Story by Mark.
You know, the one thing that is certain is that nothing is certain. Don’t you just hate pithy sayings like that, that make sense. Now you’re okay with me getting things off my chest, nothing like a long bow, the other one that bugs me is this verse of a song who I have no idea who wrote it,
All men, all men are liars their words ain’t worth no more that worn out tyres
Hey girls, bring rusty pliers, to pull this tooth all men are liars and that’s the truth*
Said by a man making it a lie. Need I go on.
I’m in the flyer on my way to Newie, first class overnight, the Bish knows how to treat his favourite barista.
[Stop Hung, it’s barrister. Cannot I, Foodge, not perform on the stage, true to my character? Am I not a person with needs and wants, a light in a window breaks and a butterfly flays it’s wings half way round the planet so prepare for a hurricane. Those are things that make me fight for truth and justice for my client and heaps of Cyberian dollars your Honor. Objection over ruled Foodge.]
Okay then well, seen it’s being nice to me week, barrister and especially after me and the Bish had this conversation.
“Look Foodge, it’s like this. Gordon has rung me and said you should get out of town for a few days, you know just till things settle down.”
“What things?” replies Foodge, stiff upper lip and all that.
“Oh c’mon Foodge, it’s in the press, the Cyberograph, even the ABC(All aBout Cyberians).
“Well, Bish I have no idea about what you are talking about. Tell me what episode number are you up to?”
“Um, 94, you?”
“Er, 92, look, wheeze is both in the wrong episode, easy fixed, see ya then, been great catching up, say hello to Bronwyn, is the overnight to Newie all on Gordon still okay?”
“Well, yes, due to all the confusion we’ll catch up later.”
“Um, what am I about to do in the next exciting episode?” inquires Foodge.
“Piss off.”
Interval
Gib and Angler pick me up at the station in the modified Zephyr. They both have shotguns stuffed down heir pants and bragged how the girls like a big member. I thought yes, some times spotting dicks is a talent. I should now, I’ve been a dick for so long it’s become second nature. I’ve been a proud dick and times and I’ve flopped
for various reasons however I am now convinced that once you are a dick you will always be a dick and I’d even go as far to say that I was born a dick and just like all those other dicks around me.
[Oh, spare us please, I’ll interject on behalf of everyone and I’m writing this. Get on with it.]
“Fantastic car, how much modification did you need to do?” asks Foodge.
“Nah, not much, well a bit, sort of a fair bit that turned into a lot. Once we could get the door handles and window winders working we were set. Then there was the motor however this story has a word limit” says Gib.
“Wadda ya doing in Newie?” asks Angler “Hope you don’t want us to kill no one. Good game of footy this weekend and to be frank one of the two give me indigestion.”
“Nah, Gordon and the Bish sent me here to get ready for episode 94. Apparently I’m in the shit”
“Nothings changed then” chorus the lads.
*Nick Lowe
Thanks, Mark, wondered what that was down me strides ,thought I had a stiffy, so was gonna smuggle it home to see what the missus thought of it. The shotty will come in handy, not that Angler or eye would use it on the train, the shotty, that is, not the stiffy. Both come in rather handy on public transport.
Nice to see you back in the sadle, young feller.
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Fanks Sister. Twas running in my head in hospital so couldn’t wait to get home to write it up.
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I love this. It’s hilarious.
ps I lost track of just how many dicks there are in it. I think the answer rightfully is how long’s a piece of string.
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Thank you Honshades. Had to get home and write this one down before I forget. Then I got home and realised I could have used my tablet. Not very with it sometimes.
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I wrote one on my mobile phone once in an email, think it was to Emmjay. Honey, that was an ordeal tip tap tapping away using the end of a chewed up fingernail. 😀
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Nancy or is it Lee looks so guilty or is it conjoined guilt?
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That Nancy and Lee comment, hilarious Hung. Lee has a weird look on his face, Nancy not so much.
I guess Gibb and Angler had been out shooting cats earlier as well.The shotgun down their pants brings new meaning to an old saying.
Keep it up, very funny.
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Those album covers of yours Ace, bloody hilarious can’t resist them.
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Well wait to you see this weeks offering. I wonder if Nancy is wearing something, Lee certainly is surprised.
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Really ! Well, it’s actually rather good.
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🙂 Cheers.
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