pizza, well sort of…