Poem by Neville Cole, Digital Wizardry by Warrigal Mirriyuula

I’m sorry for lying about my height

I know adding three inches was simply not right

I’m sorry for saying that I was divorced

I’ll be signing the papers in due course

I’m sorry for pretending I was much younger

Posting all those old photos was a major blunder

I’m sorry I no longer have that much hair

But honestly most women don’t seem to care

And maybe I don’t exercise 5 days a week

I hardly would say I’m a big, fat freak

Still, I hate to imagine what you must think of me

Don’t you see my profile is what I would like to be?

All I did was try to be someone I knew

Who would stand a chance with a girl like you

Having said that, are you really just a social drinker

Who says “no way” to smoking and is a spiritual thinker?

Because I couldn’t help notice how you slammed down the booze

And slurred “get me another” as you kicked off your shoes

In retrospect it wasn’t the perfect first date

Kissing your feet at the bar was a big mistake

I’ve sure learned my lesson. It won’t happen again

Is there even a chance you could still be a friend?

From now on I will follow all the old dating courtesies

Oh, and I’m sorry about giving you genital herpes.