“I said to Vlad, ‘I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours and it was a dead heat – they were both this big !”*

Manne Overboard at the G20.

Pig’s Arms correspondenty waxes lyrical at the well-dressed-only gig in Brisvegas.

Well, it was a careering highlight for the Abbottmeister – hosting the G20.  It was AAA listers only including the Zimbabwean Deputy Assistant to the Third Under Secretary for Forest and Mine.  He was quoted as saying “I was very impressed when Mr Abort took out his banjo and played “Black Mountain Breakdown”.  I think that was before he took out his wedding photograph – with his lovely sister wife Jebeen.  And what  a talent – donkey breeding, cooking’ chitlins and grits, cussin’ and spitting’ – all at the one time.  He had a still photograph too”.

German Chancellor (and patron of the Pig’s Arms resident bikie gang) Angle Murky warmed the hearts of local Brisvegans with her down home humour, sensible tracky dacks and funny stories about former East German weight lifters and invading Poland.

British PM David Cameroon… no, wait, that’s a country …. oh, confusion ! Silly me, expressed relief at not having to put on “one of those fucking ridiculous batik shirts AGAIN and retired to his suite to entertain Muffy – a beagle sniffer dog with whom he had struck a special relationship at the airport – and her well-connected handler, Des R.M. Phetamines.

US Pres.  Borat Obama hailed his meeting with the Australian PM as a grate success although he felt that the chewin’ tobacco spitting’, crawdad eating and hog wrastlin’ triathlon was probably better understood by his predecessor.

“Most of the steamed guests were hurriedly packing up when I got there” said a thin, pale and spotty version of the Australian Treasurer, “I think they were saying they had to get to somewhere important in a hurry”.

* Clarification – Mr Abort was talking diameter, not length….