Borrowed from The Shovel on December 18, 2018
Former National Party leader and Deputy Prime Minister, Barnaby Joyce has slammed his colleague, Andrew Broad, for not considering his personal staff for his extramarital affair.
Joyce’s outburst came after allegations were published in New Idea that Broad broke with National Party tradition and relied on a third-party dating website to find suitable partners for his affairs.
‘There’s nothing wrong with the girls we hire!’ Joyce said. ‘I’m disappointed and appalled by Andrew’s lack of judgement’.
Broad, who yesterday resigned as Assistant Minister to the Deputy Prime Minister, Michael McCormack, has expressed deep regret for his actions and vowed to keep future affairs within the National Party family.
‘Our Nat sheilas are real good roots. Dunno why yer wasted good money flyin’ to South East Ayshar, yer dumb bastard. Looka me, I’m retirin’ age an’ I still managed to, not only pull, but get the sheila pregnant!’ A senior figure in the Nationals was overheard during an Akubra Celebration day.
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I’ve just heard that Max Headroom thinks the Mallee Rooter may have a grounds for a defamation case against New Idea.
You simply can’t make this stuff up.
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It looks like the Nationals are a party where the men root anything that moves.
With Barnyard Philanderer on the backbench, they thought they would play it safe and elevate Max Headroom to the Leaders position. Max of course has NFI. Even with Broad who looks to enjoy cooking with sugar and sausages, with a hint of hoisin sauce, he’d known for six weeks about his little peccadilloes, sat there and did nothing.
I see that Annie Oakley would like the seat, but one wonders if the Bayside suburb of Elwood is in the seat of Mallee, or whether she’ll just be a FIFO member.
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Hilarious post, Algy. I liked the Max Headroom ref – you’ve captured the Nat leader perfectly.
And it made me consider Crighton from Red Dwarf as an alternative – except that Crighton has way more personality.
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Yes I like Crighton, but he’s far more intelligent. Had me think maybe Rimmer for Broad, but that might bring up double entendres.
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Adjusts seating in response.
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Well observed. Couldn’t put it any better myself.
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Pure gold!
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