Simulated National Country Party Member
From the Pig’s Arms cub reporter Teddy Behr
In a stunning turdaround, the National Party of Counts has failed to replace a bombastic, bloated tomato-coloured, snaggle-toothed sexual deviant with a bombastic, bloated tomato-coloured gun deviant with sweaty under-arms, dressed by his mother.
Commentators were left wondering what this fat, bloated sunburnt brown land is coming to – and are awaiting with bated breath to see what kind of screw-up the deeply-considered alternative candidate will inject into the body politic. Something other than sperm or lead – they hoped.
—ooo—
Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle 
An expansion on the Bristol Stool Chart.
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So they have these in Bristol too ! Not the same quality as ours, I’ll wager.
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Or quantity.
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Both the Nats and the Libs never miss an opportunity to make a gross inappropriate appointment. Not much talent but they do go for the bottom of the pile.
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Certainly exemplifies the old adage about laying a big brown cable.
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Laughed on the train again 🤪 not as funny as a fart, more serious and dangerous- he said.
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I don’t understand. George would have been the perfect fit. And what a meeting of the minds he an Waffles would have been
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Yes, I’m betting that Waffles will be really missing that one. Would have served him right. Imagine having to work with arsehats like those turkeys – EVERY EFFING DAY !
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Gross ! But accurate ! Sometimes the news just isn’t pretty, Teddy.
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