A Huge wave of excitement washed over the unwashed press gallery. The Big O is in town !

Only the Lonely, Dum Dum Dum Dum-dy doo-wha.

The Pig’s Arms rock critic – with a nose for news – Glen A 20, rang in today with the exciting news that the Big O is in town, scorching rumours that he hasn’t been amongst the quick for years.

Princess PowerFox – the president of Australia is eagerly awaiting her next instructions – after setting up a new US base in Darwin (and raising the hopes of all those US Marines who have grown tired of molesting the women of Okinawa), we look set to be told to export Uranus to Indira – but our correspondent is having a bet that there is no way Pakistan is getting a load because, you know, they’re dodgy and anyway they fix cricket games and that’s not cricket.

Fixing games IS cricket, but getting caught is more like getting caught doing cricket commentary and jumping out of hotel windows because you got very agitated and all those bastards mumbling “kiddie fiddler” can get well and truly sledged up deep middle off.

Let’s hope the PowerFox has more luck with setting up a base for the US Marines than she has had getting up a processing centre for asylum seekers.

Where was I….. oh yes the much delayed and much anticipated drop-by of the Fuhrer of the Free World.   One can only imagine that having stitched up the oil middle east for democracy, the irony sands of the Pilbara and the gassy North West shelf will be the next to be liberated by the sons of Columbus.

From the Halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli

From the antarctic up to Alice,

We’ll be free, we’ll be free, we’ll be free.