With Sydney’s Eastern suburbs facing a growing outbreak, we’ve collated some of the most common questions about the new restrictions.
#1 Distancing: Do I need to keep a 1.5 metre distance from my Porsche Cayenne and the Land Rover Vogue next to me in the supermarket carpark, or can I just be a fuckwit and park across two spaces as usual?
#2 Masks: Are masks required while doing lines of coke outside, or just while in homes and offices?
#3 QR Codes: Whenever I go to check in at my day spa with my phone, my phone’s camera is always pointing back at me (I think I permanently changed the setting ages ago). Do I just show the person at reception the selfie I took, or should I upload it to Instagram with a #Covidlyfe hashtag?
#4 Density limits: How many litres of lip filler can I have per square centimetre?
#5 Panic buying: In amongst all the craziness, we bought three investment properties last week. Are there likely to be per-customer limits introduced?
#6 Police powers: How much is the fine if your mask doesn’t match your activewear? If I see a crime being committed should I report it to police?
#7 Tests: I’ve heard COVID tests involve putting something up your nose. Can I just pay in cash when I get there?
#8 Symptoms: What are the first signs that house prices are about to drop?
#9 Differing Viewpoints: I understand there are a lot of different views and we need to be open to all of them. But can we all agree that the window table at Icebergs on a Saturday afternoon is the best?
#10 Exceptions: My Mum is desperately sick and lives in Britain. Can I still go to Port Douglas for a girls’ weekend next month?
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I subscribed – coz I have a job. If you can afford to subscribe, you should too.
Good one.
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Love it. I live in a suburb where 1/2 the population is East Asian. I’ve noticed that Porsche Cayenne’s seem to be the car of choice to sit in the driveway. Conspicuous wealth is important it would seem, even if they are not wealthy. They rarely move I notice.
However, I have noticed one newbie is playing one-upmanship. Their Porsche Cayenne is their shopping trolley. They have a Lamborghini Huracan out the front of theirs.
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Wow! I have a 2006 Hyundai Accent in my carport. That beats them right?
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We have a 2006 Toyota Kluger does the same thing at a fraction of the price. I’ve seen the conspicuous wealth come back and bite so many of them when something goes wrong.
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I suppose my Holden Commodore wagon would be a real fit 🙂
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It would be HOO. We had an Indian family live across the road, where it was all about the conspicuous wealth, house full of bling, expensive cars, you name it. Then something happened and it all came tumbling down. House was sold quickly, almost a fire sale.
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