Emmjay puts another one in for the mob.
In a clear display of masterful leadership, the leader of Her Majesty’s Australian Opposition, Bill something has announced the Labor Party’s answer to Tony Abbott bringing back constipation.
This was a shock move mainly because it came from Bill thing, whereas everyone in the press gallery expected Clive to be the one with constipation on his mind.
Bill whatshisname hinted at a firm position he called Labor’s Three Stools Policy. Details are scant, but it is thought that Labor stalwarts are in the process of working things out.
In late breaking
wind news, Bill was heard to say “Oh, conscription ! I thought Tony said constipation”. Albo pointed out to Bill that this was unlikely because the ever-tactful Tony had contrary form, quoting Tony as being renowned for his “Shit happens” line delivered in the face of a sad loss of life.
Sources close to Bill said he was more likely to have be engrossed with a forthcoming white paper – a long, soft white paper, kinder to arseholes than abrasive crap like Tony and that Bill was suddenly caught shorten.