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Category Archives: Gerard Oosterman

Love Lost

08 Friday Aug 2014

Posted by Mark in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Afghanistan, breavement, deafness, love

By Gerard Oosterman

Lost love

Lost love

“I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Bettina”. “Ah, don’t be.” “Thank God he is gone, the miserable man”. And with that, the Bettina with the massive battle ship chin dismissed the passing of her husband of over forty years. Sometimes, people hide their grief with putting up a brave front. I don’t think she was in that category, having known both of them for over twenty years.

Sometime during the seventies both Bettina and husband Bob in their wild and impetuous youth traveled Europe in a left hand drive large bus converted to a camper wagon. You now see them everywhere, sometimes with bicycles or even a boat strapped at the back or on the roof. I saw a camper wagon recently that even towed a small car to buzz about in. And no doubt used, through the help of a GPS satellite system, to guide the happy travelers to the nearest Aldi or Woolworth emporium, to stock up on the essentials, including butter and lamb chops with continental parsley.

Bettina and husband Bob, (while in their youth) traveled overland back to Australia where they lived in a large house near the water. It must have been quite an adventure when Afghanistan and Burma were hardly on the well trodden traveler’s route. You would often see Bob and wife with their large grey converted left hand drive vehicle driving around the place with Bob never missing a friendly wave.

He used to regale their travel adventures to us but his Bettina would butt in ‘ oh, nonsense Bob, it wasn’t like that’ and than impose her version of it. He just used to smile and let her do the talking. He did love her, or at least allowed her the freedom to dominate him in conversations.

While on their return journey, they had filled their bus up with Afghan tapestries and carpets which they sold to anyone keen on a bargain. It were the days of so many young couples with children setting up camp in the inner city of Sydney. A true beginning of city living instead of the mind boggling boring but well promoted ‘dream’ of living in the suburbs.

As the years went by, as they seem to so relentlessly, Bob became profoundly deaf and conversations became stilted and awry. A great pity. He was always the friendly giving man and his wife the shouting over the top with such a large chin to accept (in a round-a-bout way). In any case, a long standing marriage were both no doubt had found their levels of comfort and acceptance of each other. True love?

I sometimes thought of Bob waking up and turning towards his Bettina and see the familiar large chin jutting above the sheets. He loved her, that’s for sure, and accepted her as lovingly as any caring husband would. Millions of couple all over the world do this. Hundreds of millions more likely.

And then, Bob died suddenly. Towards the last few years he had a long white beard and often stood silently next to his beloved Bettina. He was now as deaf as a bucket of sand and could not converse as before even though he would sometimes still break out and, while still smiling, mention bits about Afghanistan. Bettina now mostly had the full attention of the audience.

“Thank God he is gone” is what she said. (after forty years)

The Men’s Shed

03 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 59 Comments

Tags

Aldi bargains, Mens'Sed, Phillips heads

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAStory by Gerard Oosterman*.

“Why don’t you go and visit the men’s shed? You seem to be taking naps all the time. Each time I come down you are asleep. Have you taken your thyroid tablet? I hear that men’s sheds are taking off everywhere. It might help with your gloomy moods. You might meet a nice man.”

This à propos a conversation last week with H when the rain would not stop. The sky was grey. A perfect match for my mood. Yet the day before when the sky was just as grey, I felt ready to tackle the world, I even undertook a trip to Woolies to take advantage of a wine offer. Two bottles for the price of one. It is odd when I know that those sort of offers are just so much scam. Why do I still fall for that? Considering I pride myself on having some business acumen? No wonder their profit was up yet another 16% with mugs like me lurking around.

Shops now sell goods in multiples. Two loaves of bread cheaper than one. Six scissors for the price of two. Even two scissors for one is silly. I can only cut with one pair or eat only one loaf of bread at the time. Alas, consuming has to be sped up, faster, faster and more of it. All of it in vacuum sealed packages that are so hard to open you need secateurs. No worry, three of them for the price of one. We now have two jars of scissors on the kitchen bench with three secateurs.

Aldi’s sells the most mouth-watering packets of tools and tool accessories. I bought a box of Phillip screwdriver heads, not Phillip screwdrivers, no just the heads. Show me a Phillips screw, and boy am I prepared. I have a head for every conceivable Phillips screw. It is nice to be so secure in the world of Phillips screws. I noticed in their latest catalogue there is a special on a box of allen keys as well. Must rush out and get one. One can never have enough allen keys.

I did look up the local men’s shed. It has a kind of spiritual aura about it with the land and shed donated by the help of the local church. The past meetings all recorded on the internet does mention The Lord and other hints of a higher being ready to offer salvation. I am not sure if I haven’t left salvation a bit late but am happy to go to an even better place with even more boxes of exotic screw heads, allen keys, and extra loaves of bread. I suppose for many men heaven could not be much better than a gigantic type of Bunnings Hardware with a Lions club tent of barbecued sausages (with mustard, tom/barbecue sauce) available at any time of the day and night.

I’ll think about joining the men’s club. Their web-side has photos of blokes (the men are called blokes in this shed) busy with making things of wood or metal. There is a smaller shed for blokes with internet problems. I could do with some help with the torture that Windows 8.1 has involved me in. It is so complicated with the screen changing as soon as I move the mouse off-screen. Everything is so much Internet/electric torture and difficult now-a-days.

I feel I need a shed just for my own blokey self. That’s what it has now come to. It would have a divan, a bookshelf and a coffee grinder machine. Perhaps with a bit of ply-wood and my Aldi tools I could fashion a nice little wooden box, paint it an egg-shell beige. I could than think about what I would put in the box.

Perhaps my collection of Phillips screw heads?

Things are looking up!

*  Catch Gez at       http://oosterman.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/the-mens-shed/

Blogging under real names or pseudonyms?

24 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 53 Comments

Tags

Face Book, Wordpress

pseudo

pseudo

When I started blogging some years ago I used a pseudonym or false name. I found out that blogging in a community the use of pseudos soon became a waffle when multiple false names are used by the same person responding to the one blog. To connect with known people becomes a maze of not knowing who one is talking to when one person hides behind lots of false names.Meeting new people becomes a nightmare, and any productive talk of blogging or writing gets lost in the shuffle of many bewildering false names or ‘pseudos’.

http://geekfeminism.org/2011/07/08/anti-pseudonym-bingo/

The use of pseudos became a real problem when face -book reared its head. Who would use a pseudo when you want to tell the world who you really are and want to be taken for ‘real’ and find ‘real’ friends.

http://www.blogher.com/whats-name-real-names-vs-pseudonyms

If you stand by your conviction of an argument, rise or fall by letting everybody know who you are. If you want to use a false name, then use just one. To hide behind multiple false names seems silly at best and dishonest at worst, and ‘why’? Your IP address is known anyway. Take responsibility for your stance. I soon gave up my pseudo and have never regretted it. However, it is up to everyone to make that choice. Single pseudo or real name. No one would really care.

Un-moderated blogs such as the P/Arms, Bob Ellis’ and the Abc’s ‘Opinion’ that allow unlimited use of multiple pseudos run the risk of a few dominating the debate by using multiple pseudos on a single issue. It makes a serious argument into a mere waffle and shouting match. It lowers the value by diluting and warping the opinion. Note how the quality of respondents on the ABC Opinion has dwindled since 2008.

Fortunately, since the advent of ‘Face-Book’, blogging has now resulted in many writing under their real names. In fact, no blog worthy of serious debate would accept the use of multiple pseudos and only allow a single pseudo or even prefer real names. Blogs that deal with factual matters, science, architecture, literature or art etc. now insist on the use of a single false name or some even only real names.

Lastly, if you wonder why your blog is not getting much traction. Ask yourself, why would they, if none of you use real names or hide behind multiple false names.

Conversation Profound

09 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 46 Comments

Tags

Donizetti, Milo, Pavarotti

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh2Vh8jwyQA

G.”Good morning; sleep well”? H.”Yes, you”? G.”Yes, like an angel, but I lost my sock.” H.”Angels don’t lose socks.” G.”I forgot to take them off and fell asleep and during the night one of my toes cramped. I took the sock off my cramped foot and put it on my hand so I would not forget and lose it in the morning and yet, now it is gone.”

H. You are always turning the bed in chaotic bundle with your restless roaming around between the blankets, I am not going to strip the bed completely to find your bloody sock. I am sure it will turn up. Why do you go to sleep with socks on? G. Ok, I’ll just walk around all day wearing one sock. H. (exasperated) Jeez, get another pair from your drawer, surely you have more than one pair? G. Yes, but I already lost a pair of my best pyjamas, I don’t want to lose anything more at this stage of my life. H. You are mad, make coffee. G. Ok dear, pronto. Please, find my sock. H. Don’t worry, why concentrate on what’s not here at the moment; be positive!
G. You know me well enough, I am not going to be positive till my sock turns up. H. ( laughing) You are mad.

My coffee making is two heaped table spoonful’s of Arabia coffee into a stainless steel plunger type device. After pouring boiling water into it, I let it stand while I open the blinds to the outside world from our lounge/dining/kitchen room. Milo is outside looking in. There has been a bit of drizzle and still he slept on his cushion instead of his the luxe dog house with sheep wool underlay and alpaca fleeced cushions. Milo is a bit wet.
DSCN2859

I let him in and he sniffs the coffee with his nose pointing upwards at exactly the spot on the kitchen bench were the coffee is still settling in its hot liquid environs.

After a few minutes of reflecting pensively on what could have happened to my sock I pour the coffee into the two white tapered mugs. Next some milk. I put in 2 sugars for me and just one for H. I then stir the lot. I take one mug to H. who sometimes prefers to read in a bit. If she gets to a page she thinks I might find interesting, she will read it out to me. I think that is such a lovely thing to do. I mean being read out to.

This morning, when I entered she triumphantly waved a sock around. H. Here is your ‘stolen sock’. It was under your crumped up pillow. Why do you have such unsavoury nocturnal habits? First sleeping with socks in the middle of summer. Then you put one on your hands. On top of that you put it from hand to under your pillow. What’s wrong with you? Did you do that at home too? Did your mother not ever tell you to take socks off? .

G. I don’t know dear. But she did warn us to sleep with hands above the blankets. How is the coffee? Is it strong enough? Can you taste that I let it brew extra long this morning? I put just a bit of sugar in it and stirred it well. Let me know if you would like a second one. If you do I’ll put the kettle on again. H. Lovely coffee, thanks. Don’t sleep with socks on. G. No I won’t. G. takes the missing sock and turns optimistic.

It is going to be a good day.

The Cruelty of Australia

30 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Christmas Island, Dawes.Asylum, Kirkland, Norfold, Scott Morrison

4740534120_4ed081cb48_o-460x276

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/28/cruelty-its-part-of-the-australian-experience?CMP=ema_632

Cruelty? It’s part of the Australian experience.

Our treatment of refugees is barbaric in an authentically Australian mode, given our early history of penal settlements. Cruelty is a product of our loyalty to the current political order.

How can it be that Australia, a nation whose self-image is of fairness, frankness, and anti-authoritarianism, is so cruel to asylum seekers? It would be better to ask whether the current regime of imprisonment and torture is anything new. It is, after all, the latest in a long history of Australian cruelty, a constant presence in our culture since white settlement.

The usual fallback is to blame a lack of political and moral leadership, a series of “lurches to the right”, or a “dark victory”. The Greens, who brand themselves as the compassionate party, claim that they could do better – if only they could take government. But isn’t it strange that we lay the burden of “fixing” the asylum seeker gulags issue at the feet of parliamentarians, the same group of people who decided to lock them up to begin with?

To say it’s even possible to fix gives the parliament too much credit. More powerful nations, whose immigration flows are comparably much higher, end up conducting their debates along the exact same lines as us. This includes governments run by the left; as I wrote earlier this year for ABC Religion, the French in particular have often been cruellest under socialist leaders, including François Mitterrand.

That said, Operation Sovereign Borders is barbaric in an authentically Australian mode, given our early history of offshore penal settlements like Norfolk Island and Port Arthur. Unfortunately, because nobody bothers to read Australian history, we mainly access the memory of these colonial torture chambers through a popular myth: that convicts who were skilful, hard working and well behaved in the early settlement period were given tickets-of-leave and made a new life (including as constables and barristers), while the baddies, murderers and repeat offenders were shipped off to Norfolk to be flogged and tortured.

Like much of our officially permitted myth-making, this picture of Australian history is a useful fiction that validates current political arrangements. After all, if it wasn’t useful, wouldn’t it just be forgotten?

Convicts numbers Australia
Plan of the accommodation of convicts in Norfolk island. A 2010 study of over 6,000 convict records by Tim Causer, the largest to date, found that the overwhelming majority were not professional felons, but unskilled labourers.

Nearly 70% had been brought to Australia after committing non-violent property offences. Two-thirds had only been punished a single time before their original transportation to Australia, which according to Causer’s reading of the records, could mean “anything from 10 years in prison (a rare sentence) to a couple of days locked up for drunkenness.” In other words, the prisoners at Norfolk Island, Port Arthur and the rest were for the most part ordinary labouring men.

Other early settlement histories have come to a similar point. Nonetheless, the myth of the felonry, the criminal class and the lash has defeated one revisionist historian after another. It retains its stranglehold over the Australian imagination in part because, like all myths, it establishes a false moral order: that good character and hard work were enough to avoid punishment in the colony. It wasn’t true then, and at heart we know it’s not true now.

Unexceptional people were sent to Norfolk as a matter of course, and as a result were treated with exceptional cruelty – not to deter criminals (which the Australian penal settlements failed to do), but to maintain and justify a regime of arbitrary low-level cruelty against the rest of the transported convicts on the mainland.
Convict Ship

However, those under the lash did not cease to see themselves as British subjects: punishment tends to breed loyalty to an established social order, rather than encourage rebellion. This is why nobody bothers to read classic Australian fiction, which at its best is anti-colonial and anti-establishment. We no longer know how to find it enjoyable, and that’s a shame, because it offers a clear vantage point from which to view our current situation.

In the pivotal scene of Marcus Clarke’s classic convict novel, For The Term Of His Natural Life, Kirkland (a convict up for a flogging) encourages the protagonist Rufus Dawes to deliver his punishment: “‘Go on, Dawes,’ whispered Kirkland, without turning his head. ‘You are no more than another man.’”

Dawes, also a prisoner, stops after 50 lashes. “I’ll flog no more”, he says. “Get someone else to do your blood work for you. I won’t.” He himself is tied to the triangle for Kirkland’s share plus a few dozen more. Then the novel’s real scandal occurs:
Convict Ship

“For 20 lashes more Dawes was mute, and then the agony forced from his labouring breast a hideous cry. But it was not a cry for mercy … He cursed all soldiers for tyrants, all parsons for hypocrites. He blasphemed his God and his Saviour. With a frightful outpouring of obscenity and blasphemy, he called on the earth to gape and swallow his persecutors…”

Dawes, by condemning the pointless and arbitrary colonial order that forces him to terrorise one of his fellows, is the novel’s hero.

By contrast, North, the priest and “establishment humanitarian” character (tellingly also a “confirmed drunkard”, or by today’s lax standards, a hipster epicure) fails in his pledge to save Kirkland from the lash. He instead turns up halfway through hungover, and finds himself delighting in the spectacle: “He would fain have fled, but a horrible fascination held him back.”

The tragedy of Operation Sovereign Borders is that it descends even further from this awful scene. The asylum seekers on Nauru and Christmas Island are not even punished as part of the established legal order, becoming subjects of the state as a result of their suffering. The federal government refuses to recognise their personhood as attracting inherent legal rights, which permits them to be maltreated. It is little wonder that they want to die, they are not even seen as human beings by the authority to which they want to submit themselves.

If we accept this description of asylum seekers (what Agamben calls homo sacer) then the spectacle of members of parliament crying over asylum seekers who drowned off Christmas Island was nothing more than unadulterated narcissism: “It makes me, a powerful elected member of government, upset to see that the legal structure I help perpetuate causes an utterly powerless person to either drown or be tortured.”

They are actually worse than North, who in Clarke’s novel at least has the decency to be ashamed at his failure. When he cries “No. Not if you are Christians!” at the sight of Kirkland’s flogging, he does not look for validation from those around him – unlike our MPs, who were no doubt glad to receive praise for their tears.

Immigration minister Scott Morrison’s decisions are even more loathsome, because he hides his gleeful administration of Operation Sovereign Borders behind a range of military and parliamentary processes. It would be more honest for him to be more like Marcus Clarke’s commandant Burgess, who laughs while Dawes is flogged, taking direct pleasure in doing his duty.

“But it’s sick to enjoy that!” you say. Yes, it is. So why do you support a system that delivered Morrison to power? Because it’s the parliament?

“The parliament has to do all kinds of distasteful things. That doesn’t mean we enjoy it”, you reply. Really? So much for the rule of law – the asylum seekers haven’t committed a crime!

“Yes they have, they came illegally.” Even if that were the case, so did your ancestors – and they were treated the same way. That’s the trained outburst of a broken person, who identifies with the authority that dominates him rather than with justice – not the words of a natural bigot.

Why is Australian culture cruel? Because that’s the behaviour our cruel state demands from us to show loyalty.

On the Farm.

18 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

chess, Farm, Rookworst, Skyping

On the Farm
November 14, 2013

002

One measure of getting older is that one sees a bit less of grandchildren. Two of them are in their early teens. The other one is still friendly, is not scowling and is still only ten. The two thirteen year olds are like bean shoots. Each time we see them, I feel like asking for their names. They have changed into modes of extreme vacillating personas. One minute they are on their bikes and next they are skyping in secrecy with the bedroom door closed. When they sit on a chair, if you can call half way between the chair and on the floor ‘sitting’, their knees look like rhubarb sticks.

How are things, I’ll ask, trying to be as nonchalant as they would so desperately like to be? FinejustfineIamdoingOK, they answer in the rapid speech that has gained enormous world-wide popularity. I have noticed that the cadence or the lilt at the end of each sentence is now becoming a bit jaded. Not before time. I could hardly believe that even newsreaders had fallen for increasing the last few words of each sentence into a slide going upwards. “Thirty thousand people have died in battles between rival forces in Syria.” The “forces in Syria” would move from middle C into F minor higher up the scale. Or, “A man was stabbed by a reveller at a party in Ashfield”, again a celebratory kind of upward singing end in “paaaarty in Aaashhhhfffield!”

It must be difficult now to face a world so fast and restless. I remember Tolstoy with his war and peace. Things were slow and one would relish the words while slowly eating mother’s ladling out of mashed potatoes and rookworst cut in equal pieces so the children would not knife each other over an imagined favour to a rival brother with a piece of sausage one millimetre bigger. 😉 At least we talked without machinegun rapidity or a nauseating lilt at the end.

7263101cl125385230911

The first picture is two of the boys in our farm’s lounge-room, playing chess. I am not sure they still play that game. At least they know the moves and might pick it up when they get bored with skyping.

The next picture was taken by the Agent selling the farm in 2010. The room was magic. Such lovely proportions and the open fire used to be on almost day and night during the 5 months or so of winter. I know it would go through a barrow full of fire wood a day. I was quite manic swinging the axe around. Later on I used a hydraulic wood splitter, petrol driven, with a force of 22ton. Now, that was really manic.

Tags: Grandchildren, Skyping, Woodfire
Posted in Gerard Oosterman |

Louie the Fly is still around.

27 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 23 Comments

2210_diningoutside_jpg-500x0

Louie the Fly is still around.
October 24, 2013

During the smoke haze some days ago I noticed the flies were in a frenzy as well. The sky had an eerie orange tinge. People seemed tense and walked faster than normal. It reminded me of the last days of shopping before Christmas. Perhaps the threat of fire and Christmas are related. Both are filled with a dread that something might not have been done or achieved. Did we really have enough food in the house for the upcoming festivities, and now, have I cleaned the guttering of dry leaves?

As we took our daily walk along the river with our Jack Russell Milo, I happened to choke on a fly which promptly got ingested. It reminded me of our life on the farm. Even though we left the farm three years ago, many memories persist. The best of them were the large house and the old settlers cottage from around the late 1880′ or so. We had a pool. I drove a ride-on mower and tractor to slash and keep combustible growth to a minimum.

Fire in summer was always on our minds. We had bought a petrol driven fire fighting pump and a wide arrangements of large diameter hoses with brass couplings. The first thing to go is often the supply of electricity, especially in farming communities when electricity poles catch alight. We had 40.000 litres of water from the pool at our disposal. We also prepared ourselves with buying a large generator that would give us enough power to run our sprinkler system and water taps around the farm and spare settler’s cottage. On most farms water is supplied from tanks or dams by electric pumps that get activated when a tap is turned on. We had a water license allowing us to pump 6 million litres from the Wollondilly river.

We were well prepared for bush-fire but still had anxious days when fires used to break out in the area. Fires could start by a farmer using a tractor to slash ,hit a stone, and a spark would ignite a fire in no time. Other fires were proven to be deliberately lit by bored youths. The mind boggles!

During the bushfire periods I always used to scan the sky for a hint of smoke and watched the local news. A previous bushfire in the sixties had destroyed most of the local community including a school and church.

One of the most amusing times were to be had on internet sites where the farming community used to chat with each other. Some of the responses were priceless.

A favourite subject to prop up during the heat was flies. How many did you eat today, was asked? Someone replied; I had at least twelve today, how about you?

In most French, Spanish, Greek movies, sooner or later, a scene props up whereby in the shade of a large oak, the family sits outside with a perfectly chosen outdoor setting and a table decked out and laden with food and wine. People are convivial and wild gesturing adds to the excitement. Romantic and idyllic with perhaps a bee humming around the family about the worst threat to the event.

Did you notice on the TV news about the wild-fires, the flies buzzing around the news readers faces? I felt like getting the spray can out.
We can honestly say, those scenes would be hard to achieve here. We know, we tried many times. The flies made outdoor dining on a farm impossible. The only way to do it would be to wear black netting around one’s head and pop in the food by quickly lifting the netting, even so, flies would be opportunistic and get in. Unable to escape, yet another fly would get ingested.
That’s how it was.

Tags: French, Jack Russell, Wollondilly river
Posted in Gerard Oosterman | Edit |

A surge of re-speck back to the humble sausage.

26 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 50 Comments

Tags

ABC TV, Sausage

Grilled-sausageThe science is out and so is cholesterol as being the main culprit for heart attacks. It is stress and sugar. Hoorah, I’ll have two kilos of ‘country beef’ sausages please. Even though our butcher has gone with the times and now advertises selling ‘meat solution’ he has been inundated with requests back to sausages and lamb cutlets. In fact, a surge for those items has been recorded in our local newspaper ‘The Wollondilly Express.’ 🙂

I have no trouble with sugar and have no pangs of lust for the Danish Pastry or Dutch Cream Delights. Show me a raw herring or a chargrilled dripping-hot sausage and I feel like a honeymoon, whatever a honeymoon feels like. I am delighted with that latest news. An hour long program on ABC’s catalyst praised the efforts in medical research stating that the emphasis on heart disease being caused by fat was wrong. How come skinny people were succumbing to heart disease while the rotund sausage lover roamed the streets late at night, shouting songs of love, and indulging in misdemeanours, al done in robust health?
Here have a dekka at this lot;
http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/heartofthematter

Disclaimer; apart from short mention of “Danish and the word Dutch” , the link to Europe is not intentional and a total fictional use of language and word order. Please note also that the article is ABC science and not intended for those steeped in leering, sneering and trolling.
Enjoy!

PS:You published your 475th post on this blog.
I am rather proud of that number.
Gerard.

The Apology

25 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 139 Comments

thumb2146

The apology,

According to a reader on the P/A I am guilty of having written hundreds and hundreds of boring articles, worse, I have been found guilty of slighting Australia in conjunction and aid from Norway, Sweden and The Netherlands. I am guilty as charged but how to apologize? Let me try.

Do I go out and in deep sun-drenched suburbia, embrace a sheet of zinc alum and ask for forgiveness. I am so sorry colour-bond, I know you mean well and you never rust either. How could I have been so cruel? You give generously to all within your sun-locked boundaries and no nasty neighbour can ever be detected. No blade of grass can ever abuse you.

Next is the pebble-creted driveway so sweetly curved upwards to the triple remote garage. So sorry; please allow me to prostrate myself humbly for having slighted you so badly. I will never ever do it again. Here, allow me to varnish you and let your pebbles shine for ever brightly. You have given so much welcoming and loving traction to the Michelin and Kuma tyres. I am so sorry.

Oh, the horror of the hurt I have knowingly inflicted on all those kind beds of nodding petunias, those havens of suburban peace and tranquillity, harbouring and giving respite to the tortured souls of the Westfield shopping malls with local pubs and clubs. How can I make up? Would you like some water, some kind Leghorn manure to boost your cheerful growth? I am sorry.

The leaf blower. I am so sorry. How can I make up for having accused you of noise and mayhem while all you did was blow away leaves onto your preying neighbours property or into the kerbs of endless avenues. Allow me to take you out for dinner and lubricate your twin carby cylinder. Anoint your inlet suction and empty the bag. Please, let me.

As for the crispy manicured lawn. The worst of all my misdemeanours. Let me sink on my knees and prise out all those lugubrious weeds with sinister intent on multiplying themselves during the dark of the night. Here let me mow you with my Victa and I’ll rake you lovingly in neat heaps, ready for the mulcher who I have never abused. I always held the mulcher in high esteem. I don’t know why.

Last but not least, the Venetian blind. Let me dust you. Please accept all my Christmas cards which I will stick through your slatted shiny apertures. If you like I can also give you a nice trade in for the vertical ones but how to attach the cards. I can also perhaps show contrition by getting boxes of twinkling lights to adorn the roof and garage door right up to the fence and along the lawns.
I won’t do it again.
PS: for those having read hundreds of boring articles. Why did you, how could you? Avert your eyes.

The Dutch are at it again.

22 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Gerard Oosterman

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Arctic, Holland, Murmansk, Russia

dutch parliament
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-10-22/dutch-take-russia-to-maritime-court-over-greenpeace-ship/5036792

The Dutch government has taken Russia to the international maritime court to try and free 30 crew members of the Greenpeace ship Arctic Sunrise.

The group faces piracy charges after being by arrested Russian troops last month during a protest at an oil platform against drilling in the Arctic.

A Dutch government statement said it was asking for the release of the detained crew and the Greenpeace ship before the German-based International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea.

“Because the Netherlands find that the ship’s release and the freeing of the crew is an urgent matter, it has now decided on this step,” it said.

The activists from 18 different countries are being held in the northern Russian city of Murmansk before another court hearing in November.

Piracy carries a 15 year sentence in Russia

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