Author Archives: Therese Trouserzoff

The Small Monster Blocks

03 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

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Small Monster Building Blocks

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

The ant with his whole world carried on his back struggles at life. The world is heavy, the only way to make it easier is to make blocks. Each of these blocks contains a task that needs to be done. Publicity is a block, keeping the house clean is a block, preparing classes is a block, the maintenance of pets is a block. Once each of these blocks is constructed and set in motion, it will carry on automatically, not halted by anything but the largest obstacle. In this way the ant has learned the use of tools, extending his six legs with autonomous blocks. Small monster blocks.

A Cloud Across His Face

27 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

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A Cloud Covers His Face (2)

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Every ant we see is carrying a small world on his back. You didn’t know? It’s easy enough to tell once you do. Every so often they slow down a little and stretch out their aching back. That’s all. One tiny gesture. Go outside and find one, and and watch for a while.

We don’t see the ants that don’t carry a world. They haven’t fallen yet. Still up in the clouds. Golden hued. Not yet afraid of heights.

VIVIENNE’s Thoughts and Recipes for Autumn

27 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by in The Dining Room, Vivienne

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I feel that Autumn is a time for being re-inspired in the kitchen.  If it has been too hot and humid for a long time, cooking (for me anyway) often becomes a bit of a chore in as much as I really would like a magic wand.  Sometimes I find myself making a potato salad (with cream and mayo and spring onions), throwing together a tossed salad and then cutting up a bought chicken or just cooking a decent piece of steak.  Sometimes I ask my husband ‘what would you like to cook tonight darling?”

Right now the hot and humid days have finally gone and energy is coming back.  Here are some of my favourites for weekend family eating.

Shami Kebabs (lamb meatballs)

For this I suggest you ask your butcher to bone out a leg of lamb, skin it and put it through the coarse mincer (not fine).   About 600g will make plenty as a snack for 4. (The remainder goes in the freezer.)

Put 3 slices of white bread (crust removed) in a bowl and add milk to soak until it is mush.  Pour off any milk and squeeze till bread no longer drips.   Mix the meat and bread together and add the following:

  • 1 medium onion, very finely chopped
  • 3 cloves of crushed garlic
  • 1 inch chunk of fresh ginger, grated
  • 2 teaspoons of garam masala
  • 1 teaspoon of chilli powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon black pepper
  • 1-2 tablespoons of fresh chopped mint
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tablespoon of plain flour

Mix very well.   Form into small balls about the size of a walnut (definitely no more than 3cms diameter).   Traditionally about three of these would be threaded onto a metal or bamboo skewer and then deep fried.  However, I think it is easier (and possibly safer) to just shallow fry individual balls in peanut oil, fairly quickly.   It doesn’t take long.  Drain on absorbent paper and keep warm until you have finished doing a number of batches (you can’t do them all at once).

Great eaten hot, warm or cold – as a snack or part of a bigger spread.  Mango chutney goes well as does a minty yoghurt.

American style Pork Ribs

The trick to this dish is finding the right spare ribs.  I really do mean RIBS – they don’t have a lot of meat on them so you need to be fairly discerning in picking out the best.  My butcher doesn’t have them but I usually find them at the Safeway meat section.  Ridiculously expensive at $5-7 for just one slab of them.  To feed four people I need five or six packets.

Place ribs in a large baking dish and pop into medium hot oven to cook about ¾ through.  Add nothing, just the ribs.  The purpose is actually to cook out any fat.  Take pieces out and cut into sections of 4 or 5 ribs each.  Clean out the baking dish and arrange rib pieces side by side.   Mix the following together in a bowl:

  • About 150 ml of golden syrup
  • ½  teaspoon of cayenne pepper
  • ½  teaspoon of salt and a little pepper
  • 2 cloves of crushed garlic (more if you like)
  • 2 tablespoons of tomato paste
  • 1 ½ tablespoons of dijon mustard

Coat the top side of the ribs with this mixture and cook in oven till it becomes sticky.  Turn ribs over and coat the other side and cook again till sticky.

The mixture can be increased proportionately to fit the quantity of ribs you are cooking.  The above amount probably is just enough for 4 sets of ribs.

Serve with a little boiled rice and salad or whatever takes your fancy.

 

Duck de Chirico

Duck with Muscat-Honey Sauce

Buy a good duck such as Luv-a-Duck (size 20-22) which is sufficient for four people.

Place in baking dish, sprinkle with salt and then into medium hot oven.  Cook for about three hours, turning occasionally, sprinkling more salt and pricking here and there to release fat.  About 2/3rds of the way through reduce oven temperature a little.  You want the duck well cooked but not ruined.  This is a sort of confit style.

While duck is cooking boil at least one potato per person until at least half done.  Peel and cut into large cubes.  About 30 minutes before you are ready to eat, heat a large pan and add butter and the potatoes plus salt (Murray River flakes if you have them).  Turn about every now and then till crisping up.     Also prepare whatever other vegetable you might like or preferably make a really good mixed greens salad with cherry tomatoes, slices of pear, shaved real parmesan etc.

Now for this part you need to take care – remove duck to large plate and then drain off the fat in the pan into a jar for use later.   You should wind up with at least half a cup of total duck juices.   Put these juices into a small saucepan on the stove top.  Add equal quantities of Muscat (about $10 for a bottle of Chambers regular muscat) and honey (about the same quantity as the juices you have saved).

Cook and stir till it starts to foam.  Remove from heat and let settle so you can test taste.  It should be about right – sweet and yum.

Cut duck up into quarters or carve if you prefer.  Carefully share out the sauce for each serving.    Make your plate look nice and have an appropriate good wine to accompany (my favourite sparkling Shiraz-Durif goes down particularly well).

—ooo—

Euronews/NoComment

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by in Politics in the Pig's Arms, The Public Bar

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I posted a comment over at the Crikey video of the day, praising the work of ordinary folks who filmed the Christchurch disaster live from their mobile phones and posted faster on Youtube than any of the mainstream media.

More than that, there was no offensive bullshit halfwit news reportage a la ABC 24 hours.  There were the images – use your own mind to assess what you see.  No explanation needed.  Not helpful for some talking head to say how awful it all was.

“Lambkins” added a useful tip – that Euronews has a comparable segment called “no comment”.

So I had a peep – for example – surprised to hear what’s happening in Egypt as far as the important ancient site tourism.  I was wondering if I might ever get to see the pyramids and Valley of the Kings – and catch up with both the Emmlets who have been there independently….

“At euronews we believe in the intelligence of our viewers and we think that the mission of a news channel is to deliver facts without any opinion or bias, so that the viewers can make their own opinion on world events.

We also think that sometimes images need no explanation or commentary, which is why we created No Comment and now No Comment TV: to show the world from a different angle…”

And so we have   Euronews no comment

Check it out

The Hanged Man

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

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The Hanged Man

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Here’s what I learned, in my ant struggles. It is not enough to give up. You need to be mercilessly diligent in your efforts to not give up. Sure, it may seem like an eternal hassle to get that phone company to do something about your problem. And it will be: that’s not the point. The point is that as long as there is something that can be done, there will be something that you can do. No more frustration at the impossibility of everything. You need to turn each dumb-arse impasse of service into a breathtaking new canyon of possibilities with a far horizon. Yes, we’re talking doco-more. A Soft Bank of them to land on. The Aye! Phone.

Start at the bottom, with the first point of contact, and continue with it until it takes you up a step. Understand that that step has been introduced merely to give you a place to step down to. Step down if you must. Then start again. This time you might find another step. Take that. Understand that it’s merely a way to provide you with a chute by which to slide down to the bottom. Slide down if you must. Each time you meet the impasse, try to get a sense of what’s ahead. Before you go down again I mean. Next time, aim for the other side.

What you discover after a time, if you don’t get frustrated, if you choose not to see a wall, is that there are probably going to be ways, and some people some times are going to get along a bit. Your goal cannot be the fulfilment and resolution of the original problem. Most likely you are not going to manage that. Is that important? You need a new goal: understanding and entering the system. It’s a different kind of win. But much more entertaining. By all means Hang. But do a bit of hacking while you’re about it.

Alternative Energy Sources: With Will There’s A Way

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by in Warrigal Mirriyuula

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© XKCD (I borrowed this cartoon from: http://xkcd.com/556/)

Story Edited by Warrigal

It’s been a matter of some perplexity to me that governments and industry the world over have failed to pick the low hanging alternative energy fruit. While solar rebates and subsidies for domestic solar cell installation have enjoyed mixed success here in Australia and similar schemes operate globally, there seems to be a general blindness to the full potential of these existing technologies.

So if I said that a recent paper from no less august an institution than Stanford sets out a clear path to an alternative green energy future that would save perhaps as many as 3 million lives a year and simultaneously halt global warming, reduce air and water pollution and develop secure, reliable energy sources; nearly all with existing technology, and at costs comparable with what we spend on energy today you’d have to be pretty interested wouldn’t you. Further we can achieve all that according to this study by converting the world to sustainable and renewable energy sources and completely obviate the need for burning fossil fuels.

The new study co-authored by Stanford researcher Mark Z. Jacobson and Mark A. Delucchi sets out a scheme for achieving exactly that.

“Based on our findings, there are no technological or economic barriers to converting the entire world to clean, renewable energy sources,” said Jacobson, a professor of civil and environmental engineering. “It is a question of whether we have the societal and political will.”

Jacobson and Delucchi, of the University of California-Davis, have written a two-part paper in the publication Energy Policy, in which they assess the costs, technology and material requirements of converting the planet, using the plan they developed.

The world they envision would run largely on electricity. Their plan calls for using wind, water and solar energy to generate power, with wind and solar power contributing 90 percent of the needed energy.

Geothermal and hydroelectric sources would each contribute about 4 percent in their plan (70 percent of the hydroelectric is already in place), with the remaining 2 percent from wave and tidal power.

Vehicles, ships and trains would be powered by electricity and hydrogen fuel cells. Aircraft would run on liquid hydrogen. Homes would be cooled and warmed with electric heaters — no more natural gas or coal — and water would be preheated by the sun.

Commercial processes would be powered by electricity and hydrogen. In all cases, the hydrogen would be produced from electricity. Thus, wind, water and sun would power the world.

The researchers approached the conversion with the goal that by 2030, all new energy generation would come from wind, water and solar, and by 2050, all pre-existing energy production would be converted as well.

“We wanted to quantify what is necessary in order to replace all the current energy infrastructure — for all purposes — with a really clean and sustainable energy infrastructure within 20 to 40 years,” said Jacobson.

One of the benefits of the plan is that it results in a 30 percent reduction in world energy demand since it involves converting combustion processes to electrical or hydrogen fuel cell processes. Electricity is much more efficient than combustion.

That reduction in the amount of power needed, along with the millions of lives saved by the reduction in air pollution from elimination of fossil fuels, would help keep the costs of the conversion down.

“When you actually account for all the costs to society — including medical costs — of the current fuel structure, the costs of our plan are relatively similar to what we have today,” Jacobson said.

One of the biggest hurdles with wind and solar energy is that both can be highly variable, which has raised doubts about whether either source is reliable enough to provide “base load” energy, the minimum amount of energy that must be available to customers at any given hour of the day.

Jacobson said that the variability can be overcome.

“The most important thing is to combine renewable energy sources into a bundle,” he said. “If you combine them as one commodity and use hydroelectric to fill in gaps, it is a lot easier to match demand.”

Wind and solar are complementary, Jacobson said, as wind often peaks at night and sunlight peaks during the day. Using hydroelectric power to fill in the gaps, as it does in our current infrastructure, allows demand to be precisely met by supply in most cases. Other renewable sources such as geothermal and tidal power can also be used to supplement the power from wind and solar sources.

“One of the most promising methods of insuring that supply matches demand is using long-distance transmission to connect widely dispersed sites,” said Delucchi. Even if conditions are poor for wind or solar energy generation in one area on a given day, a few hundred miles away the winds could be blowing steadily and the sun shining.

“With a system that is 100 percent wind, water and solar, you can’t use normal methods for matching supply and demand. You have to have what people call a supergrid, with long-distance transmission and really good management,” he said.

Another method of meeting demand could entail building a bigger renewable-energy infrastructure to match peak hourly demand and use the off-hours excess electricity to produce hydrogen for the industrial and transportation sectors.

Using pricing to control peak demands, a tool that is used today, would also help.

Jacobson and Delucchi assessed whether their plan might run into problems with the amounts of material needed to build all the turbines, solar collectors and other devices.

They found that even materials such as platinum and the rare earth metals, the most obvious potential supply bottlenecks, are available in sufficient amounts. And recycling could effectively extend the supply.

“For solar cells there are different materials, but there are so many choices that if one becomes short, you can switch,” Jacobson said. “Major materials for wind energy are concrete and steel and there is no shortage of those.”

Jacobson and Delucchi calculated the number of wind turbines needed to implement their plan, as well as the number of solar plants, rooftop photovoltaic cells, geothermal, hydroelectric, tidal and wave-energy installations.

They found that to power 100 percent of the world for all purposes from wind, water and solar resources, the footprint needed is about 0.4 percent of the world’s land (mostly solar footprint) and the spacing between installations is another 0.6 percent of the world’s land (mostly wind-turbine spacing), Jacobson said.

One of the criticisms of wind power is that wind farms require large amounts of land, due to the spacing required between the windmills to prevent interference of turbulence from one turbine on another.

“Most of the land between wind turbines is available for other uses, such as pasture or farming,” Jacobson said. “The actual footprint required by wind turbines to power half the world’s energy is less than the area of Manhattan.” If half the wind farms were located offshore, a single Manhattan would suffice.

Jacobson said that about 1 percent of the wind turbines required are already in place, and a lesser percentage for solar power.

“This really involves a large scale transformation,” he said. “It would require an effort comparable to the Apollo moon project or constructing the interstate highway system.”

“But it is possible, without even having to go to new technologies,” Jacobson said. “We really need to just decide collectively that this is the direction we want to head as a society.”

 

Jacobson is the director of Stanford’s Atmosphere/Energy Program and a senior fellow at Stanford’s Woods Institute for the Environment and the Precourt Institute for Energy.

Story Source:

The above story is reprinted (with editorial adaptations) from ScienceDaily.

Source materials provided by Stanford University. The original article was written by Louis Bergeron.

Journal References:

1. Mark Z. Jacobson, Mark A. Delucchi. Providing all global energy with wind, water, and solar power, Part I: Technologies, energy resources, quantities and areas of infrastructure, and materials. Energy Policy, 2010; DOI: 10.1016/j.enpol.2010.11.040

2. Mark A. Delucchi, Mark Z. Jacobson. Providing all global energy with wind, water, and solar power, Part II: Reliability, system and transmission costs, and policies. Energy Policy, 2010; DOI: 10.1016/j.enpol.2010.11.045

 

Where’s there’s Hope, there’s Cagney

23 Wednesday Feb 2011

Posted by in Entertainment Upstairs

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Contributed (drawn from the Spam-o-sphere) by an old mate – Rod

REAL STARS… 

James Cagney and Bob Hope at a Friar’s Club Meeting back when actors were real performers, Bob Hope was 52 and James Cagney was 56. For the young folks, here is something you probably have never seen before and, unfortunately, you may never see again. For us older folks, this is the best of the best, and we had it for many years! This is a side of these two entertainers you hardly ever saw but it shows you their enormous talent. Bob Hope, the best of the comedians, and Jimmy Cagney mostly cast as the bad guy, gangster in the movies. Enjoy!

Pig Psalm 12- A Noise Annoys

21 Monday Feb 2011

Posted by in Uncategorized

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Our VoR

It is unto you in times like these

We seek the neighbours to appease.

Down to the Council, with strong voices

They do complain of the Pig’s Arms noises.

It was only Gez and perhaps his missus

In the carpark revved up the Lambrettistas

Obtuse the Angles came to play and pissed around last Saturday

All bluff and bluster it’s been said

Until our cocky was found stone dead.

It lowers the tone of our precincts

And presages the arrival of gangs of Finks

So Vinh, Miss Ordinaire of Rouge

Make haste and with your presence felt

Show the flag and wield the belt

And quieten down this part of town

And hold at bay

The noise-inspector’s frown.

On the Road…. Again Chapter 2 – Beer and Bloating Near Las Vegas

20 Sunday Feb 2011

Posted by in Neville Cole

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Story and images by Neville Cole

It’s 4:23am. I’m sitting in a booth at the Golden Nugget Buffet having waffles and chicken with Karaoke Elvis. Hung disappeared about an hour ago and is no doubt still celebrating his big win at the roulette table.

This probably goes without saying; but traveling with Hung is one surprise after another. Who else but Hung would get into a conversation with a stranger on a plane from Sydney to LA and end up buying his car. Of course, he didn’t break that news to me until we were loading up to hit the road.

“Mate, we’re not going on an iconic road trip across the good ol’ US of A in a VW Jetta,” he said with a Cheshire grin. “We’re taking Priscilla! What d’reckon, eh?” With that he dashed across the street and leaped into the passenger seat of a pretty much mint condition pink ‘59 Cadillac Convertible. Is she a brilliant yank tank road trip beast, or what? Picked her up for next to nothing from some bloke in LA! And, best of all, if we take good care of her I’ve already got a name of a bloke who will buy her off us when we are done. Viva Las Vegas! Viva! Viva! Las Vegas!

Hung certainly has a nose for a deal, I will give him that…and what he lacks in the detail department, he more than makes up for in big dreaming. The detail part I might have look into a bit more carefully in the future. You see, Hung made our Vegas travel plans and, as I discovered less than 150 miles from our original destination, he got us a screaming deal on a room at the Golden Nugget Casino. Only problem was the room he booked for us is at the Golden Nugget in Laughlin not Vegas.

Laughlin is the old, plain, three-time divorced, redneck sister city to Vegas. It has most of the gambling of Vegas with none of the glitz, fancy hotels and restaurants, entertainment, or charm of Sin City. It does have the swift flowing Colorado River nearby and, on the plus side, the sprawling, dusty open desert is never more than a five minute walk from anywhere in town. We would’ve had changed our reservation; but apparently until we can recoup some of the cost of our “investment” in Priscilla we will be living on the cheap and if you want to travel on the cheap, Laughlin is your kind of town.

We pulled into the Golden Nugget about 5pm welcomed by a glittering 20-foot neon cowboy twirling his lasso in the twilight. On second glance we noticed he was actually trying to get us to come to the Pioneer next door but we had already traveled a long way and the Golden Nugget was where we planned to stay come hell or high water.

“I reckon we oughta grab a meal before we start the serious gambling, don’t you?” Hung said, clearly itching to lay down some money. I agreed; but somewhere between registration and our room we ended up stopping at the bar to play video poker and drain a few stubbies.

“So, as long as I keep playing this game, even at a nickel a shot…I can get my drinks for free?” Hung asked Tony the bartender incredulously.

“That’s the deal, bub,” Tony replied. “Same all over town only at them other bars you don’t get Tony-class service like you do here.”

“That’s a great deal! All I have to do is win enough to stay about even and I drink for free! Bewdy!” Hung was able to win enough to stay “about even” for an hour and a half and seven or eight beers; but finally he tossed Tony a generous tip, we gathered up our luggage and headed to our room.

We made dinner reservations at the acclaimed Prime Rib Room at Don Laughlin’s Riverside Casino. This is a buffet style restaurant where a full prime rib dinner with all the trimmings can be had for $11.99. There was a line of 40 or so impatient retirees when we arrived at 7:30 (even retirees eat late when they are gambling apparently) so the hostess invited us to wait at Don’s Hideaway until a table was ready.

Don’s Hideaway was apparently designed to look like the interior of a double-wide trailer outfitted with a bar and 50s era leatherette lounge chairs. It was dark and cheap looking (which is hard to pull off) and the only other customers were a group of suspicious looking Mafia types in the corner who were clearly discussing business in muffled tones. Hung was still on a quest to find a palatable American brew so he made his way to the bar and purchased two cans of Riverside Brew which is, as he was informed, made in Minnesota especially for Don Laughlin’s Riverside Casino. It was the most wretched tasting swill I have ever attempted to down and that is saying something. Right about then I made the mistake of suggesting we get two vodka red bulls as a pick-me-up.

During dinner I stopped counting after Hung’s fourth vodka red bull. He ordered two with our salad plate, one with our vegetable and gravy surprise, and at least one more when the prime rib truck eventually made its way to our table.

“So this place is all you can eat?” Hung asked Larry the Meat Carver with a trail of cheese sauce dripping from his chin. Hung’s chin, that is, not Larry’s…that would be disgusting.

“The salad, vegetables, potatoes, the cheese sauce, the gravy, the soft serve ice-cream and the dessert are all you can eat, sir” Larry replied. “If you want more prime rib that’s another $4.”

“What a deal!” Hung bellowed. “Is this a deal, or what? You wouldn’t get a deal like this in Vegas!” The prime rib, by the way, tasted every bit as good as any $4 steak you are ever likely to try anywhere. But, as a bonus, we were in and out of the Prime Rib Room in just over an hour; staggering slightly through the door with leaden bellies but all hopped up on red bull and ready to gamble.

By the time we made it back to the Golden Nugget, Hung could not be stopped. He swirled around the floor like a tasmanian devil on crack. At every table, he introduced the two of us as Raul and Dr. Gonzo. He mentioned often that we were investigative journalists from Australia and each time punctuated the comment with “the lucky country, mate!” He also quickly lost quite a wad of cash. About 11pm I made the suggestion we wander over to the karaoke lounge play a little video poker and watch the show. Hung would have none of it. “I’ll catch you there later, Nifty!” he gargled happily. I’m heading over to give the roulette table a spin.”

The karaoke lounge at the Golden Nugget will never be mistaken for Harrah’s in Vegas; but it has something very few karaoke lounges anywhere can boast: Elvis. Elvis started off with some of his best known hits: Love Me Tender, Heartbreak Hotel, Now Or Never…but, as no one else seemed too interested in grabbing the microphone from him, we all also got the pleasure of hearing Elvis’s own renditions of Down on the Corner, Heard It Through The Grapevine, White Wedding, In The Air Tonight and perhaps most remarkable of all…(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Man. Elvis’s version didn’t sound anything like either the Bobby Womack or the Rod Stewart renditions of Aretha’s classic; but nonetheless it had a honest energy that somehow worked.

During a break in the action Elvis came to occupy the chair next to me. “That was a pretty amazing set, Elvis.” I noted as he sunk his ever expanding bulk down and gave the barkeep his gimme-the-usual sign.

“Thank you, thank you very much,” he answered right on cue.

“I can’t wait to see what you got next.”

“You a singer, man?” Elvis asked me with a little curl of his lip.

“I’ve sung a tune or two; but I’m sitting here with the King.”

“It’s Laughlin,” Elvis smiled. “Everyone gets to sing here. You oughta pick a song, man. You gotta make the scene.”

“I’ll sing,” I said, “but only if you join me.”

“I’d be glad to,” Elvis said taking a sip from his rum and cherry coke. “But let’s let some of these other good folk have a go first. Sound good to you.”

“Sound good? I will be a life highlight. I am honored.”

“I’ll be back. You pick us out a good song.” Elvis gave me a pat on the shoulder and went off to convince a few other people to get up and perform at his shindig. I was still flipping through the song book when a triumphant Hung danced over waving a fistful of dollars.

“Red 19, mate! I hit it big on Red 19. I told you I was lucky, didn’t I? We both are I tell you! We’re two lucky bastards from the lucky country! What are you doing here? You should be off winning some money too!”

“I’m trying to pick a duet for me and Elvis to sing,” I slurred, the alcohol having finally taken affect.”

“Shit, mate! I want in on that! I’ll pick a song for us, no worries.” Hung ripped the song book from my grasp and churned through it like a man possessed.

I have to hand it to Elvis, he was a good sport and totally up for anything Hung had in mind; but when the first big chord hit and Hung belted out: “First I was afraid / I was petrified / kept thinking I could never live / without you by my side…” Well, I thought for sure Elvis would split then and there; but no! He jumped right in and took over right on cue at: “and so you’re back / from outer space /I just walked in to find you here / with that sad look upon your face…” So I figured what the hell and when I came my turn I was more than ready for the challenge. “Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?” I cried with gusto, “you think I’d crumble? / you think I’d lay down and die? / Oh no, not I / I will survive!

Both Elvis and I stumbled along as best we could the rest of the song attempting to follow Hung’s elaborate choreography (I swear this guy must have watched Priscilla Queen of the Desert a thousand times!); but the end result was a performance for the ages – certainly nothing the karaoke lounge at the Golden Nugget Casino had ever witnessed before. Hung and I became instant celebrities and were each called upon to perform solos; which even though they did not compare to “I Will Survive” were warmly received.

“Did you tell Elvis about Priscilla?” Hung asked later back at the bar.

“No,” I totally forgot,” I replied.

“Priscilla? What about Priscilla.” Elvis mumbled.

“She’s our pink 59 Caddy that we are cruising in, totally cherry.” Hung slapped Elvis so hard on the back that he almost toppled out of his chair. “You want to come see it? We oughta go for a cruise through town!”

Elvis was clearly tempted. “Well, we are wrapping up here for the night… Tell you what, as long as you let me drive, I’m in.”

“We sure as hell aren’t driving?” Hung laughed. “We’re both pissed as newts!”

“I don’t know what that means,” Elvis smiled. “But both of you are too drunk to drive. Besides, I know exactly where we should go!”

1959 Cadillac Priscilla

There is nothing quite like the thrill of being chauffeured around by the King while listening to his greatest hits as we cruise through the glittering neon of a wild gambling town and down along dappled sheen of the Colorado river, out under a desert moon into the stark emptiness of the Nevadan wilderness in a pink 59 Cadillac convertible; but, when warm glow of Laughlin was gone, and Elvis pulled into an abandoned rest stop down by the river my thoughts began to darken. “I know you boys like to sing,” Elvis grinned, “but are you up for some real fun?”

“Sure!” said Hung eagerly and without a hint of suspicion. “What’s the plan?”

Elvis opened his briefcase and pulled out a gleaming Colt 45.

“I’m thinking, a little target shooting in the moonlight.”

“Ace!” said Hung as he clamored out of the back seat. “Yeehaw! Let’s go cowboy!”

“So wait,” I asked. “We’re too drunk to drive but not too drunk to shoot?”

“Damn son,” Elvis laughed. “Who ever heard of being too drunk to shoot?” Elvis extracted a paper target from his briefcase, pinned it up on a cactus and for the next hour or so we each took turns blasting holes in it, or at least attempting to… I once made contact with a no littering sign but nothing I actually shot at seemed to get hit. Hung wasn’t fussed about hitting anything either, he was enjoying the sound of the gunfire way too much to care about things like that. He was all ooohs and aahhs like he was watching a fireworks display in his mind. Elvis on the other hand was dead center of the target with almost every shot. “I like to come out here after a gig,” Elvis almost whispered at one point. “Helps me relax. Thanks for joining me, gentlemen.” He looked up at us and I am pretty sure I saw a tear in his eye; but our buzz almost gone, so we all agreed to make our way back to town and keep gambling.

Elvis drove us to the brand new Harrah’s Laughlin because, as he said, that’s where the best late night action could be found. He was right. It was by now 2am but the joint was jumping. “You fellas play craps? Elvis asked making a beeline for the craps table. We both admitted we had no idea how the game worked, but Elvis said it really didn’t matter. “Just follow my lead,” he said. “Bet what I bet when I bet and you’ll do just fine.”

We followed Elvis every step of the way and I somehow our funds did grow even though I had no idea how or why. In fact, when it was my turn to toss the dice we started to do very well indeed. Hung was, for the third or fourth time in one evening, having the time of his life; especially when he was again able to confirm drinks were without a doubt absolutely free to anyone playing craps. “Ok, buddy,” Elvis said suddenly grabbing my arm after a long streak of good rolling. “This is it! Here we go. We need a seven right now and we can all go home happy.”

As soon as he spoke I gripped the dice a little more tightly. Until now, I hadn’t had a goal in mind. I was just rolling. Now the number seven was burning my brain. Elvis was counting on me. Hung…well, actually Hung didn’t seem to be paying much attention; but I knew another big win would cap off his evening and maybe soon we could actually head back to our room and get some sleep. I suddenly remembered that in all the movies the guy throwing the dice always had some woman blow on his dice for good luck so with all the savoir faire I could muster I turned to the tall pretty blonde to my right.

“Would you blow on these for good luck?” I asked in my best James Bond.

“My pleasure,” she replied licking her lips in anticipation.

The moment was so perfect. There I stood with my dice freshly blown and the whole excited table looking on. Strangers were moving in closerm anxious to join the throng and be a part of history. Elvis and Hung were brimming with confidence; but I was frozen with fear. Then that wonderful blond leaned forward, squeezed my palm and whispered in my ear: “Just let it roll.”

And so I did…and everything went into slow motion. I could clearly see each face on both dies as they bounced and spun. First a 2, then a 5, then 4, 6, 1 in quick succession…both little red cubes turning and flipping then bouncing almost simultaneously off the back wall. I could see everyone was cheering but I couldn’t hear a thing. Then I saw the first die stop moments before the first…a five! Then the second die started to take its last turn and I could see the two about to fall! Then it bobbled slightly just once and fell to a dead stop…on six.

“Eleven,” the croupier called and even he seemed disappointed.

“I’m sorry,” the blonde said. “I guess I’m not good luck for you after all.” And with that she made a quick turn and was gone.

“That was great, mate!” Hung said with genuine enthusiasm. “What a run. Cheer up, Nifty! We’re all still ahead! Who wants to try their hand at poker?”

“I think I’ll head back to the Golden Nugget, Hung.” I said quietly. “I feel like packing it in for the night.”

“I’ll drive you back,” Elvis said gathering his chips. “Let’s cash these in a go get some breakfast.

“Suit yourself, boys. I’m going to hang here for a while. Did either of you see where that pretty blonde went off to? Hold on! I think I see her! See ya, fellas! Don’t wait up for me.” And with that, the great vortex of energy known as Hung leapt once more into the fray.

“One seven,” I muttered on the way back through town. “I couldn’t I roll just one more bloody seven.”

“Forget about it, pardner,” Elvis said warmly. Then he turned and looked me straight in the eye. “In this life if you can manage to stay just about even…well, you’re already a winner. And look at us tonight! We came out ahead…maybe not by a lot…but ahead. And in Laughlin, Nevada if you can say that…well, you my friend are a big winner. Now, buck up and let’s go get us some waffles and chicken.”

NEXT UP: SIDEWAYS TO NAPA

Ant Coronaries

19 Saturday Feb 2011

Posted by in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 8 Comments

Ant World (5)

 

Painting and Story by Lehan Winifred Ramsay

Computer networks are ant networks. Computers are comprised of a trillion ants, all doing their business together. China is an ant country. Ants work well when they work together. Wikileaks uses the power of an ant; one ant to challenge a system. That one ant merely happens to know where the off switch is, and becoming irritated by the misuse of his own function determines to use it. It stands to reason that one well-placed and dissatisfied ant is now capable of such powerful activity, because we have followed the ants into their world but we meddle more than they. It only takes one ant to notice a weakness. DON’T DO THAT! the leader might say. They might know that the switch shouldn’t be toyed with. But they cannot be aware of how big that switch is going to make things. Because we don’t know. We are not in our world any more. We are in Ant World. No one person, no group of people make a wikileaks happen. It’s beyond the control of we. Our mobile phones, our cars, our refrigerators come now with computers, and computers, when they meet up in the Ant World, are seven degrees away from our nuclear power plants and our military facilities. Ant World. Wikileaks provides us with a new window into Ant World. If we are smart, we will be thinking. How is the wikileaks effect going to spontaneously manifest itself in our Ant World? We could be in for a bumpy ride.

Apologies to Lehan, this should have been published prior to Between Two Worlds