• The Pig’s Arms
  • About
  • The Dump

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

Tag Archives: Abbott

Riddler ?

28 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Abbott

Abbott ridlerIn the Pig’s Arms latest what I saw on the way to the pub series we have ……

A Delightful Host – says Deputy Assistant to Zimbabwean Third Under Secretary’s Cousin

16 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Abbott, baseball, G20, Hockey, poker

tony-abbott-g20-620x400

“I said to Vlad, ‘I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours and it was a dead heat – they were both this big !”*

Manne Overboard at the G20.

Pig’s Arms correspondenty waxes lyrical at the well-dressed-only gig in Brisvegas.

Well, it was a careering highlight for the Abbottmeister – hosting the G20.  It was AAA listers only including the Zimbabwean Deputy Assistant to the Third Under Secretary for Forest and Mine.  He was quoted as saying “I was very impressed when Mr Abort took out his banjo and played “Black Mountain Breakdown”.  I think that was before he took out his wedding photograph – with his lovely sister wife Jebeen.  And what  a talent – donkey breeding, cooking’ chitlins and grits, cussin’ and spitting’ – all at the one time.  He had a still photograph too”.

German Chancellor (and patron of the Pig’s Arms resident bikie gang) Angle Murky warmed the hearts of local Brisvegans with her down home humour, sensible tracky dacks and funny stories about former East German weight lifters and invading Poland.

British PM David Cameroon… no, wait, that’s a country …. oh, confusion ! Silly me, expressed relief at not having to put on “one of those fucking ridiculous batik shirts AGAIN and retired to his suite to entertain Muffy – a beagle sniffer dog with whom he had struck a special relationship at the airport – and her well-connected handler, Des R.M. Phetamines.

US Pres.  Borat Obama hailed his meeting with the Australian PM as a grate success although he felt that the chewin’ tobacco spitting’, crawdad eating and hog wrastlin’ triathlon was probably better understood by his predecessor.

“Most of the steamed guests were hurriedly packing up when I got there” said a thin, pale and spotty version of the Australian Treasurer, “I think they were saying they had to get to somewhere important in a hurry”.

* Clarification – Mr Abort was talking diameter, not length….

 

Abbott to Bring Back Conscription

30 Tuesday Sep 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Conscription, unemployed youth

conscription  Emmjay – Can’t Help Himself Again

Not content with being at the cutting edge, Pig’s Arms ranga reporter Brian O’Kerry speaks to us from over the event horizon today, beyond the Western skyline.

This is his story.

He choses to start now.

In a shocking, but entirely consistent way, the PM with the leastest, the man with no money in his budget, no heart in his budget and in fact no budget in his budget, is about to spend millions each day sending our troops into Iraq (AGAIN !).

The retired military (only place to be when a war is on…. retired) are all advising that this will be a long war. Long these days means more than a decade. So get ready for a fucked economy for ANOTHER decade at least.

But there’s a more pressing item on the neo-fascist Abbotian agenda. Youth unemployment. Hmmm. War and unemployment. Hmmm. What did we do when we had this problem in the sixties ?

I REMEMBER ! We brought in an entirely unfair ballot that forced young men (note – only young men – and young men from the working class to boot to boot camp on the way to having their lives entirely fucked up in Vietnam.

Now we all know how massively unpopular that was, but it was at a time when people gave a stuff about a fair go and stood against political evil – shoulder to shoulder. This is now. Every man and woman for themselves. Stuff you, I definitely am all right Jack.

So, it is with heavy heart that, looking over the horizon, our Pig’s Arms cub reporter reports that the Abbott Government will be bringing in conscription on the first Tuesday in January when the Reserve Bank will raise interest rates and sell bonds to fund Australia’s contribution to the newly discovered fresh war on terror (a.k.a. demonising everyone with a beard, a burqua or both. Especially both.)

In a fresh departure from his usual punitive stance, Abbott will be offering nashos a holiday at an unnamed country retreat with unlimited paintball credits and the chance to play “Fortune of War” after their usual bedtimes. And after that, if they reach level 47, they will win an all-expenses paid tour of sun and sand resorts in exotic places. Much more fulfilling than doing break and enters to fund a crack habit in some hole in the ground housing commission suburb.

Did I mention the opium ? Free opium too.

So, don’t worry Australian youth – about having an unpropitious birth date. There will be just one exemption – for the poor bastards unlucky enough to be born on a day without a “y” in it. Hah ! Just joking. Everyone will be able to go – unless they have a dad or mum in the cabinet, in which case they’ll be given a non-existent scholarship worth $60,000 to a fashion college.

So, there you have it, FOPA (Friends of Pig’s Arms). Welcome to the new Abbott bastardry – Conscription II.

Beheading the Labor Party

21 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Abbott, indefinite detention without charge, police arrests, terrorism

5752014-4x3-940x705

Rant by Emmjay

It was tense at the Pig’s Arms this week with the news that the AFP and NSW coppers had saved one or two of our random population from suffering the fate of those unfortunate and now deceased westerners in the wrong place at the wrong time – anywhere in the Middle East.

I’m referring to the news coming down on the electric television in the front bar of the pub – about the pre-dawn raid on 25 western suburbs Sydney homes – and some in Brisbane looking for weapons, explosives and computers and phones laden with incriminating evidence of terrorist malfeasance plotting.

RIGHT HERE in the backyard of the pub.

There it was in graphic detail and I might add, beautifully choreographed and shot – dudes with cheap tracky dacks and beards with their hands cable-tied behind them, sitting on the nature strip with reaaallly beefy storm-trooper cops standing over them in the pre-dawn dark. Lots of those pics. Man, how lucky are we being protected by these heroes!

Amazing how the reporters were there on the job to get the action ! Helicopters with search lights !

Fifteen people taken into custody. Three charged after two days – and the rest let free.

But we did get a glimpse of a longish object under a cloth that COULD have been a sword.

And there’s an allegation that there was a phone call from some bearded psychopath supporting the Islamic State to target arrestee #1 instructing him to behead some random bystander and drape them with the IS flag in some really public place. Somewhere.

And so the media went into hyperdrive pedalling rumours about domestic terrorism. Not much actual evidence mind you, but since our illustrious illustrated illusionist leader was busy despatching troops back to Iraq – a nation to which we just recently cut all economic aid – and since we have had to tighten our belts (pay attention poor, sick and disadvantaged people, mentally ill, victims of domestic violence, unemployed people and students) – I guess Tony had to beat up some excuse for doing what America told us to do – even if we clearly cannot afford it.

I mean – what does a squadron of fighter planes and a few thousand troops cost per day compared to keeping open a few women’s shelters and schools for troubled youth ?  Gotta be much cheaper to fund sham military actions than look after our own, doesn’t it ?

I don’t know about you, friends of the Pig’s Arms, but I have a strong feeling of being sold a pile of poo tickets by the government and the media. And I’m ashamed at how keenly our media wants to whip up racism and antipathy towards our Muslim brothers and sisters.

The fact that (on the pretext that the confiscated computers and phones have so much data that it will take time to go through it all) the Australian Government had to trot out Howard era draconian anti-terrorist laws (unlimited detention without charge) to be able to hold the alleged criminals in custody indefinitely speaks volumes.

Here, friends we see it before our own eyes – Tony Abbott’s own ‘children overboard’ moment.

This government is bad enough without creating wild and irrational fear and turning Australia into a dyed in the wool police state. Check out the pictures. They say it all.

Which is in stark contrast with the Labor party who just stand there, looking concerned in case some of the mad bullshit might be remotely true – and saying nothing.

But as far as the Labor Party is concerned, they might as well pack up their tent and abandon the next election, because when the mindless people who voted these scum in have a choice between Bill Shorten and Australia’s answer to Vlad Putin,  I’m pretty sure we can all guess who they think will best protect them.

So, show us the evidence, politicians and cops – some weapons of mass destruction or something, you lying bastards. Hurry up and manufacture some at least.

Or shut the fuck up, let the arrested people go and then you can just piss off.

You Call THAT a Dick ?

21 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Uncategorized

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Abbott, AK-47, Downed Malaysian Jet, Putin, Russian Mid-range missile, Ukrain Terrorist Outrage

abbott-putin-2

Doggerel by Emmjay

There was shouting in the car park
And the word had got around that
The mad Syberian timberwolf was in the mood for a meal of hound.

He’’d been prowling round the back lot, hungry for a spat
And the local mongrel pit bull was certainly up for that.

It was true that our old Tony was fond of lashing out
And throwing muscly punches towards any left wing snout.
But the Mad Syberian timber wolf was also lean and mean
And liked to take his shirt off to show that he was keen.

He loped along the fence line, looking for his chance
He doubled back and forwards – an expectant rabid dance.

It is said that our old Tony was just trialthlete ham
And Vladimir, let’s make it clear, could scarcely give a damn.

So when Vlad’s team was caught out bad, a day we’ll not forget
When his Russian mid-range missile brought down Malaya’s hapless jet
Our good old team had come off bad; we’d lost dozens from our side
And it all came down to Tony to save some national pride.

So Tony to the plate stepped up and called the Vlad a dork
It was an act of provocation and not just casual chat
He said to Vlad that time had come to walk the fuckin’ talk
And Vlad was shocked to realise Tony had the balls for that.

In the back of the Pig’s Arms car park, Merv had organised a  ring
Of chalk spread in the gravel – it was just an impromptu thing
But good enough for pugs like them to do their crafty sting.

There was clearly spit and vitriol, two haters full of hate
Muscling up and puffing up with a ridiculous strutting gait
And Tony being cagey thought he’d send poncy Vlad to heaven
But hadn’t figured in Vlad’s corner, was an AK-47.

The night grew late, the moon had riz

At the drive-in, lovebirds was rootin’

And Tony learnt the hardest way
Not to fuck with Putin.

What’s Eating Tony Abbott?

24 Tuesday Jun 2014

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Neville Cole

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

Abbott, obama, Tony Abbott

US-AUSTRALIA-DIPLOMACY-OBAMA-ABBOTT

Story by Pig’s Arms North America Correspondent, Neville Cole

The best thing about being the Pig’s Arms North American correspondent is the unspoken freedom I have to do whatever it takes to chase down a story.  Interestingly, I have learned over the years that the best stories don’t have to be chased. The best stories come to you. The trick is letting them find you.

This can be tougher than it seems. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve sat for hours at the bar of some swanky hotel eating mixed nuts and ordering overpriced cocktails waiting for something important to happen; but, every now and then, it does.

Case in point… Not long ago I was hanging out on the beltway, working the angles, trying to wrangle an exclusive with President Obama when quite by accident (or was it fate?) I happened to spot this miserable-looking bloke sitting all alone in a dark corner. He appeared to be quite literally crying in his beer.

When he lifted up his face to the flickering light, I could just make out that it was none other than reigning Australian Prime Minister, Tony Abbott. I decided to see if couldn’t cheer the poor bastard up. I ordered up two Pink Fizzes and wandered over to make my acquaintance. Here’s how our conversation went:

Me: Hey bud… You look like you could use a drink.

Tony (wiping eyes): Wha? Who? What?

Me: Pink Fizz?

Tony: Oh… Ah… Sure. Why not?

Me: Tough day?

Tony: Wasn’t supposed to be. This was going to be my chance to shine. I met with POTUS today.

Me: You met with the President of the United States? Wow!

Tony: He’s POTUS, so what? I’m the PMA. I was born for this job! People know I get stuck right in to it and that’s exactly what I wanted Barack Obama to find out for himself. I didn’t tell him just what he wanted to hear either. I let him know what I thought of his taxation policy for a start.

Me: How did that go over?

Tony: How do you think? He looked at me like I had just floated in to town on a boat.

Me: That’s not right… He may be the leader of the free world; but you’re the wonder down under and if anyone knows about unfair taxation policies, it’s you.

Tony: Thanks, mate. That’s kind of you to say; but, to tell the truth, I don’t feel like the wonder down under. Right now, I feel a lot more like poor old Jesus.

Me: Jesus?

Tony: Cause I’m being crucified in the press.

Me: What for?

Tony: For one, they’re all saying I’m not a real conservationist.

Me: You’re a terrific conversationalist! I can tell that right off the bat…

Tony: That’s what I was telling that Barack Obama. I told him I reckon we all should rest lightly on the planet. I let him know that the terms “conservative” and “conservation” have common root cause both of them mean keeping all the good stuff for ourselves.

Me: Sounds like the two of you had a very constructive and genial discussion.

Tony: I thought so. I just want to do the right thing by our planet, you know. That’s why I keep in such close contact with all them forestry blokes and mining companies…they’re the ones out in the field. They are in touch with the earth every day. They know what’s going on. But this Barack Obama…to be honest, I don’t think he got where I was coming from.

Me: Too bad George W isn’t running things still…something tells me you and he would’ve see eye to eye.

Tony: Of course. You see. The great thing about GW is… he knows Jesus. I was trying to tell Obama that he needs to get his Immigration thing under control. I told him that Jesus was the answer because he knew that there was a place for everything and that’s it is not necessarily everyone’s place to come to Australia or America either for that matter. Obama looked at me like I was from outer space… then I remembered… he’s a Muslim.

Me: Of course!

Tony: Well, everything went to hell in a hand basket after that. Who would ever imagine that you can’t talk about Jesus in America? He was practically born there! Still, if there’s one thing I’ve learned being the PMA, it’s that with great power comes great envy. You find out real quick that everyone is out to bring you down. You know right away that every little thing you say will be taken out of context and blown up completely out of proportion. You can’t even have a laugh with a 62 year old sex worker anymore. You can never take a single step wrong. Until you walked a mile in my shoes you don’t know what it’s like to be me. No one can live up to all these expectations.

No one can be the suppository of all knowledge! Not even me…

Me: I’m…lost for words.

Tony pulled his mouth into a tight smile, put a hand on my shoulder, and said quietly, almost wistfully: “I know mate, I know. Me too.” Then he thanked me for the Pink Fizz and walked off alone in the Washington night.

Editor’s note:  Neville didn’t specifically say that Tony didn’t pick up the tab.  He’s that kind of guy.

Come on Abbott; ask Putin to release one of us.

26 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Greenpeace, Putin, Russia

untitled
All of Greenpeace activists have been released except the Australian; Colin Russell. All the others were released on bail as a result of strong representation by those governments whose citizens were jailed in Russia. Australia has only made token gestures so far. Why?

Sea tribunal orders release of Greenpeace activists and ship Friday 22 November 2013

The International Tribunal for the Law of the Sea has told Russia to release all 30 Greenpeace activists and the Dutch ship Arctic Sunrise on payment of a €3.6m bank guarantee. The crew should be free to leave Russian territory and the guarantee should be paid by the Dutch government into a Russian bank, the Hamburg-based body said. It would be wrong to make the crew suffer because of a dispute between the two countries, the tribunal said in its ruling. The Arctic Sunrise sails under the Dutch flag and two of the crew are Dutch nationals. The ship was seized by the Russian coastguard while protesting at Gazprom drilling in Arctic waters. The Netherlands went to the tribunal in an effort to have the crew and ship freed. However, Russia has refused to cooperate with the hearing and it is unclear what status Friday’s ruling will have. In addition, most of the activists have already been released on bail ahead of their trial in February next year. However, they have been ordered to remain in Russia, Nos television said.Read the ruling © DutchNews.nl – See more at:
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2013/11/sea_tribunal_orders_release_of.php#sthash.9NOESEYC.dpuf

Judi Moylan: Abbott is being unduly provocative.

24 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by gerard oosterman in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Newmatilda, Scoot Morrison

1210_morrison_a

Disclaimer: Please note that this is an article by Judi Moylan published in various media including Newmatilda. It is not about Italy, Norway, Sweden or Holland nor about Gerard.

Asylum Policy A ‘Vortex Of Political Posturing’

By Judi Moylan

Asylum Policy A 'Vortex Of Political Posturing'

The Abbott government’s Operation Sovereign Borders is unduly provocative, writes former Liberal MP Judi Moylan, as she concludes her series on the history of Australian border policy.

This is the second in a two-part series about the history of Australian border policy. Read the first part here.https://newmatilda.com/2013/10/21/echoes-white-australia

The Gang Of Four

When Parliament resumed in 2005, four Liberal Party Members of Parliament, Petro Georgiou, Russell Broadbent, Bruce Baird and I, met to discuss concerns about indefinite mandatory detention and its impact on children.

Petro Georgiou had commenced drafting a Private Members Bill to amend the Migration Act. Once the drafting was complete, the group met with then prime minister John Howard to advise their intentions. To avoid the embarrassment of a split on the benches, the prime minister asked for time to speak to his cabinet colleagues.

During the hiatus, the mistaken and unlawful detention of two Australian citizens, Cornelia Rau and Vivian Alvarez Solon, aroused considerable public disquiet and sympathy. Cornelia Rau was erroneously held in immigration detention for 10 months and Vivian Alvarez Solon wrongly deported and “dumped” at the Manila airport in a wheelchair. Inquiries into both cases led to a damning exposé of inadequate care, lack of openness and scrutiny in the system and the pervasive culture of “denial and self justification” within the Department of Immigration.

Public alarm over detainees covertly held indefinitely heightened with the case of Peter Qasim, a stateless person detained for seven years. Qasim’s case became a cause célèbre when it was taken up by prominent businessman Dick Smith. The Sydney Morning Herald revealed the government’s decision to soften its hard line on mandatory detention. Under a headline ‘Free at last, but a prisoner still of his tortured mind’, it disclosed that Qasim would be one of 50 people locked up for more than two years, who would now be summarily released on bridging visas.

Churches, non-government organisations and a growing number of web-based social media commentators exerted growing pressure on government to change the policy. The threat of a private members bill was a crucial element in the government’s turnabout. The government announced that “a child shall only be detained as a matter of last resort”.

The Ombudsman was to review cases of detainees who had been in detention for more than two years and make recommendations about their release. The minister was required to report the recommendations to Parliament within 15 days, but could not be compelled to act on them. Other elements of the changes forced by the backbenchers included an agreement to place time limits on the processing of protection visa applications and offer the existing 4000 refugees on Temporary Protection Visas (TPVs) permanent protection within 90 days.

Winding Forward, Winding Back

In 2007 the Rudd Labor government was elected. As the boats slowed, the new government made good its election promise to dismantle the “Pacific Solution”. It ended TPVs and abolished detention charges. Mandatory detention and ‘excision’ of the migration zones remained firmly in place.

Two years later, boat arrivals bounded from seven in 2008 to 60. A deepening sense of panic gripped the government. A withering attack was unleashed by the Opposition accusing the government of not protecting the borders and encouraging smugglers.

The government suspended processing refugees from Afghanistan and Sri Lanka claiming that the situation in both jurisdictions was evolving and that the “Taliban’s fall, durable security in parts of the country and constitutional and legal reform to protect minorities’ rights have improved their circumstances.” This led to increased periods of detention, overcrowding and outbreaks of violence. Incarcerated children became a resurgent issue.

(read more by clicking the link above)

The Sounds of Sirens – The Final Conclusion

10 Tuesday Sep 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Lehan Winifred Ramsay

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Rudd

Conclusion to Lehan Winifred Ramsay’s mini-series

IT’S HERE. BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND. THE STORY THAT THE OTHER MAINSTREAM MEDIA REFUSED TO RUN

Two men stand on the dais before the Great Walk On The Water. It is The Course of History and Only One Man can Survive. There is Mister A Boat. And there is Mister Rudder.

Neither of them of course prepared to admit that the most vehement, the most emphatic subject of their campaign was based entirely on the boatiness of their names and how that was going to resonate to the public. Even Mister Rupert Murdoch has not been shameless enough to invoke the name of the McCales Navy in this fight-to-the-death, preferring a more nuanced referencing of Hogan’s Heroes. This is probably because he can edge in not only a reference to women but also the ongoing social controversy in America concerning weapons and therefore get the conversation round to John Howard again.

This is The Walk On Water and it should not even be attempted by someone who is not prepared to swear that they will in their determination to become the Leader of This Great Country of Ours try absolutely anything. Things that ordinarily you would be put into a mental hospital for, things that ordinarily might be considered not cricket. Mister A Boat is prepared to say that he would consider anal sex, that’s pretty shocking and it is not going to be topped by Mister Rudder and that is probably why he is going to fall through that great Partisan Platform out there. We all know that, apparently, even though the contest has not yet begun. Anyone who doesn’t know that is really dumb.

There are other rituals for the attaining of manhood and Leadership of course but since that nasty incident last year with the Walking Barefoot On Coals at one of those Tony Robbins events nobody is even going to suggest them. So that’s enough of a lead-in here, our two candidates are at the waters shore now and they have taken off their shiny black shoes being careful to untie the laces first and peeled off their breathable socks cuts down on athletes foot and they have taken their first steps and YES! It DOES! It DOES look like they can walk on water! In fact they ARE, they ARE walking on water it is a small miracle here today folks but a big one for Christianity which is being redeemed as we watch. Oh god, the humanity.

A bold step each of them takes out onto the water and another and another both looking very confident and somehow bigger and more emphatic with each step. But oh Mister Rudder has just dropped below the surface of the water some of the security are just donning life jackets and reading health and safety regulations they will be out there in just a moment. But oh wait there is a kind of choir that has popped up there they are singing. Everything’s all right now everything’s fine. And it’s cool and the ointments sweet for the fire in your head and feet and I think this was meant to be an interlude it is clear that Mister Crow has really done a lovely job with the local volunteers and this could be a bit of a highlight. We are just segueing smoothly into Les Miserables now. Mister Rudd has been pulled in by a pole with a robotic looking arm there.

Mister A Boat, he is still walking. He is just walking and walking, across the water, and from here his hair it seems to be growing, almost leonine, the hair dye seems to be fading, from here he appears almost hawkish, it is quite remarkable. I understand that it looked good to start them both off at the Parliament House but Mister A Boat is just getting further and further away, who knows where it is going to end today. People have started blowing whistles now, trying to get his attention there is talk of ordering in some of those things from the South African World Soccer Cup vuvulesas perhaps but he seems distracted by something, he is looking a little up into the sky, he seems to be seeing something there, something up there, in the sky. Anyway that’s how it happened here today.

Unworthy, Unworthy, Unworthy

09 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by Therese Trouserzoff in Emmjay, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Abbott, Labor, Liberal, Mungo MacCallum, Rudd, Turnbull

ferretabiliaStory by Emmjay

In the late 1960s and throughout the 1970s, I was fond of reading the weekly newspaper The Nation Review.  There were many top shelf contributors including luminaries of the times like Germaine Greer, Phillip Adams, John Hepworth, Morris Lurie, Bob Ellis and the redoubtable cartoonists of the day, Michael Leunig and Patrick Cook.  Richard Walsh wrote a paperback coffee table book about the Nation Review and charted its course through to its demise in 1983 (thanks Wikipedia).  Walsh’s book was called “Ferretabilia” – maybe a copy or two left at Leura Books – because Nation Review as Wiki says “styled itself as ‘Lean and Nosey – like a ferret’

mungoI always enjoyed Mungo MacCallum’s pieces and I was reminded of this in today’s book purchase at random – from Berkelouw’s in Newtown – called “Punch and Judy” – referring  (too kindly in my view) to the state of the recent and current political canvas.

punch-judyIn this book, Mungo shows us that he’s lost none of his sharp, perceptive and dry wit since those Nation Review days.  He borrows the definition of “Punch and Judy” from Eric Partridge’s Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English (“a deception, an unbelievable story”) and dedicates the book to his old friend Graham Freudenberg (Gough Whitlam’s speech writer), referring to the old days when politics was “important, passionate and fun”.

And it occurred to me that he’s summed up nicely the current political malaise in just a handful of words -it certainly isn’t like the old days – politics nowadays have become trivial, deeply disrespectful, cynical and dire.

Richard Walsh said that the Nation Review folded because the readership had moved on and that many people amongst the paper’s left-leaning readership had become – by 1983 – disenchanted with politics – not least because of an abiding sense of unassuaged outrage at the Dismissal, but also because of the ridiculous caravan of buffoons the Labor party had foisted on the Australian citizenry, the decent bloke but unelectable leadership of Bill Hayden (who was as charismatic as his batting counterpart in cricket – Bill Lawry, otherwise referred to as ‘ a corpse with pads’) and the apparent contentment voters seemed to feel under Malcolm Fraser’s prime minister-ship.  Until Bob Hawke broke the national political slumber party and set the Labor record by winning four elections on the trot.

That may have been true, but I recall the 1980s as a decade of working my bum off, making a quid, buying a house and raising a pair of baby Emmlets.  I let my membership of the Labor party lapse because other, more personal things intervened.  I left – as they say – “for family reasons”.

Meanwhile in another universe, John Hewson, like Tony Abbott more recently, managed to lose the unlosable election – to the much disliked, but enormously talented and consummate politician, Paul Keating (whose Dad, incidentally played bowls with my Dad on the odd occasion).

Tony Abbott, similarly lost the unlosable election to the much disliked Julia Gillard – who proved to be not so much ‘consummate’ as she was ‘consumed’. Although nobody can take away from her triumph – the NDIS – or the poisoned chalice of being Australia’s first female prime minister.

Mungo MacCallum’s book is about the 2010 election, but so much of his picture remains as fresh as the day he painted it.  The political landscape seems to have changed so little, notwithstanding the last election result being the first minority government since World War II.

Both parties struggle to be more popular under their respective leaders, abandoning the fundamental principles that should be their raison d’etre.  How can voters of conservative or progressive persuasions deal with the unashamed bastardry of the asylum seeker issue, the poll-driven gutlessness or straight out incompetence of the mining super tax, the on and off and on carbon tax (which surely has to be one of the daftest responses to the seemingly deniable climate change disaster) ?

Is it any wonder under the current major parties and their dropkick leaders that we are facing an impossible choice – a brown turd government or a black turd government ?  Is it any wonder that the outcome is more likely to be determined by redneck idiots believing a massively lethal and self-interested, even evil media ?  Is it any wonder than the youth vote – that could have the power to turn this election into something that might arouse some passion and idealistic fervour – could not give a tinker’s cuss ?

I have to admit that I felt – and still feel that John Howard was a disgrace to his high office – and that a man who, riding on the coat tails of such an unworthy dill as George W Bush, took Australia into not one, but two completely unjustifiable bloody and disastrous conflicts.  And I was proud that Australians told Howard and his cronies how lowly we regarded them, when they tossed him out of his own electorate and the Libnats out of government.

We didn’t throw him out for this reason.  We threw him out mainly because of his shitty, demonstrably unfair and un-Australian industrial relations policies – rightly hammered in a wonderfully effective campaign run by the unions – before the same unions’ leaders went on to show an undisguised propensity to spend their member’s union dues in brothels.

Instead of the Rodent, we went on blind trust with a dork who magically appeared out of the Queensland wilderness and turned into some kind of administrative mandarin-speaking autocratic brown nose.

But perhaps the most telling observation offered by Mungo MacCallum was the poisonous internal shitfighting of both the major parties.  The NSW Labor corruption managed to eclipse the incompetence of the far right Labor in NSW and Queensland that, thanks to the media, well and truly (and perhaps rightly so) overshadowed the recriminations within the Liberals – Abbott turning on the NSW Liberal far right religious power-broker David Clark who Abbott saw as stacking the NSW party with dud candidates and thereby ensuring the loss of the unlosable election.  If this is not a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, I’ll be damned.

And let’s not forget the Abbot – Turnbull leadership debacle, which, had the one vote majority gone to Turnbull instead of Abbott, could have seen the biggest landslide in Australian political history instead of this tensely poised struggle between two idealistically barren drop kicks.

This time the choice for voters is different. Through both the main parties’ barren policies and their cynical power-hungry amoral machinations, they have set in stone the abject poverty of the two-party system.  They have shown us that both the Labor and the Liberal parties  have become corrupt and despicable beyond belief.

This time Australia really needs to throw out not only the Government – but also the Opposition.  And unless we let the two main parties go, a double double dissolution is impossible to achieve.

I have said in a previous article (OK, I admit that it was clichéd) that Australians will get the government we deserve, regardless of the outcome.  If our elections continue to be won by manipulating the media, by convincing rednecks and bogan half-wits with no moral compass to vote (even against their own personal interests) for policies (like boat arrivals) that are unimportant in the bigger scheme of things, and ignore issues that DO matter – like climate change, education, employment and the environment, the world will see another prime example of the ugly side of western democracy – government of the unworthy, for the unworthy, by the unworthy.

← Older posts

Patrons Posts

  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025
  • Post COVID Cooking February 7, 2025
  • What’s Goin’ On ? January 21, 2025

We've been hit...

  • 713,784 times

Blogroll

  • atomou the Greek philosopher and the ancient Greek stage
  • Crikey
  • Gerard & Helvi Oosterman
  • Hello World Walk along with Me
  • Hungs World
  • Lehan Winifred Ramsay
  • Neville Cole
  • Politics 101
  • Sandshoe
  • the political sword

We've been hit...

  • 713,784 times

Patrons Posts

  • The Question-Crafting Compass November 15, 2025
  • The Dreaming Machine November 10, 2025
  • Reflections on Intelligence — Human and Artificial October 26, 2025
  • Ikigai III May 17, 2025
  • Ikugai May 9, 2025
  • Coalition to Rebate All the Daylight Saved April 1, 2025
  • Out of the Mouths of Superheroes March 15, 2025
  • Post COVID Cooking February 7, 2025
  • What’s Goin’ On ? January 21, 2025

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 373 other subscribers

Rooms athe Pigs Arms

The Old Stuff

  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 373 other subscribers

Archives

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Join 279 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...