Our Merv
Who may dwell in your sacred pub ?
Who may sip from your hoppish streams ?
The one who can walk across the car park blameless and untouched
by the Hells Angles or the Lambrettistas
Who speaks no scorn of the Rabbits and follows the Tigers meekly
Whose tongue utters no slander
Nor makeths the quip about Voice’s verandah
Who makes no complaint when the wind blows eyebrows
from the skip next to the Pig’s Legs Waxing and Beauty Salon all over his car
Who accepts hot tips but quietly does not bet on losers
Who carries through and keeps the faith
Who is touched for a loan but who expecteths not the repayment – especially from Foodge.
Who does these things may dwell in the Pig’s Arms
and sitteth on the right hand side of the juke box.
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
In search of a fictitious bazooka,
Young Hads plied a shot of sambuca.
The overhang fell, causing a yell;
impinging T2’s King’s verruca.
LikeLike
A regal limerick, VL !
LikeLike
Actually Verandah, with an upper class Surrey accent, rhymes with slander.
A coup, Emmjay.
LikeLike
Well-spotted, VL !
LikeLike
I wonder if Voix, will get the AJ reference?
LikeLike
Bouncer! Bouncer! Over here, please.
I think I need to ask Julian for advice on the correct way to summon a bouncer.
LikeLike
Sigh. That once great, not to mention enormous, construction. Reduced to a rhyme for slander. 🙂
LikeLike
Surely not. But losing weight can be a fickle pastime, and something has to give-way, I suppose 🙂
LikeLike
Really VL, it’s far more important to be a well balanced person than to have large jugs. So it’s all for the best really. The other one had been 8 kilos smaller.
LikeLike
Stop complaining. After all it’s just a front.
LikeLike
Waxing hot and cold as fronts do tend.
LikeLike
I asked a question elsewhere and hope still that this further enquiry of you Vectis Lad for enlightenment offers me an answer… I do not know what the definitive pronunciation of slander is that you have put up to illustrate that, pronounced with an upper class Surrey accent, verandah will rhyme with it.
Born in North Queensland where the ‘dan’ in ‘dance’ must resonate with the same pronunciation as the name of a man called ‘Dan’, not with ‘darn’, I am particularly lost not understanding any pronunication of ‘verandah’ other than that the ‘ran’ in it is the same pronunciation as the verb ‘ran’ and emphasis falls on it.
Please?
LikeLike
And in the corner of the public bar sits Willie
I’m a little pimp with my hair gassed back
Pair a khaki pants with my shoe shined black
Got a little lady … walk the street
Tellin’ all the boy that she cain’t be beat
Twenny dollah bill ( I can set you straight )
Meet me onna corner boy’n don’t be late
Man in a suit with a bow-tie neck
Wanna buy a grunt with a third party check
Standin’ onna porch of the Lido Hotel
Floozies in the lobby love the way I sell:
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT RITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS
HOT ZITZ
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT ZITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS
Hot Wax?
LikeLike
Ah, but is it a Wurlitzer?
LikeLike
Excellent. Apparently I follow the Tigers too – my husband tells me so!
LikeLike
Who could not love a team so adept at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory ?
LikeLike
Pigs’ Psalm Book will make a good Chrissie present, all men in the family and amongst friends taken care of in one hit…
Another good one, Emmjay!
LikeLike
Thanks, H !
LikeLike
Good one Mikey
LikeLike
Thanks, Hung. Cheers.
LikeLike
I can see why Emmjay didn’t want to end the psalms competition. He loves it!
LikeLike
He DOES !
And besides, we have 36 more to do ! Ready for a Pig’s Arms booklet for impulse buys at POS in bookstores (if any still exist then). …. maybe for Christmas next year.
LikeLike
Thirty six more? There’s 150 psalms in the bible, aren’t there?
PS Love it. There’s more to come re: Foodge’s finances.
LikeLike
Depends on who you ask, Big. I have heard it said that there are many many. SO get right down to it and pork a few !
LikeLike
Well, I do love porking!
LikeLike