Bumper Christmas Edition 2016 – Sandy for Parley Mint.

23 Friday Dec 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark, Politics in the Pig's Arms

Tags

Father O'Way, Foodge, granny, humour, Merv

Church of St Generic Brand

Story by Mark.

Father O’Way was looking rather pens…, um, nerv…, anyway he was looking rather sumfink. He had just got off the phone with Bishop Bishop.

“Sandy, it’s the Bish. I want you to run for parley mint. The Church of St. Generic Brand needs gubbermint representation” barks the Bish.

“But Bish, eyes hate running, makes me all hot and sweaty” replies Sandy.

“No not that sort of running you ninny. You get people to vote for you and then

The Bish in disguise…

when you are elected to parley mint you vote for all sorts of stupid things that don’t make sense and hurt innocent people.”

“But Bish, can’t I just go back to sleep and forget about it?”

“No. So get to man. Everything depends on you. May the farce be with you.”

*****

Sandy wanders into the front bar of the Pigs Arms, sad and forlorn that his simple life is about to become more complex.

“Wanna pint Father?” asks Merv. “What’s up with you. I just read the paragraph above and it says that you are sad and forlorn.”

“Where’s Granny?”

“She’s in Orkland with the twins. Are you okay?”

Sandy strums a tune…

“Well the Bish wants me to run for parley mint. Me, I just want a simple life none of this gubbermint rubbish.”

“Foodge, you’re starting to express yourself more now you’ve been at school for a while.”

“WTF are you doing Merv?” cries Sandy.

“Sorry mate just making a comment in Episode 80 of the Foodge series and speaking of Foodge why don’t you ask him, he’s a sage for sure”

Sandy wanders around the bar and spots Foodge in deep discussion with Emmjay and O’Hoo.

“So Granny’s getting back Christmas Eve?” states Foodge.

“Foodge!!, what…” demands Sandy.

“Sorry mate just making a comment in Episode 81 of the Foodge series, now what’s up Father?”

“The Bish wants me to run for parley mint and I have no idea as to what to do.”

“Well Sandy, neither do they.”

*****

Oh FFS, this is just stupid Sandy thinks to himself. What is this life really all about, oh, I feel a poem coming on.

“Nah, nah, no Sandy, no poems, ick, anyway this is Christmas, says so in the heading. It’s a time for merriment and um, er, um, sumfink.” says Hung from the commentary box.

I dunno thinks Sandy, life is so imaginative inside Inner Cyberia, well sort of…

Merry seasons greetings to you all from Bishop Bishop and Father O’Way from the Church of St Generic Brand to all the patrons at The Pigs Arms both past and present.

Hmm, Mary Christmas.

Merv is Undecided

28 Monday Nov 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Father O'Way, Merv

M is for Merv, sweet and chewy…

Merv is Undecided.

Merv awoke and wondered to himself as to whether he should get out of bed. He was undecided. Trapped, he thought, regardless of what he does next it becomes a decision. Problem was Merv was feeling highly undecided, not those other words that can no longer be used but highly undecided.

Granny enters the room with Merv’s breakfast, 14 pieces of bacon, scrambled egg and a mug of coffee. Even though Granny and Merv were no longer a couple, due to patrons of the Pigs Arms running out of emetics, she still, now in the background, so deep in the background that it will never be mentioned again, ever GST fucking ever, okay, that she still loved her man, just like all good women do.

Merv fondles Granny’s bosom but after advice from,

https://pigsarms.com.au/2016/11/27/speaking-as-we-were-at-the-bar-about-knockers/

“Merv, we are not allowed to tit one another off any more, the patrons have spoken and look at what Hon Shades says about tits, Nurse Barbara and Sister Yvonne agree but I dunno” moans Granny, moaning and moaning ah, yes [Hung here Merv, move on mate. Ewe and Granny is finished]

“I dunno either Granny. In my next life I coming back as Off, everyone seems to want to tell me to fu%$…”

“Merv, kiddies could be listening”.

Merv showers and dresses thinking that he ain’t going to fall for that one again.

“Where’s Father O’Way” cries Merv “ I need GOD(Gordon O’Donnell)”.

“Bless you my son, in the name of the father the son and the holy ghost, I now pronounce you man and wife, I forgive you your sins, 5 hail Mary’s blah blah blah” says Father O’Way, parish priest at the church of St Generic Brand, Inner Western Cyberia, down the road and around the corner from the pub.

A previous Sandy…

“Sandy, get Gordon, I want to speak to Gordon. Anyway what’s all this crap you are speaking?”

“Stereotyping but really I don’t know. I just say whatever Hung tells me, I guess you could call me a yes man”

“Me too, great band, Your’s is No Disgrace, bow, bow bow bow, bow” sings Merv.

***

Gordon, the creator of the universe, will not be happy if he is interrupted watching replays of the Bolt Report. It makes him very tensile indeed. However he gets the biggest laugh from this show.

Gordon appears as a hologram in the front bar following a phone call from Father O’Way, sees the beers and then materialises just like all supernatural bullshit artists can do in this fictional story.

Gordon, in another dimension…

“Hey, what’s up Merv?” asks Gordon as he downs a canoe.

“I dunno, 500 words maybe, meaning of life, me and Granny, next weeks lotto numbers, just asking like, I’m undecided.”

“I dunno” says GOD.

***

“What about you Gib?” asks Merv.

“Me mate, 100% rock solid, never waver or fence sit in my life ever, spit on me grave, yeah, dunno.”

“What about you Angler?” presses Merv, looking for some positive reassurance, you know, like when the coach has the full backing of the board.

“Hang on” says Angler “Just checking to see if I’m back from holidays, waiting, look at the FCK’ed scoreboard now, yes, back from holidays given the replay, no idea what you are talking about so dunno.”

[Authors Note: All fun, no offence intended to anyone.]

That’s me in the corner…

Merv and the Discarded Episode

17 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

granny, Merv

Merv on leave

Merv and the Discarded Episode.

Merv was going to say “Granny, where’s me coffee?”

And Granny was going to reply “In your mug you great big mug” but she didn’t, see this episode has been discarded, so everything that was going to be said didn’t actually get said.

“Thanks Granny” Merv was going to say, then he was going to give her a peck on the cheek, but alas, no instead nothing happened. No advanced frottage either.

Gib was going to say ”Will you two love birds stop it” but no, nothing happened.

Angler was going to pipe in about how it should be legal to discharge shot guns in the front bar but given the circumstances thought better of it.

Hon, Nurse Barbara and Sister Yvonne all seemed unusually quiet. No discussions of nursing rounds, first aid remedies or lippy and eyeliner were discussed. Cigarettes and ale were the order of the day, well sort of. Men’s arses, fair enough.

“Frigging Gord” unsays Hon Shades “don’t ask me about ROM or COM, just computer bullshit”

“Untolded you that Merv would unask for this” unsays Nurse Barbara.

Foodge entered the bar looking unresponsive. Oh yes, you know this could be the new, you know, thing, maybe the new thing but, be careful what you wish for. Expensive etc. may now finally get a rest. I hope everyone understands what I am not unsaying.

Anyhoo even the finest barrister in Inner Cyberia could only muster “Canoe of Trotter’s Special” but even that didn’t get said and a simple hand gesture to Merv and the order was placed, almost.

Now for the bad bit, er, um, unless you think this is already unbad or only moderately bad I’m sorry but this story is only going to get better or worse or even better unbetter and unworse.

I could go on but the Unpolice are here to take me unaway. let’s keep reading and TV’s crap so anyhoo O’Hoo unentered the bar after waking up on the pool table. Bruising aside he looked remarkably well for an octogenarian in his thirties. How unthinking of me, yes unback to silence between Granny and Merv.

“It’s over, the people have unspoken” unsays Merv.

“Unlook, okay” unsays Granny “ but how about one more unfuc@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

Oh, ungranny…

Merv and a New Guest

15 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

granny, Hon Shades, Merv

Merv and Granny feel the heat

Merv and a New Guest

The night had passed and Merv woke to the smell of coffee and bacon. Oh last night, what a night to remember. The passion, the coming together of two spirits. There is something special about the bonding and relaxation of your partner, smoothing and calming then sleep, deep, deep sleep then the snoring. Oh well.

Granny enters with Merv’s 14 pieces of bacon and some scrambled egg and now a mug for his coffee.

They kiss lightly at first, then deeply honouring each others soul and commitment from the night before. The feeling was intense between them. More powerful than a locomotive. Merv gently caresses Granny’s generous bosom and she smiles “Yes tonight my sweetheart. Now in the mean time get the fark up and get down the bar, a guest has arrived.”

Don’t you just hate that, just at the good bit, you know, rumpy pumpy and the author changes tack, and I hate early mornings, thinks Merv, surely 11 or 12 O’Clock is okay?

Merv enters the bar after his liaison with Granny.

“Ladies and Gentlemen and piglets and even yo O’Hoo I would like to introduce a new guest at the Arms, Hon Shades” announces Merv.

Applause all round from the crew, even O’Hoo.

“My name is Hon”

For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow

For she’s a jolly good fellow and so say all of us

Beers all round. Roar the crew.

“Hon Shades”

For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow

For she’s a jolly good fellow and no one can deny.

Beers all round. The bar has gone viral.

“I like poetry, music art and writing short stories”

For she’s a jolly good fellow, for she’s a jolly good fellow

For she’s a jolly good fellow and so say all of us

Beers all round.

Can any one else see a trend developing? I can and I’m the author.

“Where are you from Hon?” askes Merv.

“I’m from Mount FarFarAway”

“Is that close to here?

“Yes, well, it’s down the road and around the corner.”

***

Merv and Granny have settled into Heaven, the name they give the flat above the pub.

“Granny, my doctor has recommended that I do some deep breathing tonight, can you help me?”

“Hum, yep, I think I might”

“Why do my two minute noodles take three minutes to cook?” think speaks Merv.

“Just a mystery of the universe, ask Gordon, he’ll know, anyway shut up and start kissing you big lug!!”

Merv and Granny in formal mode.

Merv Recoils

08 Tuesday Nov 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

granny, Merv

Hey, Merv here, sip and relax, forever…

The Real Merv.

Merv has recoiled from the last episode and is actually a bit pissed off at the writer that lead him naked down an alley way so to speak.

As the author, I am only able to type for short periods of time, given the beating Merv, my new pal, gave me. Boy did I learn a lesson. Pity I can’t remember it, oh well.

Merv now presents himself with pressed white silk shirt, black trousers and immaculate hair, black shoes. Clean filed short nails and all nasal hair clipped, number one honcho. Forward to side by side, you know in the trenches, side by side, oh yes, so that you could push him in front of the bullets, yeah, what a guy.

This new bouffant behavior at the bar was causing a bit of a stir among the patrons.

Nurse Barbara and Sister Yvonne were chatting in a lowered tone.

“Next they’ll want lippy and eyeliner” says Nurse Barbara.

“No way, it’s too ex-pensive” grins Sister Yvonne.

“Is that really ex-pensive with a shitload of ex-pensive on top of that?”

“That’s the one. Would you like to go down to the shop?”

“Er, nuh,we did that one.”

Meanwhile Gib and Angler are totally unperturbed about this new style by Merv. Just keep the beers coming and all is good. Aren’t us blokes simple.

They have their shotguns straddled across the bar. O’Nwee’s from Iunne of course, cleaning this, comparing that.

“Hey, see Merv has turned himself into a purse carrying Nancy boy.” remarks Gib as he examines the trade mark on the O’Nwee shot gun Maid in Iunne by O’Nwee it says. True class thinks Gib.

Angler stares at his beer. Remember Totters Ale can have a strange effect on folk. “Given the Earth is close to other celestial bodies I think it is inevitable that Merv’s new affliction could be placed on a bell curve distribution however subtropical rain forests are the best.”

“Whoa there fella” cries Gib “Merv, two more and I’m having what he’s having”

Merv pours two more Specials for the boys. “Hey fellas, can we have it on record that I’m dressed in this episode?”

Roars of laughter and wolf whistles rain on supreme.

“I’ll take that as a yes then” groans Merv.

The light dims just like in the movies. Granny comes and embraces Merv. That hug and the electricity between them is so strong that they would have had a rebate if fed into the grid. They feel each others breath, hot, strong and deep. “Your bewtiful” says Granny.

“Ewe is bewtiful two” muffles Merv

[Hung here. Hey if there’s a sex scene here I’m out, it’s explicit in my contract, no sex scenes.

Okay Mark here, I’ll take over]

They caress. Casually and at first lip to lip then with their hands they feel each others faces, identifying the inner being in each, then running their hands upon each other, kissing deeply, so special, so personal, so loving, two soul mates merging.

Merv feels Granny’s curvaceous bosom as she holds him in, not to let go, she has her man, will he respond?

The tension builds as they kiss deeply, passionately and all those other words that end in ly and ing. The longing and the wanting all here tonight, yes this could be it. Is there someone special in my arms tonight?

Granny ascends into heaven…

Merv wants a Mug

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

granny, Merv

Simulated Mug

Merv wants a Mug.

Oh what a glorious day, hmm, the sun has risen, well about 6 hours ago and life is under way in it’s usual manner. Merv rises from the love tub and saunters into the front bar.

“Granny, I want a mug from now on” orders Merv.

“Fark ewe, they is two ex-pensive” replies Granny.

“Well how ex-pensive are they?”

“Well think of ex-pensive then add a shit load more. I’ll take you down to the mug shop, I’m sure you have been there before” continues Granny.

So off they trod down the road and around the corner to the Mug Shop. Merv immediately realises that he has been coming here well, is your whole life a lot?

Granny takes Merv to the mug counter. Please take a ticket the sign says so Granny retrieves one.

The ticket says Thank you. You have been countered and will be taken as mug No:142.

Hmm, thinks Granny, something ain’t right here seeing it’s only me and Merv.

A man appears from behind the counter. “Number 141” then after a pause “Number 143”

“Hay, wot’s goin on ear, me and Merv are 142!!” demands Granny.

“Sorry, have you been taken for a mug lately?” asks the man.

“Wot?”

“Sorry, only odds today” says the man “however I suppose you do look a bit odd and I suppose I’ll break every rule in the book and serve you.”

Bloody hell thinks Granny, what have I got myself into here.

“Now Sir Merv. You seem to have mugness down to a fine art attending here with your daughter and still in your night attire, a true mug if ever, what type of liquacious receptacle are you looking for?” smarts the man.

“WTF, I sleep in the bollocky”

“Then you are in not only trouble but really big trouble. No where in the text above says that you actually got dressed, out of love tub, sauntered into bar, came down to shop, wow, you are one crazy mug.”

“Shit mate sell me a mug will ya, crown jewels and all that” pleads Merv.

“Well mate I can bullshit all day and make you spend lots of money but the best mugs are made by O’Nwee from Iunne and are only 20 bucks. Whaddya say? Deal or no deal?”

“Deal”

[Sound of Pleece siren under the Doppler effect times 4]

“Hold it, hold it” says Sargent Sulphate of the Mug Squad for the Inner Cyberian Pleece. “The gubbermint now attaches a surcharge of 10 bucks on any mug.”

“Hey, that ain’t fair, 10 is one more than 9” injects Hung from the commentary box.

“Yes but 1 less then 11” replies the copper.

“Okay, sounds a good deal to me” agrees Hung.

Hmm, would have got it cheaper at McBunurphys, thinks Granny. A day in the life…

Granny fudging oops doing the accounts

The Tale of Bunny and Lizzie

22 Monday Aug 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark

≈ 13 Comments

The Tale of Bunny and Lizzie by Mark

Bunny

It was yet another glorious morning. The sun was shining, white clouds drifted above without a care in the world. Butterflies roamed the garden as bees searched for their ever desired nectar. Blue skies seemed to provide just enough sun for things to grow and so with that the cycle goes.

Oh, my names Bunny, this is my story. I’m a rabbit, yep, one of them pesky varmints however stay tuned. This is a tale about friends joining together to fight for what is a good cause

Lizzie is my friend, she is a lizard who shares our condominium other wise know as a burrow.

Me and Lizzie live down the back of a garden run by annamuls, well that’s what we call them. To make it easy, some call them mankind.

“You on the grass again?” says Lizzie

“Shit yeah. I love the smell of freshly cut grass in the morning” I reply.

“I haven’t seen a frog in a while but I can smell a slug, c’mon breakfast”

“Lizzie, do you have to be so carnivore all the time? Can’t you consider us vegetarians?”

“Nah. Slurping flies is great fun too Bunny you should try it some time. Look, Bunny wheeze is different cultures, best friends and sisters in arms, this is multifaunaism at its best.”

I don’t know about this mutlifaunaism, do I invite in a fox? Hmm, of course not but me and Lizzie do gel well.

Lizzie saunters off to digest some poor unsuspecting creature but me, no, grass and more grass is everything I want. Imagine a world on grass. Breakfast lunch and tea, just grass, grass and grass. The more grass the better I say.

Just as I was sort of getting carried away with the grass thing the birds called and me and Lizzie headed for the condo. A mankind thing was approaching. Could get scary here. Children should eat all their vegetables and go to bed etc. etc. Parental Warning advised.

The mankind thing said he was going get a gun and kill all us pests. Now, you are sitting there saying “WTF, a lizard and a rabbit understand English?”

Yes. We do. And please don’t pat a dog on it’s head, stroke it’s flanks, duh. Now, lets get down to business shall we.

Lizzie appeared from the Canteen a La Natural licking her lips in delight. Garlic she thinks, hmm, nice.

“Wheel get our own guns” says Lizzie “shoot the bastards”

Well, I say “How?”

“Wheel steel the mankind things car and go and buy some guns on pay wave. The annamul always leaves the keys in the starter. I saw all this when I was getting some sun and watching it through a window on TV. I’m an expert then so I’ll do the pedals, you just do the steering, okay Bunny, you got it?”

Lizzie

“For Gord’s sake Lizzie, since when aren’t you in the sun? You’re a freaking lizard. I just want grass, you better be an expect mate, all that grass, so little time. Well I suppose that this is one small step for rabbit but one giant leap for rabbit kind”

“Reverse clutch start down the drive way, chuck a sharp left, no right, 90 degrees, in 1.256 nanoseconds, just kidding, okay, feeling good?” stirs Lizzie.

The car starts just as Lizzie said and we steered it down the street to buy guns until this happened,

“Hey Bunny go through the drive through at McFrogs”

“Shit Lizzie, I’m a vego”

“You can get vego food at McFrogs and the Flies are great”

I drive into the drive through lane as Lizzie manipulates the pedals so I get to the speaker,

“Hello, this is Mc Frogs, would you like to place your order?” says the bot.

McFrogs

Now you could say, no, I’m just standing here, simple resolve.

“Wheel have a double McFrogs large with Flies and a cesspit slushie and I’ll have a grass salad sandwich hold the onion, with a mineral water.”

“Any desserts with that order, we got Chocolate Mouse on special”

“Er, yuk, just one thanks”

Pay wave we go and off to the gun shop and order two AK 47’s for our dads and we take them home for them, aren’t we good?

We dig in in the back yard. This is serious now. The mankind things start firing, so we fire back, bang,bang, boom , boom, or sorry, forgot to mention that we got some rocket launchers as well, ka bang bam just like on Batman till bam, Lizzie gets hit.

“Lizzie, I hope you have on clean underwear, you have to go to hospital”

“I ain’t coming back Bunny, says in the script, unless everyone has a woe is me moment. I’ve been semi- fatally wounded and am unable to come back unless Mark says so and you know how unpredictable that can be(cough, cough)”

“Eyes can’t see Mark agreeing to that or anything really. Okay then, bye my friend.”

*************

The kookaburras sing. The first light is about to happen. I wake and see Lizzie just about to leave the apartment.

“Lizzie, I thought…”

“A dream my friend, get off that grass…”

************

I thought he said boost hits…

Modern Merv

05 Friday Aug 2016

Posted by Mark in Foodge Private Dick, Mark

≈ 13 Comments

Foodge and Merv

Foodge was looking pensive, no worried, no pensive. Hang on, make your effing mind up and decide. Is Foodge pensive or worried? Who are you? Me? Yes you? Dunno, anyway pensive Foodge was worried about Merv. Ewe no, if I can keep this up, I can see that pensive may take over from ennui or even worse, yo.

Ever since Merv got his mobile phone all he does is walk around all day with his head down, looking at the phone. It seemed so incredibly marvelous that he devoted all of his time to his new toy.

“What’s the time?” says Foodge, hoping for some sort of reasonable answer.

“Dunno” replies Merv.

“What about your fancy purse carrying nancy boy toy Merv?” retorts Foodge.

“Piss off dick, get it, dick, Foodge the private dick, ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah” Merv says politely.

“Wot’s all this about?” spurts Sister Yvonne.

“Well, Merv has this new modern contraption called a mobile phone and he cannot take his eyes off it to save his life” informs Foodge.

Sister Yvonne grabs Merv’s phone.

“Merv, this isn’t even turned on you bozo, what the are you looking at?”

“Well look at this.” Merv shows Sister Yvonne a reflection of himself in the screen area of his phone.

“Well get my donkey, have you been whisking the primate?” interjects Nurse Barbara as she chews on barbecued goat’s testicles on a stick, downs a pint and sucks a fag, yes, everyone, this is what multi-tasking is really all about.

“Ask Gib W to fix it, he nose dem fings” says Angler, fresh from holidays, tanned and relaxed although a little bit windy, maybe one to many tacos perhaps, or was it sailing? hmm.

“I’m on knight shit, I work at night and it is shit. I’m not available in this dialogue. Please direct any other enquries to Box XYZ in your capital city” replies Gib.

“Shit, piss, fuck” roar the crew.

[Can anyone contact the author? Having trouble, square brackets are supposed to do it]

[Hmm, cough, snort, cough, more coughing, get the picture, what?]

Foodge in the meanwhile decided to give up looking pensive or worried to the point of ennui.

[Interval music]

Now, while we are taking a break here I

[Sorry, I was taking a break. Even writers need a break.]

[[Sorry, I was taking a break]]

[[[Really, really sorry, I was taking a break…]]]

Ennui any one?

Post Election Blues

15 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by Mark in Big M, Mark

≈ 24 Comments

Gib W ready to start work…

Gib W was looking worried, no pensive. Well what is it? It can only be one or the other? Well he was worriedly pensive, how’s that, and who are you any way? Me, I’m you. I’m just talking to you as I felt like it and I became pensively worried, hmm.

“You look a bit pensive Gib, what’s wrong mate?” asks Angler, fresh off the Flyer and fortunately in time for dinner, oh yes the man must be a musician to have timing like that.

“No I’m worried but the author is paying me back about a comment I made about Foodge being pensive and punishment is in this episode I’m pensive.” blarts Gib worriedly.

“Oh, no worries, lets shoot him” replies Angler.

“Nah, if we shoot him he doesn’t get to finish the story and then we won’t exist till next episode and who knows when that will be” moans Gib, rather pensively.

“Shit” says non-pensive Angler.

“Shit” says the crew. Mixed bag, sorry no understanding of pensiveness from this lot.

“Anyway, what’s this blink’in story about?” interjects Nurse Barbara as she lights a fag and downs a pint, as you do.

“Hope it about blokes with tight bums” crows Sister Yvonne.

“It’s about the election” says Gib ” The Purse Carrying Nancy Boys polled roughly around you know, sort of, well, sort of none really”

The crew dimmed into the background as if on a long distance drive. Lots of road kill. Not much to say. Thinking about women and glasses of beer, as the moon rises…(thanks JT)

Wow, their one and only party decimated as they all forgot to vote for them. The other issue was they forgot to nominate a candidate. But look, these things happen and you have to live and learn or learn and live, something like that.

This is my sort of party.

Hung’s New Parliament

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by Mark in Mark, Politics in the Pig's Arms

≈ 17 Comments

Dees is Us

Seems I’m still popular which is truly a selfie in the face of overwhelming odds. Oh yes, to be Hung at this stage is just what the country needs. For anyone new, my old screen handle was Hung One On. This name came from a supervisor who when I was a young fella would say to you if you are little late or red eyed, “What’s wrong with you boy, have you hung one on?” meaning are you hungover. Prophetic indeed.

Now we are back to 2010 by the looks, read this

Hung’s Parliament

Now, lets look at what I would change.

Give people jobs. Just don’t talk about it, do it, especially the kids.

Fix the environment. Julia started it, now keep going with it.

Execute cats, rabbits and fine defaulters. Nothing changed here.

Fix the tax system, once and for all. Negative gearing, super, whatever, just fix it and put up with the consequences.

Get boat people out of the crap they have to deal with and bring them in. Sort them out, real ones stay, fuck the others off. Most come by plane any way.

Build something. Don’t sit on our hands, make our nation greater, fast trains, better roads, NBN, whatever, just do it, don’t worry about deficits etc., we did it with the bridge and the Snowy, keep going, don’t stop. Stopping is about the worse thing you can do.

Drugs. Get them out of the hands of the crims.

Execute anyone who doesn’t agree starting with Tony Abbott or 4WD owners.

Come on guys, we need revenue, revenue that was robbed from us by Howard. Abbott says he is a love child of Howard and B Bishop, god help us that there are even people like this out there.

Finally, just look after the poor and disadvantaged. They didn’t ask to be that way. Give them Maslow’s hierarchy of needs so they can live a good life.

Written and typed by Hung One On, aka, Mark. 2.5 hrs form parliament house and Canberra.

Window Dresser's Arms, Pig & Whistle

~ The Home Pub of the Famous Pink Drinks and Trotter's Ale

Category Archives: Mark

Bumper Christmas Edition 2016 – Sandy for Parley Mint.

Merv is Undecided

Merv and the Discarded Episode

Merv and a New Guest

Merv Recoils

Merv wants a Mug

The Tale of Bunny and Lizzie

Modern Merv

Post Election Blues

Hung’s New Parliament