Tag Archives: Pig’s Psalm

Pig’s Psalm 18 The Pub is My Shelter

24 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by in Pig Psalms

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I love you, our pink slice of heaven.

I’m loving you all through and through.

From your chromium-legged laminex tables

To the Mondrian Brothers’  tiled loo.

I love your pub ceiling yellow

And the tiles that bedeck all your walls

The nourishing pub food sustains me

And the beer puts fat hairs on my balls

I love all the patrons who attend thee

I’m loving our dear Mervyn too

Say hello to the beautiful Janet

Say hello to the Hell’s Angles crew.

And the bands that rock all our socks off

In the Nathan Rees Memorial Ballroom upstairs

I’m fond of the Hedge in the carpark

And the deals done when nobody cares.

I like all the Cooks River Fishies

And most of the Sea Scouts, don’t you ?

And the always-rigged Friday raffle meat tray

Lady bowlers who hang out there too.

Let’s give thanks for our

Wonderful Pig’s Arms

And Bless all who go for the view

The writers and painters and poets

The clowns and philosophers too.

So we can all come and raise up our glasses

Drink a toast to the great Trotter’s Ale

Drink a toast to the friendliest piglets

Drink a toast to the curl in the tail.

 

Recessional Redux

22 Friday Apr 2011

Posted by in Pig Psalms, Warrigal Mirriyuula

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Pictures by Warrigal Mirriyuula

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Recessional Redux by Warrigal Mirriyuula

Merve of our hotel, known of old—

Lord of the beer which tastes so fine.

Within whose red brick walls he holds

Dominion over spirit and wine,

Publican host, be with us yet,

Same again mate , lest we forget!

The tumult and the shouting dies

The roadcrew and the bands depart

Still stands Merve with broom in hand,

He sweeps and mumbles, lets go a fart.

Publican host, be with us yet,

Same again mate, lest we forget!

Home called, the punters melt away

The doors are locked, the “useful” paid

And all the beer is pissed away

To empty bladders for another day.

Licensing Sergeant, spare us yet,

Same again mate, lest we forget!

If, drunk with too much Trotters, we loose

Wild tongues that have not Merve in awe

Such bruisings as will turn to puce

Our arses, he’ll kick and say no more.

Publican host, be with us yet,

Same again mate, lest we forget!

Poor battered souls that put their trust

In reeking loo and threadbare carpet

Will all be dust that builds on dust,

So “Staffies” for all Granny, there’s a poppet.

For frantic boasts and foolish words,

Are the staples of life for dear old Merve.

Pig’s Psalm 16: No News is Good News

12 Tuesday Apr 2011

Posted by in Emmjay, Pig Psalms

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PA's 1976 Captain Fantastic Pinball Machine

Keep us all safe, our Merv

And protect us from Chris Uhlmann’s barbs and pointed arrows

And wife-beater questions

Weary we are of his constant harping attacks and always negative whining about the goverment didn’t do this or failed to do that or hashed up whatever.

Sick to the navel or the Head of Defence Forces we are of him and his ABC harpies.

Release Emmjay from his prison hell in wardrobe

Turn off the pub TV

And let in a little light

And the patrons looked upon the Pig’s Arms LCD

And they saw that it was blank

It was good

It was Better than good.

It was excellent

And Merv sayeth until the multitude

I shall forswear the A of B and C

all the days of Viv and Ian’s childhood

And groweth-up they in a Pub with No Fear

For it’s lonesome away from no NEWS you can hear

By the pool table at night where the dart board’s quite near

And the News and 7:30

Will ne’er here reappear

For all the days I will walk

behind the bar you’ll recall

I will stroll straight and tall.

By the flickering light

of the Bally pinball.

There endeth the middy and the lassoo.

Pig’s Psalm 1: 41 – The Meat Tray Way

07 Thursday Apr 2011

Posted by in Pig Psalms, Sandshoe

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Dodgy types going down the Meat Tray Way.....

By Sandshoe

Blessed is the one

who does not walk in mud with the weather or begrudge the weight of the Pigs Arm’s take

or sit in the stall with mockers

[mocking piglets’ passing]

But who oinks hard at the jokes of The Big Pig and who meditates on the slough day and night.

That piglet is like the mud laid down by streams of water, which yields its mud in season and whose hock does not wither —

whatever they do prospers.

Not so non-virtuals!

They are like straw

that the fox [it is written huffing and puffing] blows away.

Thus the non-virtual will not stand in judgment, nor stragglers into this assembly of our piglets.

For The Boss watches over the way of the piglets, but the way of the bad pig leads to the meat tray.

Apologies:

Psalm 1: (New International Version, 2010) BOOK I Psalms 1:41

Pig’s Psalm 12 – the Director of Music

09 Wednesday Mar 2011

Posted by in Emmjay, Pig Psalms

≈ 29 Comments

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It is to you, our Waz,  whizz of musicological magic

That we look for inspiration

And a howling reminder of the great tunefulness of the youtube-o-sphere

Thy range is inexhaustible.

Thy tastes hyper-eclectic, tinged with soppiness

But

Counterbalanced with edgy Zappa-like overtones.

And a tendency to lope off into the sunset with a jaunty, sandy-furred carefree gait.

Blessed be you, our Waz for the music is in you and you are in the music.

Amen (Chorus)