I love you, our pink slice of heaven.

I’m loving you all through and through.

From your chromium-legged laminex tables

To the Mondrian Brothers’  tiled loo.

I love your pub ceiling yellow

And the tiles that bedeck all your walls

The nourishing pub food sustains me

And the beer puts fat hairs on my balls

I love all the patrons who attend thee

I’m loving our dear Mervyn too

Say hello to the beautiful Janet

Say hello to the Hell’s Angles crew.

And the bands that rock all our socks off

In the Nathan Rees Memorial Ballroom upstairs

I’m fond of the Hedge in the carpark

And the deals done when nobody cares.

I like all the Cooks River Fishies

And most of the Sea Scouts, don’t you ?

And the always-rigged Friday raffle meat tray

Lady bowlers who hang out there too.

Let’s give thanks for our

Wonderful Pig’s Arms

And Bless all who go for the view

The writers and painters and poets

The clowns and philosophers too.

So we can all come and raise up our glasses

Drink a toast to the great Trotter’s Ale

Drink a toast to the friendliest piglets

Drink a toast to the curl in the tail.