Keep us all safe, our Merv

And protect us from Chris Uhlmann’s barbs and pointed arrows

And wife-beater questions

Weary we are of his constant harping attacks and always negative whining about the goverment didn’t do this or failed to do that or hashed up whatever.

Sick to the navel or the Head of Defence Forces we are of him and his ABC harpies.

Release Emmjay from his prison hell in wardrobe

Turn off the pub TV

And let in a little light

And the patrons looked upon the Pig’s Arms LCD

And they saw that it was blank

It was good

It was Better than good.

It was excellent

And Merv sayeth until the multitude

I shall forswear the A of B and C

all the days of Viv and Ian’s childhood

And groweth-up they in a Pub with No Fear

For it’s lonesome away from no NEWS you can hear

By the pool table at night where the dart board’s quite near

And the News and 7:30

Will ne’er here reappear

For all the days I will walk

behind the bar you’ll recall

I will stroll straight and tall.

By the flickering light

of the Bally pinball.

There endeth the middy and the lassoo.