Simulated picture of Granny – not to scale.

Story by Emmett

Big ? Yes, Foodge. Big, You know a bit about women’s health, don’t you ? A bit, yes, Foodge. What’s troubling you ?

It’s about Granny. What is it about Granny, Foodge ? Well, she’s not herself. In fact she’s, um, er, quite a lot crankier than she usually is.

Really ? Yes, and she, um, er, is a bit, you know, demanding – in an um , er, you know, wink wink kind of way. Just saying.

Go on. Well, she went on some kind of HRT thing and I’m a bit worried that something’s not quite right.

So how did that come about, Foodge ?

Well, she went to see her women’s business doctor and he gave her a bunch of hormone pills. And as I was saying, Big, she’s not been herself – but she does seem to be turning into some bloke she met at … you remember when Merv had that mixed marital arts competition in the tent in the carpark… it was after that. And he said that he could get her the hormone pills a lot cheaper than from the Cook’s River Compounding Pharmacy.

” I see” said Big. “And is she working out ?” Yes, I think so, I don’t reckon she’s got this way by eating wedges and tidying up the Farrowing Crate Merlot leftovers.

“No, I guess not” said Big