“Now there are blues that you get from happiness
There are blues you get from pain
There’re blues when you are pining for your team to be shining
Blues that are hard to explain”
“And there are blues you get from cricket
When you hear your top order snick it and they fill up your thoughts with darkest dread
Yes, these blues become a bummer when they wreck half of your summer
And your steel reserves must harden to take the tranny out in the garden
For there are blues you get from hearin’ your team’s chances disappearin’
When your cricket gear’s at home, out in the shed.
But the meanest blues, the meanest blues there be
Are the kind that I got on my mind
The blues the Baggy Greensters give to me.
There are blues you get in snatches when they drop dead sitter catches
And complainin’ to the umpire “He waz out !”
There are blues you get in cricket when the ball misses the wicket and the keeper fakes a half-convincing shout.
There are blues when you find wanting the captaincy of Ponting
Ain’t no point to linger or to blame his busted finger
‘Coz a punter’s just a punter and a Pup is just a pup
With two lost Ashes in a row, the time is surely up
And the Poms are on a millionteen for none
Yes there are blues when their top batters hit everything that matters
And the Poms are on two millionteen for one
But the baddest blues’s my insistence
When the Greens have less resistance
Than the skin on day old custard and the ponces show no mustard
And take a dive before the oldest foe.
Yes, there are blues when you’re in the thicket
And you blame a grassy wicket that didn’t seam to trouble Poms at all
Or there are blues when selector sinners leave out all the spinners
And there’s no-one who can turn a bloody ball.
You could say that it ain’t fair of me and the Poms were just too good
And selection’s such a tricky thing few mortals understood
I’m blue becoz we’ll all have to wait
For the gifted sons of the golden greats
But by that time, I have a hunch, we’ll all be out there takin’ lunch
Through fattish straws – with our toothless mates.
But the bluest thing, the saddest thing – I’ll remember till I die
Was Pup hangin’ on the final Ashes test, prayin’ for a series tie.
 From “Blues My Naughty Sweetie Gives to Me” – bent, with apologies