Well there is a buzz around the Arms tonight, buzz, buzz, kabang! Sorry, that was a fly, anyway, Hung here, tonight Gordon is going to drop in with a special guest, unknown at this stage. Even I don’t know and I’m the author, well sort of. Now would I lie to you?
The door swings open and in walks Gordon, one of his magic tricks he loves, opening the door without touching the handle, bloody miracle worker that guy, hmm.
“Where’s ya guest?” asks Merv.
“He’s still in make up at this stage” replies Gordon.
“Wheeze was getting all excited, like the good old days”
“The good old days were actually pretty shitty but I’m glad you are excited, finally”
quips Gordon.
“So have you made him up yet Gordon?” enquires Angler.
“Hmm, now that you ask no, so I’ll do what the pollies do and create a distraction.”
Again, the front door opens but this time it’s a funny looking man in a cap with a black uniform.
“I’m Colonel Wilhelm Wafflekurgenburger from the Licker Licensing Board attached to the Inner Cyberian Pleece. My friends call me The Nasty. Your Licker Licence please.”
“So what about your enemies then, wadda they call you, Bozo the Clown?” calls Merv and much mirth displayed by the crew.
“They, my friend are all shall we say inconvenienced.”
Gulp! Never seen a character like this before at the Arms, must be the warming thingy.
Well Merv had never seen a licker licence before so he had no idea. Just when it was about to get a bit confrontational like, the patrons loading up their weapons, Gordon steps in.
“We don’t need a licence” chants Gordon as he waves his hand around the room.
“You don’t need a licence” says The Nasty.
“Why don’t you just leave”
“Yes, why don’t I just leave” and with that the Nasty packs up and scurries out the door.
“Gordon, out hero” cry the crew “drinks all round on Gordon”
Hung comes over to Gordon’s side “Gee, Gordon, that was some show, now what gizmo did you use?”
“Are you saying I’m not honourable Hungsie?”
“No, but none of this farce crap, okay!”
“Shit, it’s called a DOWOP(Drowns Out Waves of Other People) hence people
walking down the street singing Do Wop dah dah diddy Do Wop are trying to use the technique. Ten bucks in Start Wars at Space Mart, alters mind waves, useful at times anyway it’s 5 O’Clock somewhere in the universe, time for an ale.”
sandshoe said:
I’ve never known an Australian who thought they needed a licker licence to open up a pub. The Nasty’s got tickets on himself.
LikeLike
Mark said:
Eggxactly 🙂
LikeLike
algernon1 said:
Licker licence hmm sounds like something a dog would need. 🙂
LikeLike
Mark said:
And a walker…
LikeLike
algernon1 said:
Anywhere in particular Hung
LikeLike
Mark said:
I’d like to say Ace but it could lead to banishment.
LikeLike
vivienne29 said:
We certainly do not need a licence and I’m so glad that got sorted quick smart. Brilliant.
LikeLike
Mark said:
Thanks Viv. I hope this episode contains some Australian values.
LikeLike
vivienne29 said:
It does – a virtual pub dispensing virtual grog for free ………
LikeLiked by 2 people
sandshoe said:
No pub has grog that is this free, granted. There’s evidence of good old fashioned Australian risk taking right there…
LikeLike