Author Archives: Therese Trouserzoff

What Value is ABC News ? Any Value at All ?

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Cricics, Critics, Everyone's a Critic, Emmjay

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ABC News Reporting Team

Early this morning, the ABC Web site reported that Julian Assange was given asylum by Ecuador.  I was ready to fire off a letter of gratitude to the Ambassador for Ecuador (if in fact Australia has one).

But wait.

No, they reported that the British Newspaper “The Guardian” reported that Assange was to be given asylum by Ecuador.

Later this morning, ABC News ran report of a denial of sorts on Twitter with the President of Ecuador himself denying that Assange had in fact been granted asylum.  In essence the process was said to be still ongoing.

What bozo at the ABC thinks that News reporting amounts to reading stuff other people write and repackaging it as “fact” ?

Where is the value add, ABC ?

Was it too hard to check – like Email the source at the Guardian and ask for a shred of evidence – a scintilla of proof ?

Does the ABC have any credibility at all these days ?

Just a tip ABC News – when I write the piece about the NASA Mars robot discovering little green men, ring up NASA and check before quoting me verbatim.  You never know when somebody might be pulling your leg.

I think I just heard the sound of geese ….. HONK… HONK… HONK…

Individualism and the Rise of Self-harm

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Scott

≈ 21 Comments

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Deliberate Self Harm (DSH)

Editor’s note:  A friend told me an horrendous story that he was working at a client’s office last summer on one of the rare hot days and he noticed one of the young women in his area was wearing a cotton top with long sleeves.  When he said “Isn’t it a bit hot today for long sleeves?” she became somewhat flustered by the comment and insisted that no, she was fine.  During the exchange he noticed that the sleeves of her shirt had several spots that looked a lot like blood stains.  He later found out from another young woman that the first girl had for some months been cutting her own arms with a razor blade.

Scott Probst is a psychologist who works in child and adolescent mental health.   This is story.

What is self-harm? This is when a person deliberately hurts themselves with some kind implement to cause pain and injury. Who does this? Men and women, as well as young people, both male and female. The people who harm themselves seem to be skewed towards being more younger than older, and more female than male, although it is hard to be definite about this. Why do people do this? My own experience in speaking with them professionally is that there are a few common reasons.

First, they seek to decrease very large amounts of emotional pain by inflicting physical pain on themselves – harming themselves ‘lets the pain out’ in some sense. This works reliably for a lot of people – this is why they keep doing it. Second, they seek to feel real, as they feel either numb from the impact of trauma and neglect, or feel so totally overwhelmed by emotion that they feel they are losing contact with the world around them. In some cases, people self-harm in order to lessen the feelings they might have about killing themselves – it’s the lessor of two evils. This isn’t an exhaustive list – there are other reasons people do these things to themselves and they are slightly different for every person.

While the fact that a proportion of people harm themselves deliberately has gradually been percolating through the public consciousness in recent years, deliberate self-harm has been a known fact of life for many in the health and mental health professions for a number of years. So common is this behaviour that there is a common acronym for it – DSH, short for “deliberate self-harm.” People have self-harmed for many years; my working life covers about 30 years, and it certainly was not unknown at the beginning of that time.

There are accounts that this behaviour is becoming more common, which is a disturbing thought. While I’ve not seen reliable statistics about this, there are certainly a lot of people harming themselves deliberately, and many of them on a regular basis. For a number of reasons it is very hard to know if it is becoming more common or not – most obviously, many people who do this avoid letting anyone else know. Also, statistics are often only based on people who present to hospital with damage from self-harm, which does not really tell us much about others who may be harming themselves without having to go to hospital. A quick search on the internet will return numbers from different countries that indicate different trends, according to how these estimates are made.

Psychologists are in the business of trying to figure out why people behave the way they do, and then attempting to help change the things that cause their clients problems. So of course there has been a great deal of discussion and research over the years into the causes of self-harm and ways to help people out of this cycle. I’m not going to go into this here; much of it is freely available on the Internet and is there to be read in one’s own time. A couple of starting points are: Reach Out and Kids Helpline, which provide support for young people over a range of issues. There is even some peer-reviewed research available online for free, such as this article from the Medical Journal of Australia. This site for America’s National Self Injury Awareness Day provides access to some information about the level of the problem in that country.

I’m interested in the link between the rise of the ‘cult of the individual’ and things like self-harm.

What is this cult? I think it has a number of aspects. Most obviously, there can be not much doubt that we are living in an age of entitlement; usually aimed at the government, we feel we should be given more and more help, usually in the form of money, and pay less and less in the form of tax. The concept of ‘the social contract’ has itself contracted, till it is tiny, nearly invisible. The idea that we might be in some kind of relationship with everyone around us, where we give a little and they get a little, and vice versa, seems archaic and almost curious to many people.

This entitlement extends in many directions besides the most obvious ideas about money. One of the most frequently heard phrases in public debate, or general discussion of any kind, is an expression along the lines of “I’m entitled to my opinion.” It’s odd that people even say this, as most of us, in previous times, would actually take it for granted. What this statement seems to really signify when people say this is that having their opinion means that others have to accept it, and agree with it. Argument, much less criticism, is not acceptable. We are entitled to say whatever we like, without having to brook any discussion from others. And often enough, opinion is taken to be a legitimate reason to act, regardless of the opinion of others or any actual evidence that might be available.

My sense is that these kinds of entitlement are part of a larger picture across society, where old orders have been in the process of breaking down for generations. These orders – church, state, cultural dictates – were not necessarily good in their own right, however they provided obvious binding values of behaviour that we were meant to conform to. As these dictates have faded away, they have been replaced mostly by a radical kind of individualism, where we are entitled – in fact, required – to claim as much as we can for our own and leave as little as we can for others. This individualism rises as much out of lack of alternatives as anything else. A concrete example of this might be the Christian Church: while we are almost weekly subject to horrific stories of abuse committed and ignored, we are also much less subject to ideas such as “love thy neighbour.” In the latter case, there are no similar messages coming forward to encourage the idea that we might take some responsibility for the welfare of others.

The effect on this is that while we are superficially much more free to do anything we like, we are also much less supported to be the people we need to be. We have failed to replace the strictures of the old social order with things we need to have a place in the world. We have instead replaced it with the idea of ‘the individual’.

As I alluded to earlier, there are good outcomes of the fading of the old order. More and more there is equality between the sexes, for example, in terms of career, social behaviour and responsibility for family life. I like this very much. Some of the emerging equalities, however, have been disturbing and we see evidence for this. Women and girls, for example, are committing violent assaults at rates never seen before – in an era when the rate of these is falling overall. Women, I understand, are also suffering more heart attacks than before. I would have liked to see both of these trends reversed – men committing fewer assault and having fewer heart attacks and so achieving equality in those ways – however it seems we have managed to doom ourselves to some kind of atavistic race to the bottom in terms of human behaviour.

Some people will see this as a pleading for the Good Old Days. They could not be more wrong; many evil, malignant and spiteful forces were at work then, and we are still paying the price now, such as in the continuing saga of the Church and sexual abuse. What it is though, is an observation that if we continue to worship The Individual as the single desirable outcome for ourselves, we will in fact be killing ourselves, emotionally and literally.

How does this link to self-harm? If we regard self-harm as driven in large part by emotional pain, and stop to consider that isolation is one of the contributing factors to emotional pain, and that strong social support is a recognised antidote to distress, then I think this begins to be plain. Some young people, in many ways, are isolated. They have parents who have had 30 years or so of conditioning to look after themselves rather than form communities; many of the messages they see tell them to be everything, do everything, have everything, but give no clues as to how to be themselves. For all the wonders of today’s world, with media, connectivity and information at every turn, the complexities of today’s life is hair raising. Many young people respond by being smarter than we were at their age, more switched on and sophisticated by far than we were; others are left with superficial experiences that do not make them feel like they are part of anything. These young people, the sizable fraction left alone and with no support, are the ones who self-harm.

One of the most compelling pieces of evidence that supports this that I’ve seen for myself is that very often, young people who self-harm form their own communities. That is, they go to each other for support, and many of them are very open about the fact that they do this because they get no support from the other people around them.  Some of these communities are in the schools, some are online, and some are on the streets. This is not a message that needs decoding. Sometimes this grouping together is seen as some kind of morbid subculture where young people devolve into an orgy of self-indulgent misery and frightening behaviour. To be sure, given that they are adolescent there are elements of self-imposed exile and exaggerated suffering in some cases, however it is making a grave error to think this explains everything that young people do.

So what now? Should we be less individual? My outlook on this is that we should at least be a little less self-absorbed. We need to look at our collective sense of entitlement and wonder what we can spare for others. We should be acting differently towards each other and our children. We should be taking responsibility for each other and the world in some subtle but important ways, and valuing qualities such as integrity and honesty a great deal more than we do.

Instructions

14 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 12 Comments

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Avalon

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

At fifteen I took a part-time job on Sundays and an unexpected bonus was no longer being able to go to Sunday School. But it didn’t end there. There was still another ritual to get through. After consultation with the Nuns I was instructed to go to the Nun’s house on Saturday afternoons until I had received the necessary instruction. The Nun’s house had a parlour, a close laced-in room that got too much sun.

I was expecting something, I have to say. Sure the Sunday School hadn’t taught me anything startling, but I was still expecting something. I think I thought that they would be giving me some part of the puzzle that I didn’t have, that piece that seems small and without importance but that makes the other pieces pull together. That would make this religion thing finally make sense. The Nun sat down and began. We can see something in you. You should become a Nun. After some weeks – how many weeks I do not remember – they let me go, released me back into the pool. You’re ready, they said.

Wait, WAIT! I was here on my precious Saturday afternoons for this? I thought they were going to teach me something I didn’t already know. That was no miracle.

Wall of Sound

10 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by in Algernon, Bands at the Pig's Arms, Entertainment Upstairs

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Playlist by Algernon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzhbGaCwBzs

Be my baby –The Ronettes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiiyq2xrSI0

Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnCDo0LF1aM

Da Do Ron Ron – The  Crystals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzI5Ghrtmx4

River Deep Mountain High – Ike and Tina Turner

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osVaF4t-zFc

I only want to be with you – Dusty Springfield

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCeD_6Y3GQc

Good Vibrations – Beach boys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj_9CiNkkn4

Waterloo – ABBA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AzEY6ZqkuE

Everybody’s Talkin – Harry Nilsson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LneBIOa9B8s

The Long and Winding Road – The Beatles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3t9SfrfDZM

Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9hLcRU5wE4

Bat out of Hell – Meatloaf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiygaIWqiQE

Death of a Ladies Man – Leonard Cohen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQb9sWuWFqU

Rock and Roll High School – The Ramones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZUzJoiS7sA

Welcome to the Pleasuredome –  Frankie goes to Hollywood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy3fsj-aGWw

Slave to the Rhythm- Grace Jones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fglU5Ngd-Pk

Silence is easy – Starsailor

 

the cicada

07 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 5 Comments

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Fracture

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

the evening of the fireworks festival, sitting on the front stop eating a cob of corn. all the shops festival food tables lining the street, a boy in a golden beer costume shouting for customers. the young boy in yukata shrieked when the cicada dropped heavily onto the hot road underneath the bicycle. he squatted down desperately wanting to touch it. here, I called, held out the plastic container to him. back at the bicycle he opened and closed it and wailed that it wouldn’t stay shut, but I was already searching the plastic bag for the rubber band. here. scared to touch it, trying to figure out how to get it into the container. the boy in the golden beer costume reached down and pulled it up. dropped it in the container, stretched the rubber band around it. off the boy went. down the street. up to my window went I.

 

Namah’s no more: The rise and fall of a would-be dictator.

07 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Politics in the Pig's Arms, Susan Merrell

≈ 14 Comments

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Bye Bye

By Susan Merrell

It’s known as the ‘Land of the Unexpected’ – a character-defining phrase worn as a badge of honour by Papua New Guineans.

‘Expect the unexpected’ is the catch-cry of the PNG Tourism Authority – but he didn’t !

Belden Norman Namah had high expectations that a combination of unharnessed power, bullying, self-serving, rushed legislation that would nobble his political opponents and buckets of money ($AU15 million alone spent on his election campaign) would mean certain success in his quest to become the Prime Minister of what would be, after the June 2012 elections, the indisputably legal government of Papua New Guinea.  The expectations remain unfulfilled.

Political Ascendancy

When newly-elected MPs walked into the parliamentary chamber for the first time since the election last Friday (August 3), it had been almost a year to the day since Namah had led a political coup and become Deputy Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea in a legally-disputed government

A self-confessed “Multi-billion-dollar logger” who was not only Deputy Prime Minister but also Minister for Forestry  (after having held the portfolio in the previous government of Sir Michael Somare – tell me the irony hasn’t been lost) he had expended much cash and energy to bring about the coup.  He was widely touted as the possible saviour of PNG.  He promised PNG a new “young and vibrant” leadership.

PNG got far more than it had bargained for.

Ruthless and arrogant, not for Belden Namah the niceties of diplomacy. A military man, Namah takes no prisoners, leaves no bridge unburned.  His raw ambition was palpable and no one would stand in his way – his fortune guaranteed that – or so he thought as he bulldozed his way through the next twelve months.  Prepared to do whatever it took to hold onto power, he seemed unstoppable.

Namah’s errors of judgment and decency (and this list is not exhaustive)…

Namah’s lack of diplomacy extended to his coalition partners (government is always a coalition in PNG – the party system being weak.).  Public humiliation was a well-used weapon in his arsenal.  Within months, for example, on national radio, he called for the resignation of the Prime Minister to whom he was deputy. It was the first Prime Minister O’Neill had heard of Namah’s displeasure.  The rift was quickly patched up but it left scars.

To Don Polye, the former Deputy Prime Minister under the Somare regime, then a Minister in the O’Neill/Namah government, Namah gave the command in earshot of journalists at a National Executive Council (NEC) meeting to”…f**king shut up”, when Polye had the temerity to disagree with Namah.  In fact, it is widely reported that Namah would, without mincing words, remind the members of the NEC who it was that had put them there.

He was no less outrageous in how he dealt with the people of his electorate.

For while Namah eventually won his seat this election, he was initially trailing badly in some districts – before his final romp home on preferences. In his victory speech he acknowledged the districts that didn’t vote for him by telling them of his intention to represent, in parliament, only the districts that had voted for him – not the whole electorate.  Those that hadn’t could look forward to”…five years of suffering”  (five years is the parliamentary term).

Internationally, and during his tenure, the man had embarrassed the people of PNG and his government when a previous drunken, debauched episode at Sydney’s Star Casino made headlines in Australian newspapers.

It wasn’t confined to Australia either: tensions between Indonesia and PNG were manifest when a private jet flying Namah and a coterie of ‘hangers on’ was buzzed by Indonesian fighter jets.  It is widely suspected that it had something to do with large amounts of cash that was on board (literally millions) and an Indonesian fugitive suspected to have been on the flight.  No one has told the truth behind this incident – not Indonesia, not Namah.

Back home in Port Moresby, in May of this year, Namah violated the sanctity of the PNG courts in his vendetta against the Chief Justice (who had ruled the government formed after the coup as illegal – twice).  Namah stormed into the Supreme Court, interrupting the court while it was in session leading a contingent of soldiers and police.

From the back of the court Namah pointed at the Chief Justice and shouted: “Arrest him.  Arrest him”.

Namah’s henchmen hesitated, recognising the enormity of what they were about to do, giving Sir Salamo Injia, Chief Justice of Papua New Guinea a window of opportunity to leave via a side door and avoid the ignominy of being arrested in his own court.  This action was condemned both nationally and internationally.

But it was a timely onslaught as Sir Salamo Injia was scheduled to preside over a charge of Contempt of Court charge against Namah later that day.  He never did.

…proves his downfall

Under the circumstances, why Namah expected that the top job was going to be his for the taking is anyone’s guess.  But he did.

During the ‘horsetrading’ period after the elections, (between when seats have been declared and government is formed) when alliances and coalitions are moulded and where the stronger parties do the necessary to attract numbers, doubt had obviously crept in as Namah’s PNG Party took out a full-page advertisement in the national newspapers inviting newly-elected members to join the party.  Namah stated that he would be amenable to giving away the Prime Ministership – as if it were his to give.

It was desperation.

Namah’s previous coalition partner and former Prime Minister Peter O’Neill held prime position with his party winning most seats, (hence would be invited to form the government by the Governor-General). In fact O’Neill had three times more winning MPs than Namah whose party had fared particularly badly, including losing one of his deputies.

O’Neill’s coalition would not be entertaining Namah making it almost certain that Namah would not be in government at all.  O’Neill had the numbers approx. 80/10.

Yet Namah’s supporters held to the futile hope that he would produce an 11th hour upset – such a figure of legend had he become.

On Friday 3 August 2012, on the floor of the parliament, Namah’s rejection for Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea was manifest. The newly sworn in MPs voted 94-12 in favour of O’Neill as Papua New Guinea’s next Prime Minister.  Namah’s arrogance had not served him well. A pathetic figure, he sat amongst 11 other men in a field of 111 (that, happily, included two women on the government side).

In this I played my part

This writer has spent 9 months waging a media campaign against this man in the PNG social media pages and the blogosphere, I’m extremely pleased with the outcome for PNG and am proud of any small part I may have played in his downfall.

In the immediate aftermath, in the social media, I posted.

“On 1 August 2011, Belden Namah was Leader of PNGs Opposition. Almost a year to the day, 3 August 2012, he is, once again, Leader of the Opposition.
In the interim he’s spent probably upwards of 50 million kina on a political coup (only partially successful) and an election campaign that gave him back his seat and not much else.

In the interim he has decimated a political party who went into the elections with 25 sitting members which is now reduced to around nine.

This is probably the most spectacular failure I’ve ever witnessed. ”

“A failure well deserved”

War

03 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by in Algernon, Bands at the Pig's Arms, Entertainment Upstairs

≈ 21 Comments

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Playlist by Algernon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp6tzQ4R1tg

Birds over the white cliffs of Dover –Vera Lynn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hLnj4IFBHY&feature=related

When the Lights go on again – Vera Lynn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Cgc1f-B4co&feature=related

Lili Marleen – Marlene Deitrich

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpQytAWi8HI&feature=relatedSt

St Louis Blues March – Glenn Miller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pfCFU3Mqww

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B – Andrew Sisters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q1yyoe377k

’39 – Queen

(not a war song just a great ballad)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-2pNCZiNk

War – Edwin Starr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SM1CoGst7C0

Roll Call – Johnny Cash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG48Ftsr3OI

The Band played Waltzing Matilda – Eric Bogle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urtiyp-G6jY

I was only nineteen – Redgum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSGvqjVHik8&feature=fvst

19 – Paul Hardcastle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuPrrdRzlxc

Shipbuilding – Elvis Costello

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-qcy0-7ngw

Spanish Bombs – The Clash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5XJ2GiR6Bo&ob=av3e

Enola Gay – Orchestral Manoeuvres in the dark

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg2Sp1UHGGw

Blowin in the Wind – Bob Dylan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

Turn Turn Turn – The Byrds

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KC7uhMY9s

What’s Going on – Marvin Gaye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYEsFQ_gt7c

Universal Soldier – Buffy Sainte Marie

Mega Spam-o-Rama

31 Tuesday Jul 2012

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

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Dear Patrons of la maison de porc,  every day our little watering hole is protected from SPAM by the wonderful Akismet software that detects and puts in a holding pen (where else for a Pork Product ? Maybe a sty ?) just about all of the shit and very few of the wanted pearls.

I do check before I throw out the daily catch of SPAM.  Just in case you are curious, so far Akismet has filtered out over 40,000 pieces of SPAM – almost as many as the number of genuine comments – and I use that term rather liberally.

Akismet costs us just $1.04 a week.  Brilliant, eh.

For our benefit, today some complete arsehole sent us not just a sentence or two, but their whole effing SPAM database.  For your edification – if, you’re terminally bored – read on !

There is some interesting psychology in there.  Praise for the blogger (really generalised) and (bogus) question-asking (preying on people’s good nature and willingness to help).  Some of these kill me.  I mean, praise for Father O’Way’s advice as being helpful really does suggest substance abuse in the commenter doesn’t it ?

But the surprising point, in my view is that these things always trip up with grammatical errors or aphasic turns of phrase that just miss the mark by a gnat’s hoof. It’s curious too, because people who are clearly clever enough to hack blogs and other interweb tube thingies, are also too dumb to get a pal who can write decent Engelsh to make the con work.

Some don’t even try for a mangle of the Queen’s Engelch and when comments show up at the palais de porkiness in Russian, I’m pretty sure that their views about Father O’Way are at very best speculative.

More than that, these comments are overwhelmingly predictable to the extent that a piece of software can spot the vast majority of SPAM a mile off.

So, for your delight and surprise and as way of avoiding the Olympics, The Pig’s Arms proudly presents:  Mega Spam-o-Rama.

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And it’s GOLD – for Bad Sportsmanship

30 Monday Jul 2012

Posted by in Emmjay, The Sports Bar

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

,

Eddie the Eagle – a good bad sportsman represented England in the Giant Whoosh – came last but lived to tell the tale, sorry, to sell the Ale.

Look at it this way; in a couple of weeks it’ll all be over for another four years.

I have nothing against elite athletes.  If a person wants to spend her every waking minutes swimming in unison with a bunch of other mad smiling people, far be it from me to trivialise it and say unkind things like “get a life” or “shave off that mo!”

No, seriously, the multi-media have gone wild, not so much about the triumphs of the athletes (ours and theirs) as they have about dropping HUGE buckets of sh1t on superb athletes who were supposed to win, but didn’t.

How embarrassing was it that our non-favoured girls won gold and pipped the Dutch and Seppos.  I mean, it’s such an affront that the Yanks will more than likely pull their marines out of the Northern Territory in protest.

And the American uber-fish Phelps.  What a nerve !  Not even a podium finish.  Cripes we’d better race out and buy Sportsbet shares on the strength of that.

Wasn’t it uncomfortable that Australians beat someone at table tennis and sailing women found they had accidentally eclipsed the Ruskis and the Spaniards – not surprising the latter, I guess since the Germans repossessed their wind.

Maybe the saddest thing of all was the British cyclists who not only didn’t win, but complained that the Aussies rode a spoiling race!  Well, yes, the Aussies didn’t win either and the fact that the Brits didn’t bother splitting from the peloton and chasing the lead group – who oddly failed to slow down to let them catch up and win, is surely bad sportsmanship and a real fucker for the sponsors of the British team.  Calls for Brad and Cav to “Go Home” were silenced when the normally astute and renowned sports nation of Great Britain remembered that their bikers were in fact already home, if not exactly hosed.

Aussie tennis stars didn’t.  Who beat them to a pulp ?  A Japanese chap and, er, I dunno, I don’t think it was mentioned who pulped Sam – just that she – incredibly – lost.

Did I mention the unbeatable Hockeyroos ? Or the Boomers ?  Lost.  Lost.  The greatest Australian shame; losing at any sport to any other national team. Unforgiveable.

Horsey types ?  Lame.  Lame.  But oddly looking good for silver at getting dressed or something stylish in the saddle.

And the boys’ 4 X 100 Dream Team.  Beaten by the French – of all people !  And the Seppos and The Tierra del Fuegans.  Oh, the shame, the unrelenting shame.

But the winning piece of bad sportsmanship surely goes to the media gurus who think it’s hilarious to bag out the oarsman from some desert-bound African claypan for being really crap at sculling – comparing him to their other loser-darlings “Eric the Eel” and “Eddie the Eagle” who are, one gathers notorious for their singular lack of skill in their chosen sport to represent their respective “non-sporting, just struggling to survive while western countries plunder our natural resources” countries.

And to cap off the emerging whingeing Olympics, let’s not forget the Chinese domination of the gold (and the bronze and the silver) medal tallies.  We all know that you can’t beat people three times your own size on a diet of boiled rice and fried crickets.  It’s steroids, surely, isn’t it ?  OK, for table tennis, it’s speed AND steroids.

So, keep your eyes peeled and your ears tuned to the commentary and report in your own favourite Gold medal excuse for getting beaten when the so called experts said it could never happen.

Let’s hope the Australian arrow shooters can stay on their feet, otherwise we’ll have to lament Australia’s fallen archers.

I know, it’s not over yet until we see another monster cheese-fest closing ceremony.

When I say “we”, I mean you, I’m out in the shed practising whingeing and saying disparaging things – I’m shooting for a fourth place in the turd-throwing at the 2016 Olympics.  My best effort so far goes along the lines of “No, losing is character-building and I’m sure that <insert Australian athlete or team here> will come back from this stronger than ever” (unlike the foreign devil winners, whose stories will encase tomorrow’s fish and chips before they fade from the annals of history because , well, they never carried the green and gold, did they ?)

Or thankfully a microphone, TV camera, smart phone or laptop.

A MATCH.COM APOLOGY

27 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by in Neville Cole, Warrigal Mirriyuula

≈ 6 Comments

Tags


Poem by Neville Cole, Digital Wizardry by Warrigal Mirriyuula

I’m sorry for lying about my height

I know adding three inches was simply not right

I’m sorry for saying that I was divorced

I’ll be signing the papers in due course

I’m sorry for pretending I was much younger

Posting all those old photos was a major blunder

I’m sorry I no longer have that much hair

But honestly most women don’t seem to care

And maybe I don’t exercise 5 days a week

I hardly would say I’m a big, fat freak

Still, I hate to imagine what you must think of me

Don’t you see my profile is what I would like to be?

All I did was try to be someone I knew

Who would stand a chance with a girl like you

Having said that, are you really just a social drinker

Who says “no way” to smoking and is a spiritual thinker?

Because I couldn’t help notice how you slammed down the booze

And slurred “get me another” as you kicked off your shoes

In retrospect it wasn’t the perfect first date

Kissing your feet at the bar was a big mistake

I’ve sure learned my lesson. It won’t happen again

Is there even a chance you could still be a friend?

From now on I will follow all the old dating courtesies

Oh, and I’m sorry about giving you genital herpes.