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Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Author Archives: Mark

Jeff Healey

21 Sunday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Bands at the Pig's Arms

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Jeff Healey, music

Jeff Healey - vale

Pic: Thanks to en.wikipedia.org

Now here’s a guy that played the guitar very well in a very different way.

Jeff’s story:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Healey

Video Clip

Doing a Beatles or Harrison tune. Okay just joking, all right.

Should add this mp3, it’s a heartbreaker.

05 – The Jeff Healey Band – Angel Eyes

 

Seasick Steve

20 Saturday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Bands at the Pig's Arms, Mark

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

music, Seasick Steve

Doing what he does best

Hey. Hung here. A few weeks ago prior to my “sickness”, which lead to”hospital”,  full of “nurses” and you know Hells Hospital is a true fictional account of hospitals and nurses I forgot,  due to the stress of rubbing shoulders with Loreen,  to post about the request for Seasick Steve.

Seasick Steve was born a poor black American and saved up and had the operation, just like Mikey. No I jest. Steve is an American guy you plays the blues on guitar however his niche is that he tunes he guitar differently to standard tunings. Steves story can be found here,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasick_Steve

The video clip,

The mp3 as it has a better sound quality,

01 Started Out With Nothin’

The official site,

http://www.seasicksteve.com/

The t-shirt,

R.R.P. $9.95 – On Sale Nowhere

Hope you enjoy

Duck and Cover

19 Friday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Warrigal Mirriyuula

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

economics, Malcolm Turnbill

Still a wannabee....

 

 

Scrooge McTurnbull

“When times are hard and political progress seems even more difficult than usual, Malcolm returns to his roots and seeks refuge in a visit to his money. Obeying the age old laws of plutocracy, he dons the uniform common to his class and enters his vault. After reverently whispering the ritual invocation, “The way to make money is when there is blood running in the streets”, he discards the traditional duck lips and topper to more closely inspect one of his finer nuggets.

“Mmmmm”, says Malcolm, ” I wonder if you can get a Bentley ute”

Warrigal

11.3 Are you for real?

17 Wednesday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

country drives, Father O'Way, humor, Sandy O'Way

The Bremer Valley

Writing. Is writing a skill or is it just a means of expressing ones thoughts? For example, is writing really a way of expressing one’s inner self?  Do you self talk? I do. I find it helps to have a good self talk. Yes, I ask myself all these painstaking questions. See I’m an inquisitive bastard when it comes to myself. So I say “Hey Sandy, what are you doin?” “Nothin much” I reply to myself. “Who ya gunna vote for?” “Dunno” “What ya havin for tea?” “Food, I suppose” I’ll reply with total disdain.

So yeah, I have deep and meaningful conversations with myself constantly. In fact it helps me pass the time. Time you ask? Time only occurs when there is motion. So I have this theory, lets just stop moving and we can all live forever. Right? Well maybe not and it goes without saying that this theory has some serious flaws. But who gives a zark, not this broken down parish priest. Anyhoo, that’s another story.

So writing is a group of letters that one strings together to form a sentence. But a sentence can also be a punishment, a verdict, a conviction and condemnation. So if I write a sentence am I condemning myself by verdict to convicted punishment? Gees arse, all these rules with words, this is worse than maths.

A day at the office with Hung One On

I’d like to tell you a story. A story of a country drive. For us city dwellers, the lovely Belinda and I, we need country drives, believe me, I mean I’m a priest after all.  So here goes…..

The valley stretched out before us, gradually disappearing into the distance that concluded with the looming mountain range. The sun was kind to us today as usually here in the deep south the summers are hot and dry. Today is cloudy and  rain is falling, gracing the ground with delicious nutrition for the soil.

The road, gravel of course, winds through the hills and vales crossing brooks trickling with water. Livestock dot the paddocks interrupted occasionally by crows and magpies searching for a feed of insects.

We pass numerous homesteads enwreathed by trees that provide both a windbreak and shade. Most have abundant outhouses and some farm machinery some of which are beyond their use by date.

We ascend to the top of the small mountain as the wind starts to lift. We stop and admire the 360 degree vista. We watch the rain clouds drift across the valley creating a patchwork quilt of colours and textures that stimulate the senses and purgers the soul. The wind and rain make us cold to the bone.

A vacant rotunda sits in the park. We dine under its protective roof on antipasti, dolmades, olives cheese and crusty bread. All washed down with a glass of wine. It doesn’t get any better than this. This should be everyday, should I wish for it to be my groundhog day?

Driving back home our colloquies diminish and we let the music stop on the CD player. This allows us to cherish the sounds of the rain and allow our senses to absorb the beautiful smell of water and dust and the birds. All of us enjoying the effects of the rain.

Our thoughts become reflective as we re-live our day, out in the country. We’re returning to the concrete jungle. The noise, the traffic and the congestion. This doesn’t mean it’s bad or wrong it’s just the countryside makes me feel so free and so open while the city closes me in.

The drive continues as we wind down through the hills and back to town. Other motorists are unaware of our relaxing trip and our connection with nature. The other motorists kept their aggressive driving styles while we idled through the streets in relax mode.

We return home to find nothing had changed except ourselves. Forever now, a memory of the Bremer Valley, the vista, the winding roads and the diverse  bird-life.

Life’s like that I guess!

Beach and the Video

16 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Uncategorized

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

Beach, humor, Robin Hood

The Pigs Arms welcomes Mel

 

The Beach...

Sitting on the red sand, false hope at waves and shark sightings within my braggart persona. Finding my pants lack legs I stand and chase the elegant Harrods mirage to find nothing but a tree stump, chock of woodworm and a large egg with no hints as to origin or future hope of hatching. Shall I scramble? Shall I scamper? I sit and contemplate pants lacking legs and discuss my future with the woodworms, leaving the egg to rest in hope of becoming something new and big and slightly special.

 

Being warm I discovered the missing clothing appendage. I walked toward the big old green chair stolen from Le Cornu’s foyer and jumped aboard to enjoy the view, Wow, Atlantic Video within paces, think I just may, huge range of retro media. As I leap from the Le Cornu’s monument, I contemplate a name change due to massive overdue fines at every video store in sight upon boarding a Sea World helicopter. Yes, lucky I collected mail from all boxes at the stereotypical cream brick apartment block I call home. At once I settle on Nguyen Ng. Feeling lucky I carry heavy duty hair ties for faux slant eyes.

 

and the Video, courtesy http://www.starpulse.com

“Okay hero, I seek, Robin Hood Men in Tights, you have on your shelf?” “Sure, never seems to rent out longer than 15 minutes at a time” comes the reply. “Ah sooo – methinks it sounds too good, thank ye sir so much”.     Smile on face I loosen the hair, mmm, normal eyes, so Aryan, yet in a special red headed fashion.

The Royal VN Your Majesty...

Limping across the ochre terrain I locate my pants legs across the windscreen of the VN, well thank God, nothing worse than burning your hands on the plastic economy class steering wheel.

TTG at night, well sort of...pix fotosearch

On to Adelaide. Tea Tree Gully here I come, stun gun and clothesline at the ready. Hey how is it going matey? What do you what… stun gun. Clothesline confines the man to his faux leather home theatre lounge. Hey smarty, big tough man – feast your obnoxious brain on this. Sets the DVD player to repeat –“Nooo, surely my cells shall fry”. “That’s nothing shaghead – tomorrow I’m making you sit through the entire Wogs, Kings of Mykanos [sic]”. He he. Don’t mess with me boy Mel wins.

Mel Nov 2010

11.2 Sandy V’s Joke Hocknee

03 Wednesday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 33 Comments

Tags

Australia, Father O'Way, humor, Pigs Arms, science fiction

Warrigal does Joe at the numbers game …

A bloke called Diogenes emerged from Greece! Hey, I just know, lately my nocturnal  operations provided quality? Really? Study the universe, virtual wisdom, xenophobic yawn, zark!

Hey! Shit man. What?  An alpha or betic or maybe even diabetic dream? Hmm, what’s going on ? Must be time to go back out into space. Jules, you know, the S.S. Julian II, my spaceship,  is hiding on the dark side of the moon. Hmm, good name for an album. Jules hates being spotted as a UFO by NASA and all those other space freaks that are looking for  life outside Earth. See Earth can’t join the space community because we are still too tribal. Jules says that there’s nothing worse than a redneck American farmer that says “Eye’s seeen a UFO”. Cause we all know that aliens and UFO’s only appear in front of redneck American farmers. Well, sort of.

Anyhoo, I’ve had a gutful of sports stars and the like so today I’m going to talk to shadow Finance Minister Joke Hocknee.  To make it easier to follow the interview  I’m gonna do the initials thing at the side.

FOW: So Joke, you are good with maths then?

JH: Yes Sandy, one plus one equals two or thereabouts. Just depends on the core lie/non core lie theory.

FOW: Yes, but Joke you must surely understand investment strategies, shares etc. that must have a long term positive effect for the Australian voting public?

JH: Yes Kerry, er, um, Sandy, if we juxtaposed the symbiosis of the syntax we can say that nothing is certain. Except for certainty.

FOW: You must be concerned at the dollar meeting parity with the Greenback?

JH: Yes Sandy, the Greenback whale is welcome in our waters at any stage. We are all for conversation.

FOW: Don’t you mean conservation?

JH: Yes, that too, what ever it is.

FOW: As shadow treasurer do you see your party being able to reign in the banks on interest rates?

JH: Absolutely Sandy. One word from the banks and we will do whatever they want.

FOW: So Joke, If I could grant you a wish, what would you like to see happen?

JH: Oh it’s easy Sandy. Work your guts out for nothing while your boss gets rich.

That’s all tonight from the Devon Hurty Report, I’m Sandy O’Way, Canberra.

Pig’s Legs Waxing and Beauty Salon

03 Wednesday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Warrigal Mirriyuula

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

beauty salon, humor

Beauty school was tough for Glenda and it took her a long time before she was able to successfully contour an eyebrow without injuring the client.

Warrigal’s Digital Mischief

11.1 Sandy: On the Road to Bali.

02 Tuesday Nov 2010

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

Father O'Way

 

Indonesian Justice System – Schappy style – Digital Mischief by Warrigal Mirriyuula

 

Warning: The following article is rated MA15+. It contains,

Drug references

A sex scene

Humour

Total stupidity

Sandy here. The Bish wants me to go to Bali and put in a good word for my mate Shappy. Shappy has lodged an appeal for clemency with the President. Shappy feels hard done by for getting 20 years jail for a tiny bit of dope in her bag, well okay, a couple of kilos, well 4.2kg to be precise.

As usual I bribe the guards with some suspicious white powder and Pigs Arms T-shirts, I mean, who wouldn’t want a Pigs Arms t-shirt? Hint, hint. I am led to a room with some tables and chairs and Shappy is sitting at a table.

“Hi Shappy, you’re looking well?”

“Hmm, hmm, oh, yes, yes, yes oh my god, hmm, hmm, hmm, more, more, yes, yes, yes. Hmm, hmm, oh, yes, yes, yes oh my god, hmm, hmm, hmm, more, more, yes, yes, yes.”

“Shappy what are you doing?” I ask totally bewildered. “I’m giving you a hmm job Father, I mean, isn’t that what all men want, hmm jobs?” relates Shappy. “But Shappy, all you are doing is sitting at a table and making sounds” I inform rather perplexed. “But yes Father, this is paper sex and sex sells, you want this story to sell right? So you can become rich and famous, don’t you?” hmms Shappy. “Paper sex?” I exclaim. “Yes, Father, it’s a new trend, its safe and you can have it whenever you want. So what you do is type on the screen what you want to happen and yeah, there it is, like you’re about to put up some inverted comma’s and say says Shappy” says Shappy.

“So Shappy, you have made an appeal to the President Sussudio BangBang Yodelyokoono?” I inquire. “Hmm, yes, I’ll give him a hmm job, I’m sure he’ll let me out, Hmm, hmm, oh, yes, yes, yes oh my god, hmm, hmm, hmm, more, more, yes, yes yes.”

[Insert explicit sex scene here]

I leave the poor estranged figure of Shappy and interview a senior official at Kerobokan prison, Maid In Sardinia. “Maid, mate, I believe if Shappy observes prison regulations, she could be out in a little over four years?” “Well Sandy” replies Maid “yes, no, maybe.” I take a large envelope out of my jacket pocket displaying the glistening notes of cash “Well Sandy” beams Maid “Lets make that three years, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean!”

I leave the prison and head for the President’s palace. “So Sussudio, mate, are you going to let Shappy out early?” I ask knowing you are all waiting with baited breath for the answer’. “Well Sandy, yes, no, maybe.”

So I rings the Bish. “Bish, its Sandy. Look mate she as mad as a cut snake. Oh and did you like the Phil Collins and Yoko Ono gag?” “Sandy you just get that girl zarking home, you com-pre-hen-day?” roars the Bish. “Me and Basil Sauce have money riding on this.” Bloody Basil Sauce, the local pasta at the opposition, him and the Bish, always betting with each other. And those others that have now become involved, you know, Cab Ornara, Put Tenessca and Chee Can Curry. Think I might have to go back into space.

11. Sandy Returns – From where, not sure?

23 Saturday Oct 2010

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

Ashes, Australia, cricket, Father O'Way, humor, science fiction, Trotters Ale

Hi. Sandy here. For the new I’m Father Alexander “Sandy” O’Way. I’m the parish priest at the St Generic Brand Church in Inner Cyberia in the Western suburbs. The parish covers the Pigs Arms and I am often down there, sinking a glass canoe of Trotter’s Ale and debating science with Emmjay, or in other words talking bullshit. Oh, and I have recently been in space, travelling several galaxies researching baked beans for the creator of the Universe, Gordon O’Donnell, an astrophysicist from another dimension. Anyway, that’s another story.

Anyhoo, they let me out of the local psychiatric unit after the Bish, you know, my boss, Bishop Bishop came and bailed me out. Now I’m back with my Bel, you know Belinda, Glenda’s little sister, whom I married and then Gordon tells me he wants me to go back into space. Yeah right!

So I have to find out what happen between Picky Runting and Shame Worn, you know, they are cricketers, the most boring game in the universe. A good saying would be “I’ve seen grass grow, paint dry and a cricket game”, know what I mean. Personally I couldn’t give a rat’s toss bag, what ever that means, but the Bish had a bet with Pastor Sauce that they will replace Runting with Michael Fark. I mean, tie me down and spank my bottom, Gees arse.

I visit Picky at his rural Tasmanian home that he had completely relocated to the Sydney outskirts. Convenient hey. “Picky, dude, what’s this spat with you and Worny?” I ask showing my severe interest by yawning half way through the question.

“Ah, nothing Father. Look me and Worny is mates and nothing can come between us. He has his views and I have mine but unfortunately his views are all wrong and mine are always right and so I am going to belt the zark out of him, oops, Sorry Father, I seek means of a redemption through negotiation rather than senseless violence, ugh”. “What about Fark for captain?” I enquire. “Well Sandy yes, no, maybe”

Hmmm, now lets see what Worny has got to say for himself. I visit Shame in the majestic mansion that he built for himself by being able to bowl spin, telling lots of other people to zark off and how great he is, yeah right. “Shame, dude, what’s this spat with you and Runting?” I ask showing my severe interest by yawning half way through the question. “Ah, nothing Father. Look me and Picky is mates and nothing can come between us. He has his views and I have mine but unfortunately his views are all wrong and mine are always right and so I am going to belt the zark out of him, oops, Sorry Father, I seek means of a redemption through negotiation rather than senseless violence, ugh”. “What about Fark for captain?” I enquire. “Well Sandy yes, no, maybe”

Gee did you get a de jevu or what?  I mean are these guys similar. So I rings my good mate and colleague in India. The former test player now journalist Asif Iwood. “Asif mate, did Runting or Horrorwitch set bad fields in the last series?” I ask totally uninterested in the answer. “Well Sandy yes, no, maybe.” Hmm, deep. We’re getting somewhere here. “So Asif should they have played two spinners?” I ask as it’s written on a piece a paper for me by some cricket nut job to ask. “Well Sandy yes, no, maybe.”  Wow, mystical stuff.

So I rings the Bish “Hey Bish, it’s Sandy” I announce rather bravely. “Your money is as safe as the American banking system collapsing, Bish, Bish, are you okay?”

Good Stuff

02 Saturday Oct 2010

Posted by Mark in Uncategorized

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

music, Steely Dan

Well, sort of ....

Hey,

Here’s a very good cover of a Steely Dan song called “Fire in the Hole” from the Dan’s first album called Can’t Buy a Thrill.

This guy knows how to play, I wish I could.

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