Category Archives: Mark

This is Deep.

22 Sunday Oct 2017

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Ofta Church we go…baa baa

Traffic seems heavy this morning. You know wot happens. If you have  one car then you will get another therefore you will have two one cars that will interrupt your day. But hey, don’t mind me. I’m Sandy, your local parish priest that doesn’t believe in God. Pretty cool hey. A parish priest that doesn’t believe in God. Go up to your CEO and tell him or her that they don’t actually exist. Check out the facial expressions. Thems is so good they get paid thousands of times more than any one else in the company that actually does something. Can you believe that? Well I can.

Are you coming over to the Way of Gordon and the Church of Saint Generic Brand, hint, hint, come over and join in the festivities, kidding me if ya don’t?

A one car

 

I’m sitting in the front bar at the Pigs Arms. Bloody disgusting place, that’s why I visit. Now now, no, to try and convert these poor souls over to the Way of Gordon to the Church of Saint Generic Brand. Bring your own religion and tacos and we can have a meal after, sound okay?

Gordon is recanting in his usual highly religious way, tongues and betadines instead of uvulas and metaphors. “Hey, and did ya see Hacker’s face when wheeze told him that hees don’t exist know more, talk about double en titre with BBQ sauce…” and so the word was of Gordon.

Gordon can speak under water with a mouth full of pebbles, hmm.

“Well, yeah look I mean right okay for sure I really do think so, perhaps if I had more time but I agree you won’t see me wavier unless I see a better  argument for sure please trust me, I’m a nurse, lets forget that little brown paper bag but yes I agree with whatever I said” says Gib.

Wow, that got my word count up. “thanks Gib”. “No worries Hung”.

“Has the story actually started yet?” asks Honshades.

Lets see if I have all angles covered.

“No, well I don’t think so” says Angler. “Oh, hang on yes, Sandy’s here to convert us the Way of Gordon when really he just wants to drink ale.” Aren’t some parts of stories just real shit, er, um, if you know what I mean.

“Has anyone feed the chooks yet?” enquires Nurse Barbara who will be feeding the chooks for some time in the coming episodes.

“I think that if you change the name down at the railway station from Hornsby to Bondi that no one will really notice. Imagine the thrill of getting off at Hornsby, the wild surf, fresh air and blonde babes, yes I can see it now, what could possibly go wrong.” says Sister Yvonne.

Lets extrapolate this across other things like lets change the name of Ferrari to Datsun 120Y. Oh yes, this is real folks.

That’s right, nothing happened…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All at Sea

28 Thursday Sep 2017

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Yeah, the S.S. Sebago was out there somewhere, well it was last night during the storm, maybe we need a plaque or somefink…

The ship ploughed through the heavy seas with waves breaching the bow and the wind so cold as to chill your bones. Black as night with no moon and raging seas the ship continued it’s journey. The captain knew what needed to be done and that was to reach the Inner Cyberian port of Port Disendower by day break otherwise there would be trouble for all concerned.

The crew braced themselves for every impact of the rise and fall of the great ship and they secretly groaned underneath their breath so no one else would notice

The Sebago in serious trouble, all beer drunk…

there suffering or fear or worse, both. Only the captain knew what the cargo was and to tell

that secret could mean his life, or even worse, having to watch re-runs of Seinfeld.

“Aye, Capn” said the first mate. Look I hope you don’t mind me abbreviating captain to Capn as I’m a lousy typist plus it gives the story that pirate sort of feel. “Aye Capn” yes you’ve said that “this storm is an omen that we are doomed” cries the first mate(FM).

“Fuck off” says the Capn with his usual tact. “We must get this cargo through other wise all hell will break loose.”

“And what cargo would they be?” winks the FM as he only has one eye and the other one is closed.

I’m here for my brains but this stuff hurts my arse

“None you mind. Now chuck a right seems like wheeze is approaching some sort of guano infested rock up ahead.”

“You mean starboard Capn, wheeze don’t do right when wheeze at sea”

Oh FFS, thinks the captain, where does the author dig these characters up from. “Okay then turn starboard a bit”

“That ain’t guano Capn, that’s an iceberg” cries the FM.

“Great. Look chip some off and I’ll have it in my scotch later” claims the captain.

“But it’s gale force-winds Capn.”

“Yes, I went to school with Gail, bit of a dish was our Gail.”

Oh FFS thinks the FM, where does the author dig up these characters.

The ship narrowly misses the iceberg and continues it’s journey to Port Disendower.

The captain returns to his cabin for some cabernet, roast chicken and fresh baked

Hmm, chicken, well that’s what best to tell kiddies

bread when a knock comes at the door. It’s the FM.

“Capn, pirates on the port bow” he cries. Seems to do a lot of crying this FM.

“Tell them I’m busy and need to go to the podiatrist” says the captain.

“No daze is gunna board us, slit our throats and steal our precious but yet unknown cargo” replies the FM.

“Well blow them out of the water”

“What with?”

“Questions, always questions. Tell them if they ever want another Trotter’s Ale that granny will be very nasty to them, very nasty indeed, if fact granny may not even serve her wedgies with her famous Vegemite and herring sauce if they so harm us, subject to high court challenge. Get Foodge” replies the captain.

“Wot, wedgies with no sauce?”

“Yes indeed.”

Ready to load

The FM relays the message and with that the pirates scamper and the sun rises in the direction from which the sun rises. The boat pulls into the harbour with Merv and granny waiting patiently on the dock with the Zephyr. The gangplank goes down and the captain walks ashore. “Captain Captain at your service, cargo has arrived, all the fresh potatoes you need for your wedges.”

The FM faints.

Some of this story is true but not much really.

Granny sips on a Trotter’s Special waiting for the boat to come in

Steely Dan

12 Tuesday Sep 2017

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Well, sort of ….

 

I’m gunna add this post because I need to and in no way is this meant to detract from any list by Algernon who has has a much better talent than me at listing great songs.

Steely Dan became my musical life when I was around 19 years old. A friend got me into them by playing the Royal Scam album for three days in a row. I was hooked and prior to that is was Uriah Heep, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd and chuck in Black Sabbath.

I was a drummer at he time and later went on to the guitar. A mate told me that I was a great blues player even though I didn’t really understand at the time what he meant. He was 8th grade AMEB on the flute and a great Steely Dan fan.

You can read their history here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steely_Dan

As I got older, which happened quickly, I was drawn to folk like Stevie Ray Vaughan, Kenny Wayne Shepard, Rory Gallagher, Gary Moore, Jimi Hendrix and Roy Buchanan. Then even further back to Lighting Hopkins and Robert Johnson.

People would come from miles around just to hear me play the blues. It was great for my ego but the band I followed was Steely Dan. Tutu will tell you that I was a Steely Dan addict. It wasn’t pop,or rock or jazz or blues it was Steely Dan. Here are some of my favourite tracks.

Fire in the Hole

One of the best acoustic piano solos ever.

 

 

Don’t take me alive. My guitar teacher was in awe here, Larry Carlton on lead guitar.

 

 

Peg – Funky and along with Josie was Steely Dans answer to disco.

Suppose may as well include Josie

 

Tutu and I emailed Steely Dan to play this one when they came to Australia.

 

Then there was this one most Aussies will know.

 

I could go on but these are just the few that come to mind. Vale Walter Becker, you will be missed by me and Tutu and the millions of fans all over the the world.  Here’s a song from a band that you produced called China Crisis from Scotland. You did cut me.

 

Merv goes Solar

07 Thursday Sep 2017

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Merv and the boys having a few Trotters at the front bar

 

Merv goes Solar.

Story by Mark.

Merv is a bit worried at the moment as he has received a power bill for the pub from the WheezeGunnaRipYouOff power company. Apparently the power bill for the Pigs Arms has gone up from $4 a year to $5 dollars a year. And if you take 4 away from 5 you get, um, well a really big number, maybe even binary.

“Granny, get ear” yells Merv, “Somefinks wrong with Bill”.

“Who the hell is Bill, anyway I’m to busy making wedgies with my famous herring and

Granny gets on top

Vegemite sauce” replies Granny in a fit of rage.

“No its electricity Bill, the one that the honest straight up government that never told a lie said it wouldn’t happen” says Merv.

“But days a pack of poofters Merv, days as bent as Alan Jones” gruffs Granny.

“But if you take 4 away from 5 you get an awful increase in our power bills. Wheeze need to talk to the pub owner” implores Merv. “However wheeze don’t know who that is.”

Gordon materialises at the bar. Geez, I wish he wouldn’t do that as he may scare kiddies.

“Gordon, do you own the Pigs Arms?” asks Merv.

“Nah, not me mate I voted Labor. So lets work this through, fictional characters wont, so Granny, Merv, Hedgie, Fern and Foodge are out. Now pass me the phone book. I’ll dial the Pigs Arms and see who answers” says Gordon.

What was that phone number again

Ring, ring, ring ring ring etc., as we all know it would only be woman to answer the fone, the men are too busy scratching their nuts and boasting about how good they was on the footy field. “Hello, The Window Dressers Arms Pig and Whistle, Granny speaking”

“Granny I’d like to speak to Dee Owner” says Gordon using his best British accent.

Granny announces “Phone call for Dee, Dee Owner, phone call for Dee Owner.”

The crew look perplexed and say nothing as Emmjay appears out of the men’s with urine stain intact on the front of his pants, forgot to shake that last drop and takes the call.

“Yes, Emmjay hear, to whom is I speaking” replies the only educated one in the room, well except for the girls.

“My name is Goldenrod Longeron” replies Gordon using his quick wit and a gizmo he got from Spaceworld on special for $9.99 to make him appear godly. “It’s to do with your electricity Bill that has gone up by a $1 per year and your staff are concerned about how this bill will be paid seeing no one pays their extensive bar tabs at your establishment. Are you the owner?”

“Oh no” says Emmjay “ Therese Trouserzoff is the owner you would have to speak to

“Therese!”
“Trouserzoff!”
Lovely to meet you

him or her.”

“Well is he or she there?” asks Gordon.

“Um no, but give me your name, number,  breast size and penis length and I’ll get him or her to call you” dodges Emmjay.

“Okay, my name is Dendron Dongle Rondo and my number is 555-5555 and eyes from the WheezeGunnaRipYouOff company, 44DD and 30 cm ” replies Gordon.

Emmjay is starting to shit himself at this stage and thinks well at least that matches the urine stain on his $500 Levi’s. One front one rear.

Wadda ya think about going renewable?

“Hey, I’ve got an idea” chips in Merv “Lets go solar and piss this wanker off. I remember at skoll learning so la fark tea dough, wadda ya reckon.”

 

 

 

The mind, if you have one, boggles.

 

Americans hate beards…

Episode 94 – Foodge the Bowelactic Wars Part 2

13 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by in Foodge Private Dick, Mark

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Foodge readies himself

Story by Mark.

Foodge looks at himself in the mirror, dusting off the cigarette ash and rehearsing his lines for the up coming trial of Merv breaching the constipation.

Your honour my client is a simple man. Hmm, no that won’t do, Your honour my client is a psychopath that will hunt you down and kill you, hmm, no that won’t do either. Well what am I to do about all this. Well I guess you need to know about the original offence.

I’ll spell it out for you. After reading the letter that Merv received what actually happened is that Merv kicked a dog up the arse for urinating on the tyres of his Zephyr that was parked in the village square, down the the road and just round the corner from the Pigs Arms. Dogs are allowed to urinate on your tyres if you over stay the parking limit of 30 minutes however when one visits Rosie or Glenda one may need a little more time than that.

So we gather at the court, the Stratospheric High Court as this is constipational. The dog is protected under the constipation Section Infinity, sub section blah blah. Regardless of that Gordon will be my back up and Gib and Angler will be waiting downstairs in the Zephyr with their shotguns ready, just in case.

With fries?

The Magistrate we have today is Ronald MacDonnell known around here here as “Big Mac” or the “Hanging Judge” so things are looking really bad plus the prosecution is being headed by Annie Arsehole.

“Your Honour, I rest my case” says Foodge.

“Well what case is that?” replies the Magistrate.

“Well I caught the train from Tamworth and my case rested in the luggage compartment therefore my client is innocent”

“Your Honour I object, the defendant is guilty under section infinity subsection blah blah under the constipation” interjects Annie Arsehole.

“Well, lets adjourn for lunch, say scallops fried in garlic with a nice white wine.” replies the Magistrate.

Interval music.

I fucking hate chips…

The Magistrate seems to be like a rhinestone cowboy however we will persist. I musk get Merv off this charge.

“Your honour, I call a witness , Pat the Dog” calls Foodge.

The clerk swears in Pat. “Do you swear to tell the whole truth but nothing else but the truth so help you Gordon?”

“Can opener mate.” replies Pat.

“Now Pat, can you recall for the court that day that my client Merv was apparently in breach of the constipation?” asks Foodge.

“Can oath mate. I looked at the clock on the town square and realised that Merv had overstayed his parking limit. Busting for a piss I let go on his tyres. He then came around the back of the car and gave me a foot suppository.” says Pat.

I fucking hate burgers…

“A foot suppository?” pushes Foodge.

“Yes, a kick up the arse” replies Pat.

“Your Honour, I object” says Annie Arsehole “ Kiddies may be watching.”

“Objection upheld. Mr Foodge and Pat the Dog, please restrain yourselves.”

“So what happened then?” asks Foodge.

“Well, I crapped on the lawn at the Pleece HQ” says Pat.

And so it goes.

I fucking hate burgers and chips…

Episode 93 – Foodge The Bowelactic Wars 1

01 Tuesday Aug 2017

Posted by in Foodge Private Dick, Mark

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This is shit mate, trust me, I’m a nurse…

 

Foodge Episode 93 -The Bowelactic Wars.

Story by Mark.

Foodge paints a lonely figure at the bar, nudging his tonic and gin, it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, la dee blah dah dee dah dah dah dah.

“Shut the eff up Foodge. Monty Python rules here mate, no singing and especially Billy Joel” says Merv.

Billy and Joel give each other a hand

So the painted lonely figure got up and walked away and said “Ewe Finnish Foodge? And wheeze in the EFFALL Union mate, wheeze fictional and wheeze want our money now, turn your head to the left and cough!” The phoneticists in the viewing audience were hysterical, not Foodge of course, he simply held his nuts in one hand and said “Fank ewe my darlin, may fertility haunt ewe and meek.”

Counter reset.

Gin and tonics are wonderful on a hot afternoon under the shade of a good tree. Sensibly my parents, Mr and Mrs

This girl once saw a Fig Tree

Foodge Senior, planted Moreton Bay Figs. One in the front yard and one in the back. Never had to mow a lawn ever. Please don’t ever challenge me on the veracity of that statement, kiddies may be watching.

Merv turned the corner behind the bar. “Foodge, mate, I need help, like real help, like you know, help mate. I got a letter that says I have to go to court as I’ve breached the constipation, under section infinity, sub section A + B = C plus square rooting, what ever that is but I wouldn’t mind trying it” grins Merv.

“Let me see that young man, where’s the bong?” Foodge foodigises, checking navel lint theory and querying cyberianism.

“Foodge, read the letter, she said her name is Maria and shes addressing this to your wife says he won’t be coming home, on a Saturday night…”

Foodge nose what he wants(wink, wink) “that’s twice now, no more singing please especially who ever that was.”

You know, Foodge is a good man, a decent man, a man of honor or so, in his most humble opinion and reading the letter basically upside down “You have a case young man. Not just to the High Constipation Court, not even to the Very High Constipation Court or the Extremely Very High Constipation Court. We go straight to the Stratospheric Constipation Court”.

To be continued…

Oh yes, it’s real…unfortunately

Episode 92 – Foodge hits the road.

21 Friday Jul 2017

Posted by in Foodge Private Dick, Mark

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Won’t someone think of the children

Story by Mark.

You know, the one thing that is certain is that nothing is certain. Don’t you just hate pithy sayings like that, that make sense. Now you’re okay with me getting things off my chest, nothing like a long bow, the other one that bugs me is this verse of a song who I have no idea who wrote it,

All men, all men are liars their words ain’t worth no more that worn out tyres

Hey girls, bring rusty pliers, to pull this tooth all men are liars and that’s the truth*

Said by a man making it a lie. Need I go on.

I’m in the flyer on my way to Newie, first class overnight, the Bish knows how to treat his favourite barista.

[Stop Hung, it’s barrister. Cannot I, Foodge, not perform on the stage, true to my character? Am I not a person with needs and wants, a light in a window breaks and a butterfly flays it’s wings half way round the planet so prepare for a hurricane. Those are things that make me fight for truth and justice for my client and heaps of Cyberian dollars your Honor. Objection over ruled Foodge.]

Okay then well, seen it’s being nice to me week, barrister and especially after me and the Bish had this conversation.

“Look Foodge, it’s like this. Gordon has rung me and said you should get out of town for a few days, you know just till things settle down.”

“What things?” replies Foodge, stiff upper lip and all that.

All aBout Cyberians

“Oh c’mon Foodge, it’s in the press, the Cyberograph, even the ABC(All aBout Cyberians).

“Well, Bish I have no idea about what you are talking about. Tell me what episode number are you up to?”

“Um, 94, you?”

“Er, 92, look, wheeze is both in the wrong episode, easy fixed, see ya then, been great catching up, say hello to Bronwyn, is the overnight to Newie all on Gordon still okay?”

“Well, yes, due to all the confusion we’ll catch up later.”

“Um, what am I about to do in the next exciting episode?” inquires Foodge.

“Piss off.”

Interval

Pie tasters wanted, apply online or call Alan now on 555 5555…

 

Gib and Angler pick me up at the station in the modified Zephyr. They both have shotguns stuffed down heir pants and bragged how the girls like a big member. I thought yes, some times spotting dicks is a talent. I should now, I’ve been a dick for so long it’s become second nature. I’ve been a proud dick and times and I’ve flopped

A modified Zephyr

for various reasons however I am now convinced that once you are a dick you will always be a dick and I’d even go as far to say that I was born a dick and just like all those other dicks around me.

[Oh, spare us please, I’ll interject on behalf of everyone and I’m writing this. Get on with it.]

“Fantastic car, how much modification did you need to do?” asks Foodge.

“Nah, not much, well a bit, sort of a fair bit that turned into a lot. Once we could get the door handles and window winders working we were set. Then there was the motor however this story has a word limit” says Gib.

“Wadda ya doing in Newie?” asks Angler “Hope you don’t want us to kill no one. Good game of footy this weekend and to be frank one of the two give me indigestion.”

“Nah, Gordon and the Bish sent me here to get ready for episode 94. Apparently I’m in the shit”

“Nothings changed then” chorus the lads.

 

*Nick Lowe

“What’s that in your pocket?”

Episode 91B – Foodge steps up to the Plate

07 Friday Jul 2017

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Foodge likes to set his hair before court

 

It was midnight. It had to be midnight, it was dark and Foodge slivered underneath the covers to keep warm and doze back off into dream land. You know the one, where money is plentiful and the girls are, well endowed. No matter how hard Foodge tried and yes it got really really hard at times, the banging at the door would not go away. Oh I get it, you thought…

“Foodge-o-rama, get the fuck up, you have an episode at the Pigs Arms to appear in, Big M has put you in it” cries O’Hoo, standing at the door of the baristas apartment.

O’Hoo just has this way about him

“No one wants to write it so Hung is going to do it. I’m off for a few glass canoes, I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Who’s Big M?” says Foodge.

“Gib W, now hurry up. Granny has been reminiscing and you know what happens when granny gets emotional and has access to a shotgun.”

Hmm, yes, I do, thinks Foodge and if only granny could see him as her real soul mate and lover. He imagined walks along the riverbank on sunny days, picnics, good coffee, absorbing the suns rays and then intimacy, touching, feeling, lovingly man to woman [Okay cut, Mark here we get the picture].

Granny had contacted O’Hoo after Manne had handed her his mobile phone. “Get Foodge, Manne needs help.”

Manne, temporarily caught up

The bar is now buzzing with activity, no not the insect kind but everyone came in to try and help Manne.

“[Theme from Rocky as Foodge makes a grand entrance] Yes everyone, it is eye, Foodge, come to avert this horrible crisis. Show me Granny, this offensive phone message that our poor intellectually challenged Manne had to cope with.”

Granny hands Foodge the phone. Foodge diligently, like all legal folk, reads everything in the message very carefully. He pauses for a few moments,

“Hmm, battery is low, shit, now even technology has depression.”

Ewe fink dats funny, wait till Episode 92

Merv: Now it’s Stress

15 Thursday Jun 2017

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I had short back and sides before I read this article…

 

Now it’s Stress.

Story by Mark.

Merv stands behind the bar, erect and proud, [Mark here Hung, steady now] surveying the ambience of the Pigs Arms, you know stale cigarettes, spilt beer, those unique fruity flavours however there was something worrying him.

“Granny, I’m worried and stressed” he cries.

“Oh for fuck sake Merv, what’s wrong now. Are you having another shitbox moment?”

Granny in her PJ’s

For those who failed to read the last highly stimulating, drama packed episode, and you know who you are, yes I see a few hands, you can find out what a shitbox is here.

“Here, have a pill, works for me, just happened to have a sleeeevvveee, hehehe hahaha” crows Sister Yvonne.

“Nah, 50 ml eucalyptus oil, 500 ml normal saline, rubber tube up the arse, works every time and wait till the koalas start humping you” interjects Nurse Barbara as she puffs on a fag, sips a pint, reads the form guide and takes part in conversations. Womanhood, wonderful to watch. “Anyway if enemas aren’t your thing ask Hon, she’s a survivor.”

“Yeah mate” says Hon using Cyberian vernacular “wot’s the problem Merv, car won’t start, fingernail broken, kicked ya toe. I can deal with it mate, been there done that.”

Merv in the PA XI

“Well, I read that I’m going to be replaced by Aut O’Mation, some Irish bloke apparently. And I’m getting pressure from my agent who thinks I signed up for too many episodes at the Pigs Arms.”

“So who’s your agent?” asks Hon.

“Emmjay”

“Hmm…”

“Hmm…”

“So what is the most pressing issue?”

“Well I signed up for 20 episodes per year at the Pigs Arms and I’m finding it way too much work.”

“Hey I only got 10” pipes in Angler.

Yeah, us too, come the calls from the crew. “What about you Hon? How many did ewe

The Crew

getz?” asks Gib W who suddenly appears at the bar. Must let him know that this magic stuff can scare kiddies as you never know they may be watching.

“Er, um, yeah, like, you know, sort of maybe 15…”

Angler calls the crew together. “What do we want?? ” he cries.

“Um, dunno, wot do wheeze want Angler?” says Gib.

“Um, I know EFFALL and we want it now.”

“EFFALL? Nah mate we don’t want eff all, this is for us fellow space travellers, we make a stand together, yeah, another round.”

“No EFFALL(Equally Fair Fiction for All Languishing Linguists).”

So the chant followed four hours after with many a Trotter’s consumed and a happy night had by all. As the crowd faded the chant still echoes.”Wadda we want, eff all, when da we want it, now”, think about it.

Hung and the boys

Breaking News: Gordon has sent Hung to the scene of a meeting between the management of the Pigs Arms and the Fictional Characters Association. Hung can you hear us,

Yes, look, I’m just going to interview some of the key players as they come out of the building here at Cyberia Central, this is quite a revolt, the characters are threatening strike action if their demands aren’t met. Here’s what Merv had to say,

“…bloody terrible, never knowing one day to the next, ever playing the goon…”

then Granny

“… shocking. It’s either me or Sister Yvonne in the black underwear, must give Hung a chubbie…”

and Foodge

“…the matter is before the court therefore I am unable to say anything however it’s a fit up…”

Feelin lucky punk…

Merv is Spaced Out

02 Friday Jun 2017

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…

Merv is Spaced Out

Story by Mark.

Sandy was sitting at the bar fiddling with his drink, Trotter’s Ale of course, what else, when Merv approached and in his usual affable way thought he would engage in some jaunty repertoire about space.

“Hey Space priest, how the devil are you? What’s it really like, you know, out there?”

Sandy

Merv loved calling Sandy a priest because he knew he hated it, a bit of ribbing I guess, well not until the next punch up anyway. Merv points to the sky and scowls his face and growls lowly as if space is really spooky. Well, to be honest and that’s copiously rare, actually space is really spooky.

“Bless you my son for asking” replies Sandy.

“I’m not your son!”

“Yes, I know but that’s how us parish priests talk, bless you my son, go the farce has ended, thanks be to Gordon, you know, that kinda shit.”

“But I’m still not your son” persists Merv.

“Look, it’s zarking metaphorical”

“What’s that mean?”

“Dunno, I’m just reading the back of this coaster.”

[Sister Yvonne here. Jesus wept Hung, don’t you know what a metaphor is? Not happy

Sister Yvonne

Hung, now I have to read this and contribute at the same time.

Hung: So what is a metaphor then, I dunno?

Sister Yvonne: It’s a noun.

Hung: Thank you Sister. I’m glad that’s cleared up.

Sister Yvonne: It’s always left to us nurses to save everything…dot dot dot and it could even become DOT DOT DOT now that I’m in charge of the keyboard, hahaha.]

“Well, now that you ask space is sort of spacey” continues Sandy “you know big and spacey.”

[Big M here. For fucks sake Hung saying space is big and spacey is akin to saying water is wet and grass is green. Do you want me to take over writing this bit?

Hung: Well, no, not really but space is big and spacey. I guess there is a lot of black and stars and shit but there is a lotta room out there.

Big M: Here’s a new concept for you Hung, think about it.]

Merv

“Yeah, I like that” says Merv “big and spacey, sounds great. When I was young I was taught that water was wet, grass was green and now space is big and spacey, wow, perfect man. I guess there would be a lot of black and stars and shit but the sounds like a lotta room out there to me.”

“Yep, big and spacey for sure.”

“Bullshit” says Angler. “More space in back of Zephyr even with shotgun and dogs”

“Crikey! Where did that Yorkshire accent come from Angler?”

Angler gets hungry

asks Nurse Barbara who had been listening to everything while reading the form guide. Now is that multi tasking or what.

“I did a bit of rehearsing before the gig but anyway I reckon it’s all Gordon’s magic” smirks Angler hardly able to believe the most outrageous lie he has ever had to tell.

“Nah, it’s rocks, gotta have rocks” pipes in Shoe.

“Hey shoe, you forgot to scramble your name to Hon Shades.”

“Oh, shit. Nah, it’s rocks, gotta have rocks” pipes in Hon Shades.

Oh, well, if they only knew the truth which is…

Baiame Redraws the Map of Mirriyuula’s Heart