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Author Archives: Therese Trouserzoff

Tallest Poppies

04 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

Bill Gates, Howard Florey, IBM, iPad, IPod, Steve Jobs, Tall poppies

Selectron 2400 - wasn't a big success - guess why.

After much brou-haha, fan fare and some controversy over whether he was the Messiah – or just a naughty boy, the passing of Steve Jobs and the release of Walter Isaacson’s authorised biography, FM and I were discussing how, after working the IT industry for over thirty years it seems that our industry has always had its giants.

Whether you regard jobs as some kind of eccentric megalomaniac with a gift for design, head and shoulders above his peers, or whether you see him as some uber-geek with dodgy personal habits and a penchant for bullying in the  workplace, the story as told by Isaacson is an interesting journey.

The IT industry, so dominated by the Americans, has a hall of fame that ought to eclipse the music, movie and publishing industries, but which tends to hide its light under a scanner. For example, has anyone heard of Bob Metcalf ?  No, I thought not.  Bob invented the Ethernet – the first widespread network technology connecting PCs and other computers.  Do we know who were the fathers of Arcnet – the precursor to the Internet ?  No, me neither.

And with the exception of a few huge names like Bill Gates and Larry Ellison (owner of Oracle – major database technology for the less well informed) the lions of IT are invisible to people outside the technology and communications industries.  Do we know the names of any of the geniuses who design and build the information storage technology on which practically everything that uses electricity depends ?  The processors at the core of every computer, large and small, every mobile phone and these days, goddamnit every set of traffic lights and even if not most many kitchen appliances.

Bardeen, Brittain and Shockley ring a bell ?  Inventors of the transistor at Bell Labs in 1947 (nobel Prize for that in 1956),  Jack Kilby and Robert Noyce (silicon chip in 1961 at Texas Instruments), Federico Faggin and Ted Hoff microprocessor  at Intel between 1969 and 1971),  mass storage (there is a really good summary of this fascinating area in http://royal.pingdom.com/2008/04/08/the-history-of-computer-data-storage-in-pictures/ ) and so many of the storage revolutions have come from our old friend IBM’s laboratories.  The chaps at IBM astounded the world this January by revealing tunnelling electron microscope pictures of their latest experimental memory – storing a byte of data in 8 x 12 ATOM increments.  http://www.wired.com/wiredenterprise/2012/01/ibm-scientists/

For me, the light went on about the revelation in technology when Apple brought out their first iPod – then soon after one that could store 40GB of data or songs.  I had recently run all my vinyl LPS onto MP3 songs by hooking up my Yamaha amp to the input on an old Windows 98 laptop running a piece of freeware – that captured the sound and wrote digital files.  Over 200 LPs took up about 13GB – less than half the iPod’s capacity and I could use some more of that huge pocket-sized storage to backup the last ten years’ work files – and still I had space left over.

The early iPods had tiny rotating disk storage.  Rotating disks consume far more power than memory chips, are slower and have moving parts – that are prone to wear after a rather long time, admittedly.

After that came memory chips up to 32GB each for less than $150 a piece – on USBs, then Micro storage of the same capacity – killing off CDs and DVDs as the storage media of choice for movies and audio files.  And at the same time opening up wonderful opportunities for portable audio / video capture and playback – and supporting the contemporary mobile phone industry.

More data drives both the software industry and processor chips to be able to handle huge volumes in acceptable time frames.

The iPad was the device I should have seen coming but didn’t.  Laptops got smaller and smaller and not much less powerful but the cornerstone of the next computer / communications breakthrough was combining computing power and storage capacity with mobile telephony technology AND touch screen technology that for the first time had become fast and reliable (up to a certain level of consumer abuse).

Make no mistake, the early touch screen phones were no great shakes.  Two years ago, Telstra gave me a Samsung Wave phone.  Touch screen.  No keyboard.  Worked when it felt like it.  Two repairs under warranty.  Apple’s iPhone 4 had antennae problems – not good for a phone costing $900.  Two years later I have a new iPhone 4s – and cannot believe how good this thing is.  Lost in Melbourne ?  No problem.  Open up Maps, tell it where you want to go.  It knows where you are from the mobile grid – and shows you how to get to your destination.  Not in Melbourne ?  Doesn’t care.  Works wherever it can see some GPS satellites.

So, as much as Steve Jobs has been lionised for his breakthrough technologies, this in my opinion is because the technologies themselves open up the boundaries for so many other geniuses to develop useful things to do.

Not the least of which is e-books.  Now I know that many of us (including me) are rather partial to the feel of paper and I don’t deny the right of generations of Mr Gutenburg’s progeny their place in the sun.  However I can also appreciate that reading the Steve Job’s story on my iPhone (at less than half the cost of the paper book) has a certain appeal when the extra half kilo matters – on planes and in one’s bag on the train, bus or walking across town.

Moreover, the cost of not chopping down a tree, not typesetting and printing the book, shipping it across the world, putting it up in expensive retail stores and (yikes !) paying the wages of serfs to sell it to you – has advantages for a planet groaning under the weight of moving stuff and consuming ever-increasingly expensive energy.

And the phone – or iPad – or other e-book readers can store far more books than can be read in a month of Sundays.

So how come Australia doesn’t have any Steve Jobs – like lions ?

In our IT global IT and communications industry, there is one common thing underpinning the pivotal discoveries, marvellous software and hardware engineering.  Huge deep pockets for research and development.  And HUGE markets to sell the sometimes underdone products into – producing the cash to finish the job properly.

There is a piece of jigsaw that Australia seems to lack entirely.  The bit that can bring wonderful ideas and prototypes into full-scale production.  And make serious money for the people who invented them and their larger tribes.

What happened after Australian Nobel Florey and Brit Fleming rediscovered penicillin and more importantly collaborated with others to produce it in large quantities ?  The pharmaceutical world-changing equivalent of the microhip ?  Florey’s royalties should be keeping South Australia in research dollars till eternity.

Answer:  Working at Oxford at a time when Britain considered that patenting medical discoveries was unethical, Florey and his team had to fly to America to find an organisation with the resources and cash to scale up production.  You can join the dots, now.

There’s more on Florey at http://www.abc.net.au/science/slab/florey/story.htm but the truth seems to be that there is little information because Florey was a humble man shy of publicity.

Perhaps that in itself adds the last missing piece – that a great and inventive mind needs resources and an ego big enough to make investors line up.  A tall poppy, isn’t it; the kind that the uber-egalitarian Australian society hates to see making it truly big.

Ironic is it not that we seem to be OK about the megawealth accrued by worthless obese mining magnates who, by accident of birth and sheer greed personally own enormous fortunes, but lack the foresight to know what to do with it beyond accumulating more.  Those individuals also lack the decency to give something to people who do have the foresight to create the next big things.

Mega wealthy, maybe but certainly no Steve Jobs or more particularly Bill Gates.

Lord of the Drains

03 Saturday Mar 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

Efflinglibs, Lord of the Drains, political satire

AJ Abbott - Lord of the Drains - Apologies to Ivan Albright

Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula

In the Coalitious Swamps in the jungles of Transtoriania dwell the Effinglibs.  Their leader is the evil Lord of the Drains.  The Lord of the Drains is reputed to have clothes made from souls of the dead and from recycled body parts and equipment of Harold the Great of Portsea and a relic of Howard the Horrible.

Since childhood, the Lord of the Drains has been the black hole of mirth and generosity for the Effinglibs and is known for his fierce negativity.  The Oracle of Warragamba it is said, holds that if two Lords of the Drains were lain end to end, they would repulse each other and draw unto them at each of their polls, the wicked, ignorant, megawealthy overlords of Strip Miningg.

The Lord of the Drains has a lifetime quest to find great wealth in the Caves of Frakking.  The road to his eldorado is paved with the dried and dusty bones of the powerless Solaria tribe who have been sunjugated by the Unicorns of Laboria and lay strewn on the fields of Open Cuttia, Long Wallia and the Lands of Subsidia.

It is written in the scrolls of Hansardia that Peter the Great and Penny the Stern Witch of Wongomia had tried to defend the powerless Solaria but lacking the support of the 5 Swans a Swimming, they were forced to flee to the safety of the Woods of Backbenchia.  Fearing the wrath of the Bishop of the Death Stare, they have not been seen since visiting the Advisors of Media.

The Red Witch of Yarralumla has cast a carbonian spell on the Kind and Queen of Minallovus which can only be lifted by the Lord of the Drains and the Efflinglibs by wielding the great sword of the polls and killing the Red Witch of Yarralumla with a single stroke to the neck.

Fortunately for the Solaria, the Red Witch of the Yarralumla is protected by the silver shield of Tim O’Shampoo, Prince Steve and Count Melucky of the Trade-Weighted Indices and can only be in danger if the Great Banks of Reservia smote the interest rates and witness the Treasure of Exchangeria Ratus being plundered by the short selling traders of Forexia.

But all is not well in the Halls of the Effinglibs.  Some say the Giant of Hockania and the Minotaur of Turnbillia are this very day plotting to block the Lord of the Drains with the Undermining Wads of Cashola.  It is said that they fear that the Lord of the Drains has no battle plan and the Effinglibs will face slaughter on the Plains of Electoratia.

Tunic next week and see whether The Duchess of Pynea will save the Lord of the Drains and the Effinglibs from certain doom.

Confused

02 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Warrigal Mirriyuula

≈ 49 Comments

Tags

Wolverton Mountain

Confused by all the Bears and the Birds on Wolverton Mountain - watch out for Clifton Clowers

Playlist and Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPjisfbL8_E

Little Boy Lost, Johnny Ashcroft

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLoQS0GnhWk

Wolverton Mountain, Claude King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KecIdlEAKhU

Sink The Bismarck, Johnny Horton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VMSGrY-IlU

The Man Who Never Returned, The Kington Trio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoBLGE2cCdU

Tom Dooley, The Kingston Trio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRx5r32hsF4

The Ballad of Pancho and Lefty, Emmylou Harris

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07zFCP1anO4&feature=related

Wheeling West Virginia, Neil Sedaka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN8AuLUMOUM

Tar and Cement, Verdelle Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPWo38JHuQ4

Blackwater Haddy, Jim Stafford

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08083BNaYcA

Ferry Cross The Mersey, Jerry & The Pacemakers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J3gX47rHGg

Waterloo Sunset, The Kinks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v–IqqusnNQ&ob=av3e

Life On Mars, David Bowie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYymDZtJvgs

Tammy, Debbie Reynolds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM2Xa4RUBCk

Old Cape Cod, Patti Page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH2E-AUi7Eo

Smallchange, Tom Waits

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNBh73L88r0

Late Flowering Lust, Sir John Betjeman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z42avv3KBCU

The Gambler, Kenny Rogers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clq01TXQR0s

Hurt, Johnny Cash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1x7AeEogGM

The Saint James Infirmary, Hugh Laurie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXF7U5TYV8

Theme Song from “Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood and Michael Stevens

IMF Brings in the Big Gun – #2

01 Thursday Mar 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Greek crisis, IMF, Jesus

.... You know that thing you did with the loaves and fishes ....

In a dramatic turnaround, the Chief of the IMF, Serge Pants has agreed to call for divine intervention in the Greek debt crisis.  Scott Free, the Pig’s Arms Boozecasting (PABC) correspondent in the Haig chocolate shop in the Strand Arcade reported this afternoon that the IMF has decided to opt for a three-pronged solution:

  • Throw the foreign exchange and future derivative traders out with the tampon of the temple.
  • Turn the other cheque.
  • Feed the 15 million while cheeseburgers are only a buck each at Maccas.

Sauces close to the barbecue were feeling the heat and they said it would take a miracle to get out of this mess but something had to be done souvlaki or later.

** Fundamentalists, please don’t crack a fatwah over this, it’s just a joke, OK ?

Alice’s Restaurant

29 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Uncategorized

≈ 27 Comments

For those of us who remember shards of the sixties and seventies …….the express seven minutes short edition …..

Shadow Immigration Policy Tango (on Stopping the Boats)

29 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

asylum seekers, diseases, Opposition immigration policy, Refugees, tango

Deep Deep Shadow Minister for Immigration Scott Morrison - our thanks to the Monthly

– a new Coalition low – Inferring asylum seekers are riddled

with nasty diseases

Hideous Diseases Tango

Step off the leaky boat here and then we will scarya,
And accuse you of rampant malaria.
We’ll whisk you all off in our spotless new buses
As you cough up a lung with pertussis.

And if it’s your dickie that smarts and often tingles,
It’s probably syphilis or shingles.
So if you decide here and now you will threaten us,
We’ll know from your lockjaw – it’s tetanus!

Step off your overloaded barge with a nasty discharge –
As you dance to the Hideous Diseases Tango.

Well, look here, midst your underweighted babies
I could swear that I see some definite signs of rabies
But in the growing xenophobic hysteria
It could well be a case of dyptheria.

And those dribbly drops of pus
Gonorhhoea, it seems to us
As you dance to the Hideous Diseases tango.

Wasting away ? Another TB day !
Sc0tt M0rris0n’s here to say
“Take your Hepatitises away!”
And we’re sorry that we must leave ya
With just a touch of Chlamydia or Dengue fever
Dehydrate ?  Oh my, it’s important not to die
As you dance to the Hideous Diseases tango.

So take your partners and the underweighted kiddies
Cousins, nieces and hairy toothless biddies
To some sh1thole Malays1an hotel
You won’t notice the smell !
And you can dance to the Hideous Diseases tango!

As we fiddle the refugee Grand Total,
You can contemplate lice that are scrotal.
We’ll pretend to process your shonky application.
Feel grateful for the love of our great nation.
We might process your batch –
If you try not to scratch,
Just keep dancin’ the Hideous Diseases tango !

Ole !

Pig’s Arms Calendar

28 Tuesday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 30 Comments

Sarnoff's Roses, 1943

Important Dates for Your Calendar
Sunday 12 June Unduly Pessimistic Monday
Wed 25 Dec Naive Optimist Wednesday
Thu, Fri, Monday Naked Self-Interest Day
Personnel Dept Picnic Day International Sort Out Your Own Shit Day
Pancake Tuesday Money for Jam Day
Cancelled – funding World Help Out a Poor Bastard Day
Jan 1 – 7 Normal Looking People Week
Jan 8-13 International Incompetence Week
Tuesday Feb 31 Secret Saturday
Local Council Decision Comfort a Waif Week
Coincides with F1 Grand Prix International Punch a Fuckwit Fortnight
Coincides with Sleep Apnoea Hour Religious Tolerance Hour
Coincides with Oscars Week Gorgeous But Dumb Week
First Tuesday – Reserve Bank (sponsor) Slightly Below Average Tuesday
Rex Hunt’s Birthday Pity People who Fish Friday
Lawyers Picnic and Policeman’s Ball Stay Inside Saturday
Coincides with National 4WD Gymkhana Can’t Drive for Shit Sunday
August – or Feb depending on season Give Me a Break Month
1 April Climate Denialists Day
Mondays Until Oct Smartarse Footy Tipping Monday
National Rifle Championships Stay Inside Saturday

Gnomesville

27 Monday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Algernon

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Bunbury, Ferguson Valley, Gnomesville

Story and Photograph by Algernon

The last week of January, the Algernons went off to visit family in West Australia. It was the first time for about seven years that we’d all travelled to the West, though Mrs Algernon would go back each year.  The cost makes it difficult for all of us to go. Mrs A’s mum is getting on an in her late 80’s and the juniors in their late teens. It was a time to reconnect with family they rarely see.

Mrs A grew up in a town famous for its wine and cheese, her father being principal of a high school there. I first went there when we returned from Europe in the mid eighties and found the place idyllic. However, each time we’d visit after, it would lose is a little of its charm. On our last visit, the Perth nouveau riche had basically destroyed the place. Nowadays the family lives elsewhere but that is  a story for another time.

Perth doesn’t excite me that much but the south west of West  Australia, is somewhere I can highly recommend to visit or holiday and we always enjoy when we go. We of course picked the hottest week in 50 years to visit. We stayed with friends of Mrs A in Bunbury as the town where her family lives is near mines and unfortunately the hotels, motels and even caravan parks of the town think that they can charge what they like because the mines will pay. For us it was only a 40 minute drive each way to visit and $10 in petrol and that was more favourable than $200 a night for a rat hole.

On one day another of Mrs A’s friends came to visit. She’s a deputy matron at a hospital in a wheat town two and half hours drive away. She had a five day weekend and chose to visit many friends on the coast. She popped in for the afternoon and to give her space, I took the Algernoninas for a drive to a place called Gnomesville in the Ferguson Valley about 40 minutes away from Bunbury.

Now Gnomesville started its life as the result of building a roundabout at the corner of Wellington Mills and Ferguson Roads near Donnybrook in 1995. It was built to supposedly alleviate the traffic at the intersection. This intersection I might add probably sees around 100 traffic movements a day. Apparently this traffic hazard was mentioned a part of a mock council meeting of year 7 students at Dardanup Primary school. Dardanup council somehow got wind of this and spent money on building the roundabout. This caused much discussion with the local community regarding its cost  to “solve” the traffic problem in a deserted mill town.

Soon after its completion someone placed a gnome in the middle of the roundabout, one became two and soon there were enough for a football team so in winter the gnomes would play football and in the summer they’d play cricket. Eventually many would visit to see the gnomes causing distractions to the passing traffic. It was decided to move the gnomes to their present day hamlet on land adjacent to the roundabout. The land appears to be an abandoned rail reserve.

Nowadays there are many thousands of gnomes living in communities in the hamlet of Gnomesville and many more come to stay from visitors all over the world. The hamlet is maintained by the local Wellington Mills Community Association.

Somehow one of the brain dead of West Australia thought it would be a good idea on Australia Day to smash up all the gnomes at Gnomesville.

(1)The Bunbury Mail ran a front page headline “AUSTRALIA DAY GNOMESVILLE BATTLE” in the article it stated “A facebook page which invited more than 200 people to “smash up” popular Dardanup tourist attraction Gnomesville has been slammed by the police and the community.

The page, called Australia Day Gnomesville Smash Up, invited people to Gnomesville on January 26 to drink alcohol and smash the hundreds of gnomes which give the site its name.

More than 170 people have been invited and thirty-three people have said they may attend the event.

A second Facebook page was created in response called Australia Day Gnomesville Smash Up is Disrespectful to Aus Day.

Almost 200 people have supported the page which labels the planned vandalism as “un-Australian.”

Furthermore is stated that “Dardanup winery Bonking Frog Wines owner said Gnomesville had a positive influence on the area and many tourists sung its praise.

“We always have positive feedback, people think it’s a quaint and unique attraction for the South West,” they said.

“There’s a strong feeling of ownership from people that live in the Ferguson Valley – I think they would be personally affronted if anyone was to destroy Gnomesville.”

Bunbury police officer in charge said local police had operational plans in place for Australia Day.

He said the Gnomesville site in the Ferguson Valley was already part of their patrols.

Anyone caught vandalising the site will be charged by police. “

Now the brain dead of West Australia are renowned for using quokkas in Rottnest Island as footballs or as sexual objects should they be spurned by the equally brain dead.

Into action went the members of the Community Association to save the gnomes of Gnomesville from the ravages of the brain dead as the local community chose to have their Australia Day celebrations there instead.

The thing is that nearly everyone in the south west knew of the gnome bashing planned for Australia Day.

The Algernoninas and I enjoyed this trip to see the gnomes and much care and consideration has been taken to the placing of these gnomes in their communities as well as the messages left. We spent a while there looking at the gnomes with the heat in the end taking us in search of cool drinks and some delicious fresh local stone fruit from Donnybrook on the way back.

For some views of the gnomes you could look at these sites.

http://www.southwestlife.com.au/articles/gnomesville.html

http://www.fergusonvalley.net.au/Member%20Details?row=171341602

http://www.abc.net.au/local/photos/2011/03/01/3152393.htm

(1)   Bunbury Mail 17/1/2012

Finis

26 Sunday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Sandshoe

≈ 16 Comments

Same thing, different wall hanging (NZ,1988...fine line pen, pencil, computagraphic).

Graphic by Sandshoe

When the Chips are Down – Wrap them Up

26 Sunday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Albanese, Gillard, leadership spill, PM, Pyne, Rudd

I'm voting for you. You're Dead Meat.

The Pig’s Arms Boozecasting Corporation (PABC) psephologist and race-caller, Antony Puce – ever the man for an each way bet has been staying up all night sucking on his insider sauces.  Here’s his latest update on the Rudd / Gillard debacle / fisco / coup / sledging competition.

[[
I was mulling over the complex shitfight known as Australian politics last night.  Burning the midnight absinthe and Merv rolled up in the passenger seat of a chauffeured Turramurra starlifter.  He was sitting next to Giles – the best attired occupant of said vehicle.

On the back seat were a sartorially startling couple on their way back from the St Ives Golf Club Ball and Liberal Party fundraiser.  Merv had amazingly coaxed them this side of the big swamp (otherwise known as Sydney Harbour).  It was lucky Giles knew the way, because I’m certain they had never been out of the leafy northern suburbs since birth, except to streak to Kingsford Smith International airport – by way of transiting to Paris at the pointy end of an Airbus 380.  Possibly one of THEIR airbus 380s.

Rumour has it that the harbour tunnel was built so that they didn’t have to actually look at any of the dwellers on the south side on the way to overseas.

But Fern and Godfrey were not both halves of your average mega-wealthy couple.  As they took up comfortable seats in the Pig’s Arms ladies lounge, and quaffed the first of several bottles of Kurg (Merv would later have words with Manne over the little slip up with the label hastily stuck over the bottle that strongly reminded me of Porphyry Pearl), Godfrey let fly with some deeply inside information of the as he said “laughingly called” Labor shenanigans.  Quaff Quaff.

He said that according to Michael Crocker (at least I thought he said “Crocker”), Kevin Rudd has no expectations of winning the PMship.  It’s just a justification for reluctantly accepting his fate – the OK Corral Monday 10:00 – and opening the way for Rudd to have his shot at the main game – Secretary General of the UN, by way of first being the member for the backbench nearest to the unisex toilet and nappy-changing room.

Godfrey said that Crocker stepped it out for him – Julia wins the PM again – Rudd pledges full support for Julia – Crean sprays coffee out his nose, trying not to die laughing in front of the cameras.

Godfrey said that that last trip to Washington was to stitch up Hillary’s support for the Rudder to take over from Bunky Moon next year – just before the election.

Julia is supposed to lose in a Ruddslide.  Abbott cannot win, so he will need to run across the road in a triathlon and be mowed down by a paper truck owned by Fairfux who by then, will in turn be wholly-owned by Gina Rawhide.  Alternative theories suggest a return to that old conservative tactic – the Harold Holt man oeuvre board.

The replacement for Abbot will be problematic.  Turnbuckle is too wet for the miners, Jumpin’ Joe is just not bright enough, but is at least malleable – provided Christopher Pyne-o-clean does the thinking for him.  So the Turnbuckle / Pyne-o-clean team gets up.

The independents will be massacred and buried in unmarked shallow ballot boxes.

The Labor party will have an across the board spill.  Anthony Albuqueque – who has shown great courage and personal integrity by voting for Rudd – as a protest against Rudd getting shafted in a “not the Labor Party” way, without admitting that he also recognises that the massive disaffection with Rudd is based on the reality that Rudd was, is and always will be a micro-managing tosser who happened to run against the most hated Liberal since Bob Menzies played in the Bethlehem under sixes.

Julia refused to accept Albo’s resignation for fessing up that he’s not going to vote for her – possibly because without Albo, Labor does not have an attack dog in the front row – but more probably because he has the respect of many in caucus because he gives not a shit about anything else except punching out Tories.

On that basis, Julia has confirmed that she’s not tough enough to be PM – remembering that Australians prefer a PM that reminds them of their dad after he’s had a skinful and feels like fighting coppers.

So Albo will be our man – but not for ….. say …… ten years of total misery by which time….  prolonged mining in WA will cause Australia to overbalance and half slide off the East Coast continental shelf, pranging into New Zealand.

There will be a massive voter backlash due to proximity discomfort from Dame Kiri.  And Albo will be the man of the hour.  Clive Palmist, Twiggy Foreign and Gina Rhino will start mining the Pacific Ocean, Antarctica and Bill Grate’s bank account – figuring that it’s easier to just mine money and cut out all that dirt and noise – that requires (gasp) labour.

Rudd as UN chief will preside over the subjugation of the Arab states by the Chinese – brought about by a mistranslation of the mandarin for “we’ll have all of it” as “we laugh at awful tit”,

People will remember with fondness / deep anger Australia’s experiment with a hung parliament and a government led by our first shiela PM, but being Australians we will cop it sweet and stand by our man.

Our Man Albo.

I finished copying down Godfrey’s diatribe, Emailed it off to the editor (Voice – who will take out ALL the dashes and a goodly-proportion of the apostrophes) and toddled into the Ladies lounge for a share of what was left of the Porphyry Kurg.
]] (sic*)
*Editor’s note: The proof-reader is currently on emergency leave of absinthe.

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