Quilted Robot

I remember reading about how Australians began to embrace investment after they were made to keep superannuation funds. And then every Australian seemed to become a real estate junkie. Now if they are reading anything at all they are every day becoming well-trained specialists in recognizing that opportunity that will change their lives. Technology, education, age management, management… never ending self-improvements.

I think that facebook is training us on how to make our friends into assets. Useful, useable, tradeable commercial assets. We are learning to think about them differently, to understand the rules governing successful management of friend assets, to understand the financial potential in them. One of the rules of Asset Management of Friends is: never lose one.

It seems to me that the next thing to be “assetted” will be love. Sex, sexual relationships, marriage, partnership. We are so good at learning now, we will be excellent students. But I doubt the Asset Management of Lovers will say “never lose one”. It is clearly financially beneficial to have a marriage system that allows you to move up and up through relationships, gathering assets. So we will need to learn how to do that properly, and our marriage system will need adjustment to make it work for us, rather than against us.

If you’ve ever read one of those motivational (self help for the “activity” disability) books you’ll probably remember all the categories that you need to do a little in at a time. Things like planning, relating to people, negotiation, investment, time management. 

Now take the time to read through The Age, or The Sydney Morning Herald. They seem to have reformed themselves into daily motivational trainers for us. Is that what we are, now? People whose single desire is to improve, in clearly recognisable steps? Like the steps in a flower arrangement school, each with its own certificate (TAFE approved, RPL available).

It’s curious. At the moment there’s an article about air travel. Get over it and get on with it, they say. Another view might be: actually you’ve been SOLD travel as one of the ultimate rewards for your endeavours. And often it’s not fun at all! It’s actually a time where you get even more marketed and under-rewarded than normal! In fact, it could be argued that it is neither attractive NOR desirable! It’s just that it’s such a great little money-maker, and for you, a great way to learn how to stick to a goal.

One time I deliberately took a bad holiday – planned it from beginning to end and stuck with it. Why would I do that? I think it’s because I’m a particularly good learner.
Did you ever notice that you used to have interest in the dumbest, most unsharable things? And now there’s an online shop for it. Chewing match heads. Go do your research.

Weirdly, it all looks much the same until you take a look in another country. Ebay, for example. Who are all these scammers, you think. And then, once you’ve got the picture, you see it all over the place, right here in your own place. Stop telling me about those match heads, you think. I just used to like them, that’s all. And now those scammers won’t let it go.

Yesterday I went to a Vinnies and they had a skirt there for $25. It was a lovely skirt. Can you make this a little cheaper, I said, because I’m unemployed. No. We can’t. Someone came out from out the back and said: oh, we had to put that price on there, it was brand new. Yes I understand that it was brand new. I can see it is such good quality. But I am unemployed. Can you make this a little cheaper? No. We can’t. We get this high price so we can run our charity programs for the poor. Yes, I can understand that you get the money to run programs to provide charity for the poor. But I am poor. And I am asking you for help by going into your charity shop and buying the clothes that you have received for nothing. And I am now not even able to be your customer. Only your client. I am too poor for a Vinnies shop.

Newspapers read more like the kind of newsletters you can subscribe to. Which is important, because that’s what their business plan is, to make little tailor made newsletters for each and every one of us. So if you’ve noticed that, you’re with the program.

I write about Vinnies, it is snatched upon by the Facebook Fairies (oh look! a Product!) there is a “Vinnies Vogue” story in my personalized AGE within a few minutes. Sadly, they do not recognize that I am too poor to shop at Vinnies. Perhaps this is the aspirational lesson plan.

I am a little sad about newspapers, reading them was one of my great passions. It was nice when they came on sheets of paper. If you got up to go to the toilet, the same story would be on the page when you came back. It’s those trivial things that we become nostalgic for.

And BOOM! A nostalgia section! Being sad is now flagged as a super-potential marketing opportunity. So my disappointment is of great interest. Perhaps having something interested in me will help that sadness anyway? My own personalized self-investment manager. I cannot lose. I am being supported by my personalized media, and my success is their profit. As a human success contributes to a healthy condition. So success is what I will have. See how helpful and loveable robots (a pretty name for technology) are?

Oddly, there have been some reversals in strategy. Arts Hub Australia used to refuse me their newsletter unless I subscribed. Now they send it to my email box, although we never agreed on such a relationship. They have come to learn that in the world of motivational newsletters, you have to be there to find a money-making opportunity. We will find that we have many such helpful friends now.