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~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Tag Archives: Tony Abbott

The Fundamentalist Adventures of Tony Abbott

19 Friday Apr 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Tony Abbott

Liberal Coalition Fundraiser – Product Endorsements

11 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

political satire, toilet humour, Tony Abbott

Story by Manne

In an exciting and innovative move, the Libnats have hit on a new approach to fund-raising in the face of massive voter indifference … product endorsement !

Watch your TV screens for their new advertisements.

In Pig’s Arms breaking news, we can reveal the launch of their first endorsed product

the Tony Abbott Toilet Brush

toilet brush

The utility of the Pinocchio nose certainly comes in handy !

An F Word of Advice to Tony on the M Word – from Pussy Riot

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

misogyny, Pussy Riot, sexism, Tony Abbott

932862-abbott-new

Language Warning !!

I’m not saying that that state and Federal Labor are wonderful trusty, ethical upholders of good government and I’m not exhorting everyone to vote for them.

But the prospect of returning to another decade of Howardesque misery, xenophobia, environmental ignorance and mean-spiritedness is a shitty alternative.

And the thought of having a retro-coalition government – this time led by a halfwit retard sexist pig in speedos is just too far beyond the pale.

So, in response to that disastrous idea, here’s the Australian Pussy Riot Team.  They dropped into the Pig’s Arms and dished it out – reminding us of the calibre of the challenger to the throne.

Most Pig’s Arms patrons can cope with a bit of rough language – even abuse – if you’re not one of them, don’t listen to this clip (but it DOES raise the tone of the debate)

nelson riddle 2

A sniff of victory in the air.

21 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by gerard oosterman in Uncategorized

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Christmas, Joe Hockey, Tony Abbott, Wayne Swan

http://www.businessspectator.com.au/

julia_gillard_australia_pm_295

Sighs of relief echoed around Australia yesterday as Wayne Swan finally fronted up to formally ditch the surplus promise, but none would have been deeper and more heartfelt than among Labor MPs and staff at campaign headquarters in Melbourne.

They had been faced with coming back from Christmas holidays and starting an election campaign having to find at least $15 billion in new spending cuts for no good economic reason. In fact business and markets were pushing for a deficit so the Reserve Bank didn’t have to do all the work in countering the strong currency.

The political calculation was this: is it better to face an angry squall of broken promise accusations from the Opposition while the voters are doing their Christmas shopping, or cut $15 billion from government spending during an election campaign? No contest really.

And the barking from Joe Hockey and Tony Abbott yesterday was probably neutralised by polite applause and yawns from business groups and market economists.

It’s been a pretty good week for the ALP. The campaign has been freed from a fiscal straitjacket and a Roy Morgan face-to-face poll taken over the past two weekends has put them comfortably in front – 52.5 per cent to 47.5 per cent, which are roughly the figures of the 2007 election.

Obviously there is a long way to go, but Labor MPs and the campaign staff led by national secretary George Wright will sit down to Christmas dinner this year with the sniff of victory in 2013.

The key to Labor’s turnaround is a surge in support from women. According to the Morgan poll, support for the ALP among women went from 35 per cent to 40.5 per cent between November and December, and on a two-party preferred basis from 50.5 to 56 per cent.

Men are roughly equally divided between the ALP and the Coalition, but Tony Abbott and his team now have a real problem with women. Their two-party preferred support among women has collapsed from 51 per cent in November to 44 per cent now.

These are notoriously volatile figures and need to be confirmed by other polls, but as Gary Morgan said this week, it’s been “a bad couple of weeks for the Opposition as the sustained attacks on Prime Minister Julia Gillard over her involvement in an AWU ‘slush-fund’ from nearly 20 years ago fell flat due to a lack of evidence of any wrongdoing … (and) the case the L-NP promoted against former Speaker Peter Slipper involving his former staffer James Ashby backfired.”

Normally the ditching of a budget surplus promise after three years of saying you’d do whatever it takes to deliver one would be good for the Opposition, but despite all the furious broken promise finger-wagging, it’s unlikely to get the Opposition anywhere unless Abbott and Hockey counter with a surplus plan of their own, which they can’t.

The Coalition now has a problem with Tony Abbott’s leadership. His disapproval rating is now 63 per cent and Julia Gillard is now well ahead (49/36) as “preferred prime minister”. That wouldn’t matter if the Coalition was well ahead overall, but it’s not now.

Actually I’d say there’s a fair chance yesterday’s dumping of the surplus by Wayne Swan will actually extend the ALP’s lead, especially among women – because it’s plainly sensible.

So, let’s also deal with those bloody guns in the US:, please sign;

http://www.change.org/petitions/international-court-of-justice-at-the-hague-bring-the-us-pro-gun-senators-to-justice

 

It’s the Climate as well Tony, not just Misogyny!

12 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by gerard oosterman in Uncategorized

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

Kerry O'Brien, Tony Abbott, Tony Jones

This article is by Climate Spectator Tristan Edis.

http://www.climatespectator.com.au/commentary/abbott-s-problems-go-far-beyond-misogyny?&utm_source=exact&utm_medium=email&utm_content=116473&utm_campaign=kgb&modapt

=

There’s been a lot of debate in the media about whether or not Tony Abbott is a misogynist, even extending to an American style intervention by his wife and daughter. You know we’re in trouble in this country when family members, rather than policy, become front and centre in our political debate.

But where’s the debate about Abbott’s lack of policy detail?

Our chart of the week is a little unconventional in that it is nothing fancy, just your stock standard utility bill. Except it seems that Tony Abbott, nor his legion of advisers, nor the pensioner whose bill it was, seemed capable of interpreting it properly.

The failure for Abbott to do even the most simple of analysis on this occasion is in fact illustrative of a much broader problem – his lack of attention to detail.

Eighty-two-year-old pensioner Hetty Verolme of Perth, received a rather unpleasant shock when she opened her electricity bill for August and found it had gone up by $800, a 70 per cent rise relative to her last bill. She immediately concluded it must be due to the carbon tax and sent it straight through to Tony Abbott’s office in support of his campaign to “axe the tax”.

Abbott took Hetty’s carbon tax complaint straight into Parliament House, brandishing her bill while asking Prime Minister Julia Gillard:

“With an $800 increase in just one bill of which 70 per cent is due to the carbon tax how can the prime minister possibly claim that Hetty Verolme’s compensation is in any way adequate?”

One problem, the predominant reason for the increase in Hetty’s bill was that her electricity consumption for the August bill had about doubled compared to her previous bill.

Not only that, but the text that sits to the left of the usage comparison chart explains that rather than electricity prices going up 70 per cent as Abbott claimed, it was in fact 9.13 per cent stating:
“From 1 July 2012 electricity prices will increase. This includes 2.255c/unit for Synergy’s estimate of its costs for the federal government’s carbon price, Synergy’s allowable return and GST. This represents an estimated increase of 9.13 per cent for an average daily usage of 15.89 units.”
Tony ‘I’m not a tech head’ Abbott has for the most part got away with this lack of attention to detail because he has largely bent with the winds of the tabloid media in their sensationalist coverage around cost of living pressures. This coverage has been largely rubbish, as any cursory review of the Australian Bureau of Statistics’ inflation data would reveal.
But Abbott has learnt well from his baptism of fire as press secretary for John Hewson in the unlosable 1993 election; and then Howard’s subsequent success in 1996 with his small target strategy.
He has been a brilliant opposition leader to date because of his mastery of the Keep It Simple Stupid principle. Abbott knows that the ability to get a message across in the media from opposition is incredibly constrained. Messages must be simple, short, small in number, repeated regularly, and shaped around, not against, the predominant flow of news coverage.
No point talking about a serious problem if the media aren’t already covering it. And even if something isn’t really a problem, if the media think it is, then just go with it.
So rather than focus on poor regulation of electricity networks, that have been used to raise state government revenues by stealth; rant and rave about a carbon tax which is actually a necessary and efficient economic reform.
And instead of focussing on Australia’s ridiculously poor productivity in the construction sector due to union tactics (which mean we pay 50 to 100 per cent what the US does for things like power stations, high rise buildings and new industrial plant); talk about boat people stealing our jobs.
This is has worked well for Abbott so far. But when questioned on detail, Abbott falls apart. He fell apart when Kerry O’Brien got into detail on broadband. He fell apart when Leigh Sales got into detail about Olympic Dam and the mining and carbon taxes. And so far he is running scared from Lateline’s Tony Jones, turning down every one of the program’s repeated requests for interviews.
As John Hewson sagely observed at an ANU conference of Australian economists, “Tony Abbott is the best…….opposition leader Australia has ever had. I just don’t know what he’d be like as prime minister.”
I suspect that the electorate’s poor opinion of Tony Abbott is as much a reflection of John Hewson’s observation as anything to do with perceptions of misogyny. Until he demonstrates a grip on policy detail, serious questions will hang over Abbott’s capability to lead this country.

Abbottian Attack Dog

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Warrigal Mirriyuula

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

cartoon, Scott Morrison, Tony Abbott

Abbott with Abbottian Attack Dog – Morrisonii scottocious

Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula

Boat People. Not New. Never New, Suddenly Unacceptable

09 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 38 Comments

Tags

Boat-people, SS Oronsay, Tony Abbott

People have been coming to Australia in boats for tens of thousands of years.  Up until the last twenty years, there has been no problem about this.  Which, in itself is a problem.  Not that people should not be allowed to come to Australia by ship.  The fact that some short while ago, navigating to Australia suddenly became a selective process IS both a trivial and a terrible problem – simultaneously.

OK for some.  Apparently not OK for others.

Do you remember when the Australian navy dispatched a crew of brave sailors to the dangers of the Southern Ocean – to save a lone sailor.  Who was participating in an around-the-world race.  A bloody race !  For fun and for fame and money.  A bloody race.  Apparently it cost the Australian taxpayers several million dollars to fund the rescue.  Not the once did they perform the feat.  If memory serves me correctly, we also footed the bill and risked lives in rescuing the French woman Isabelle Autissier –  1,700 km south of Adelaide in 1995.  Footnote: This woman was also saved when she had another go at upside down sailing 3,100 km west of Cape Horn in 1998.  That time she was saved by a fellow competitor.

But rescuing sailors and others in trouble in Australian and international waters is both morally correct and what we are obliged to do under international maritime law.

So, it’s clearly OK for Australia to pick and choose who may come and how we treat them.

I would like to think that nearly everyone who makes the life and death trip to Australia – is welcome – especially in circumstances where this trip is no game.  When  people are fleeing certain persecution and death in their home countries, they are particularly welcome.

In fact we had a great track record welcoming such people to Australia – fleeing the hellish destruction of Europe in the Second World War, the civil War in Lebanon, the Vietnam War, the junta in Chile, famine AND war in Africa, War in Sri Lanka, War in the Middle East, War in Afghanistan.  Over and over and over.

John Howard said WE will decide who can come and under what circumstances.  He meant, “ONLY white people of whom I approve” can come.  The rest, we’ll fuck around like they count for nothing.  Disgraceful.

And his heir apparent has taken up the mantra.  WE will stop the boats.  We.  That’s you, Tony and your mates.  Not WE, but YOU !   Arsehole.

The SS Oronsay, 1951

After the Second World War, Australia was particularly accommodating to one class of economic refugee.  These were our Ten Pound Poms – former Prisoners of a devastated Mother England who paid the princely sum of ten quid as their contribution to the Australian government’s cost of shipping their sorry (but none-the-less welcome) arses out from Blighty in (as Gez has said) rather comfortable cruise ships.

As opposed to paying tens of thousands of dollars or kilos of gold to the (now deemed as the lowest life form) people smugglers for the dubious privilege of setting to sea in a massively overloaded fishing boat of dubious provenance with gunwales less than a foot above the drink – for the privilege of facing indefinite detention and possible deportation back to the disaster from which these refugees fled.

Now I think it’s reasonable to imagine that a former refugee might be quite sympathetic towards current refugees.   Say someone whose family had fled a ravaged England after the Second World War.  But not one particular chap whose family sailed on the SS Oronsay in 1960.

Who is that chap ?  Non other than our Leader of the Opposition.  Dr No.  One Tony Abbott – who has raised the bar on hypocrisy to an unimaginable height.

Still, Tony probably has a point.  When he arrived it was a Terra Nullius crying out for immigrants of all kinds.  But these days, after sixty years or so of generous immigration – Gordon O’Donnell, we even used to provide English classes back then – lifeboat Australia is suddenly discovered to be chockers.  Bulging at the seams, we have no other choice but to take a hard line and protect our borders from these almost piratical queue jumping scoundrels.  The 3% who attempt to sail in as opposed to the 97% who fly in and overstay their visas.

So, for saving us from more of his type, we should respond in kind and send Tony back to a post Thatcherite England – a place where he is bound to find a nation willing to embrace his values, speak his language and provide a climate as bleak as his spirit – or apparent lack thereof.

Tony Out NOW !

Here to Help

17 Sunday Jun 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

Archbishop Jensen, arsonists, Cardinal Pell, Chris Uhlmann, crown of thorns starfish, Fatty O'Barrel, Gina Rhinestone, Humboldt Numan, James Packer, Joe Hockey, Julie Bishop, Mark Scott, Nick Darcy, paedophiles, people who abuse small animals, rabbits, Sarah Palin, shock jocks, Silvio Berlusconi, Sophie Mirabella, Ted Baillieu, the Burmese military junta, Tony Abbott, Tony Jones

Quite a few patrons at the Pig’s Arms complain about the ABC’s “The Drum” closing off comments so quickly after an article has been posted, that they cannot get a comment in.

In the spirit of co-operation championed at the Salon de Porc, herewith is a viable solution.  Copy it into your clipboard and fire it off BEFORE the article is published – or use it on any of the remaining open posts there.

I’ve seen some seriously dubious positions put here at the Drum in my time, but surely (insert author’s name if you have time), this one takes the cake.  Never before have we been treated to such an unmitigated neo-fascist rant, completely devoid of substantive evidence and totally without cogent argument.  It would be funny except it clearly wasn’t intended as a joke.

To suggest that even the fundamental premise  of the article (if in fact one can be identified) has any validity, demonstrates a woefully inadequate understanding of social etiquette and the physical laws of our universe.

I abhor ad-hominum attacks and such disgraceful behaviour must not be tolerated. 

Sadly the era of burning people like  (insert appropriate name or remove any of the following that do not apply) James Packer, Tony Jones, Sophie Mirabella, Tony Abbott, Joe Hockey, Fatty O’Barrel, Humboldt Numan, Ted Baillieu, Sarah Palin, Nick Darcy, Gina Rhinestone, the Burmese military junta, Julie Bishop, Cardinal Pell, Archbishop Jensen, Silvio Berlusconi, people who abuse small animals, crown of thorns starfish, rabbits, arsonists, paedophiles, shock jocks, Mark Scott, Chris Uhlmann at the stake is over.

Such is what we laughingly call progress.

—ooo—

Hope this helps !

 

 

The Scum of the Earth

13 Monday Feb 2012

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

Calgon, Gina, Rupert Murdoch, scum, Tony Abbott, Twiggy Forrest

You know what I hate.  What I really, really hate ?

What’s worse than soap scum that builds up in the shower ?

Answer:  The substances only slightly less toxic than nuclear waste or hexavalent chromium (look that up Orica plant neighbours or Erin Brockovitch deniers) – namely supermarket products that boast they can remove soap scum with NO SCRUBBING.

This is complete and utter bullshit.  No such substance exists nowadays.  Go ahead, scrub your arms off, disappointed punters.  Then check yourself into the respiratory department of the local hospital until you grow some lung lining back.

I think, as an act of faith, that if civilisation can invent soap, designed to get rid of dirt, it behoves an industry the size of six or seven Greek economies, sorry, make that nine Greek economies by the time you’ve finished this sentence, to invent a substance to get rid of soap and dirt – or scum to you.

Now, I recall in my salad days there used to be a substance that was supposed to be really good for this purpose.  By accident, the manufacturers or their advertisers discovered that the water softener “Calgon” was an ace remover of soap scum build up in washing machines.

Which is why you can’t find it on the supermarket shelves any more.  Too convenient, I suppose.  Too effective and likely to prevent the sale of a humungous mountain of ersatz soap removers.

So I googled “Calgon” and found a plethora of Wiki info, including stuff like it was invented in 1933, and the formula was changed so that the phosphates didn’t screw up wastewater treatments, probably completely neutering the product, but the only answer to “Wheredoyagettit?” was a five year old reference to Tesco selling it in the home of hard water – namely the UK.

But cop this, lucky punters, the Pig’s Arms research department (ever on the lookout for cleaning products that will enhance the flavour of Trotter’s Ale) have found a Calgon supplier in St Kilda Melbourne.  Get right over there, Ato…..

And they have “companion products for ladies” – including “Morning Glory Shower Gel” – a snip at $5.47 – postage and handling $13.53 (I kid you not).  I thought morning glory was one of Brkon’s responsibilities – but there you go.

In case you think this is a bit limited, they can offer you “Hawaiian Ginger Body Mist” and “AHH Spa Intensive Tropics Body Scrub”.  Where would we be without  marketing boffins ?

Wait !  Did you just read the word “scrub” ?  Oh my, my, my.  The decline of product effectiveness.  Right here.  Right before your eyes.  I’m sorry to report, folks that it falls to us to remain nose to the Mondrian Brothers’ tiles, scrubbers to the individual.

Footnote:  Come on.  No fibbing.  How many of us thought this piece was about Rupert Murdoch, Gina Rhinegold, Twiggy Forrest or Tony Abbott ?   I thought so.

 

Don’t let fat stand in the Way. (of Neo-liberalism and Markets)

10 Monday Oct 2011

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 75 Comments

Tags

Denmark, Finland, MsThorning-Schmidt, Neil Kinnock, Romania, The Australian, Tony Abbott

 

There we go again. I am hardly up hoisting my morning coat on, and what do I see on opening The Australian newspaper ( for art and TV section),  a largish article expanding on the previous week’s news on the Danish Fat Tax (DFT) and giving some rather interesting snippets of insight of a country that likes to prevent rather than react afterwards.

It waxes lyrically on how Finland and Romania are now also going to implement this tax. Now, the curious but very enlightening part of this article is on how those Nordic countries seem to Govern. It’s heart-warming again, isn’t it? First let us reflect that Denmark has taken a turn to the left with a female leader with Ms Thorning-Schmidt, who, nota bene happens to be the daughter in law of the former British Labour leader Neil Kinnock…

Ms Thorning-Schmidt came to power last month promising to increase taxes on banks and high earners to pay for more spending on health and schools. Eyes agog please! She got into power promising to increase taxes! The fat tax had already been introduced by the outgoing conservative government, but to no avail. Their promises of increasing taxation weren’t big enough and they, the practical Danes, booted them out. Can this tale get any better? Yes, it can.

Denmark has a low obesity rate of 10% with a special tax on high sugar content foods such as soft drinks and sweets having been in place for some years. It is the highest taxed of developed countries with a VAT of 25% on top of everything else. With these taxes one would have thought there would be riots and blood on the streets daily, but no, nothing like that on the news lately. On the contrary, I don’t get the impression the Danes are particularly unhappy with their lot.

England is generally known as being loath to take action of any kind too rapidly with their fondness for ‘order, order’ instead, are slowly considering a fat tax as well. Previously, like here in Australia, they preferred to nudge people into better food and eating habits. Any form of tax to force things along is traditionally thought of as forming corrupting ‘Nanny State’ habits, implying that the UK is some kind of dream socially equal paradise already.

With a wild guess that Australia might have had a much lower obesity rate some years ago, it would not be all that unreasonable to assume that our world reputation as the fattest on earth, could have been nipped in the bud by none other than…our intrepid potentially disastrous future leader, the honourable…., I give you……. Tony Abbott…. Order, order,… some years ago.

Yep, that’s right, wasn’t he a health minister, health and ageing some 10 years ago? Before that there were other Liberal Health ministers. While obesity started to impact on general health with a blowing out of associated diseases, nothing was done. Not even the banning of TV advertisements of bad foods during children’s programmes. Nothing must impede the “markets”. (Wasn’t it lovely to read Andrew (Twiggy) Forrest doubled his salary and collected a handy $48.000.000 million in dividends from his company in just the one year, FMG?) Now there is the  market working for you.

With our fondness for Neo-Liberalism and letting Markets do the walking for us we now seem to have reaped a nasty fat bug. That’s of course apart from homelessness, our miserable state of mental health, the aboriginal disaster, old age care, hosts of other collapsing societal benefits including our hostile and unfriendly manner of dealing with a few thousand boat people. Yes, indeed, a more prosperous and freer society but not a more equal society. A bit of a looming lemon really. Oh, for just a bit of Denmark.

To markets, to markets to buy a fat pig…Home again, home again…

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