Story by Therese Trouserzoff

The Enmore Institute firmly believes that a strong government demands an equally strong opposition and in light of the current situation, we are taking steps to avoid the imminent extinction of the Australian Liberal Party.

Previous attempts to save the National Party have clearly proven to be fruitless and with the  few remnants wandering around in a vegetative zombie-like state, with limited resources we have decided to focus on what may yet be saved from disastrous leadership, the Enmore Institute has taken the strategic view to avoid attempting the impossible.

Our scientists are collaborating with the Thylacine Project – attempting to re-engineer an extinct species from mitochondrial DNA recovered from the bones of a museum specimen.

Accordingly, our team is exhuming the remains of the late Sir Robert Menzies – father of the Liberal Party. 

Some exploratory work was done in response to urgings to consider using genetic material from the not quite extinct sub species Howardius johnsonii.  However ,funding bodies were hesitant, expressing doubts about the genetic purity of the line following prolonged exposure to Thatcherite radiation.

Further preliminary investigations into using chord blood were scrapped when it was observed that even young Liberals in previously protected habitats (like Goldstein) were judged to be infertile by their gonads  constituents.

Moreover, strong support from a small pod of moderate Liberals included their belief that Sir Robert was turning over in his grave given the extraordinary loss of Liberal habitat, particularly in Western Australia.

The Enmore Institute was approached by the Greens, who insisted that resurrecting even a pure strain of Liberal ideology was akin to bringing back smallpox.  They were amenable to the notion that if Liberal DNA-laden embryos could prove to be viable, freezing them would be an important means of re-creating herd immunity, should the need arise in the future.  The Greens insisted on being guaranteed a say in any considerations to thaw.

One remaining risk bothering our team is that we will find that the coffin, like the ideology, is empty.